How can I get back together after a breakup?(Men and women are universal, and they pay more) How to recover after a breakup
Earlier I mentioned an unfair but pervasive emotional phenomenon where a person gives a lot to his partner and is especially good to the other person, but is faced with the other person leaving. Why is this so?Why am I so good to you, and you have the cruelty to leave me?
01 Why do you give so much in love, and the person who wants to leave is still the other party?
If you have been in a low position in the relationship, and you want to influence the other person and keep the other person by constantly giving, these are useless.
The really effective way to do this is to change the emotional status and lead the other person to invest more in you.
How?
First, we can introduce a conceptual framework, that is, a pattern of interaction between men and women.
This framework determines who is leading the development of the relationship and who is passively submissive.
For example, for example:
Boy: Do you have time after work, can you have a meal together?
Girl: I'm not sure, there's something going on at night, so I'll contact you when I can go.
These two sentences seem simple, but they actually contain a lot of meaning.
First of all, the man's sense of need is significantly higher than that of the woman.
Secondly, in the high status of love, the man is lower than the woman.
Moreover, the woman is in charge of the framework, while the man is more obedient.
Barring an accident, if these two people end up together, there's a good chance that this framework will persist throughout the relationship. No matter how long they've been together, this framework will continue to influence their relationship from the first day they meet.
Of course, there will also be masters who will subtly change this situation in the future, and in fact they use the same principle we talked about today.
You might say, wouldn't this guy feel uncomfortable if it went on this way?
Unless there is a problem in their relationship, he himself will not be aware of the problem.
In the same way, even the dominant girlfriend will not be aware of the problem.
Because people in the framework are not aware of the relationship between their own frameworks. Maybe he often complains that he gives too much and gets too little in this relationship, but he will only think that he loves too much, or the other party doesn't know how to give. It would not be thought that this is because of the inertial potential energy at work in the relationship between the sexes.
02 What if you establish a good attraction framework in your intimate relationship and promote a breakup and reunion?
If you want to build a good inertial potential energy and build a good attraction framework to guide the other party to invest in you, you can try to meet the following three conditions.
The first is that you have to have a higher value, or your value should be relatively higher, that is, your value should be higher than that of the other party.
The second condition is to stimulate the other person's sense of need for you, that is, your sense of need should be lower than the other person's sense of need.
The third is to build expectations for a long-term relationship while getting along and set your framework.
(1) If you want to get back together after a breakup, you must have a higher value, or your value should be relatively higher, that is, your value should be higher than that of the other party.
Let's talk about the first point first, so that you have the best value. We often mention this phrase in the evening, but it is really not that easy to put into practice. Because it's a fairly systematic and complex process, but it's often the breakup that gives you this upward momentum.
For example, there is a man whose girlfriend dislikes him for being poor, so she leaves him and ends up with a very old, very ugly, but very rich boss. When this man learns about it, he must have been devastated in his heart, but then he cheered up, and through perseverance, he eventually succeeded in becoming a very valuable businessman. This example shows a typical situation where emotional trauma is transformed into motivation.
In fact, many people are too pessimistic about broken love, believing that as long as the other person leaves, their world will be ruined. If you have such a mentality, the effect of your recovery can be imagined. In fact, falling out of love can be seen as a big test in life, and redemption is the process of your cultivation. Only by experiencing all kinds of pain and difficulties and making yourself more determined and stronger will you gradually see the dawn of hope.
To put it bluntly, if the other person doesn't abandon you, you will never realize how self-righteous and immature you were in your past relationships, and you don't know how to cherish it, and you won't realize the insignificance of your past. It is because of the breakup that it awakens you and makes you realize your shortcomings and inadequacies.
Do you want to be better in the face of such a self?If you want to make yourself have the best value, it means two aspects.
First, you need to change some of the shortcomings that you have shown in your past relationships.
Second, on the basis of self-improvement, enhance their own value.
In fact, as long as you find a breakthrough and change step by step, these things are not so difficult.
(2) If you want to get back together after a breakup, you should stimulate the other party's sense of need for you, that is, your sense of need should be lower than the other party's sense of need.
Let's talk about the second point, which is to learn to stimulate the other person's sense of need for you.
The feeling of need is like an addiction, and once you get stuck in it, it is difficult to quit. If a person can't do without you at the beginning, he can't do without you next.
But for the situation that you have broken up, the other party may feel very guilty about you at this time, and even have a strong negative impression. His sense of need for you is almost zero, or even negative, and it may be too late to annoy you, let alone stimulate his sense of need for you. Therefore, in this case, we should first reduce our own sense of need in order to indirectly promote the other person's sense of need.
Lower your sense of need, or at least make sure you don't get stalked. Whether it is pleading or threatening, it is not a positive way to redeem it. You have to know that the tighter you press, the more the other person wants to escape, this is human nature.
In addition, controlling one's sense of need also reduces many futile emotional recovery actions and reduces the likelihood of feelings deteriorating. If you're still *** and the interaction is okay, it's best to keep the contact low. On the one hand, it can maintain the most basic emotional connection, and on the other hand, it can also help you understand the current situation of the other person. It's good for the rest of the recovery, and you don't have to go through the pain of missing after the disconnection.
(3) Establish expectations for a long-term relationship in your relationship and set your framework.
Finally, let's talk about how to set expectations and frameworks for long-term relationships.
To put it simply, if you want to be with someone, you should first let them know that you have long-term plans and that they have become part of your future. Similarly, in salvaging feelings, a clear motive for purity is very important. You have to make the other person understand that the relationship is saved because you really love him and can't let go of it, and not for other reasons. In the process, you have to show sincerity in order to really help the other person let their guard down.
However, this sincerity is not only expressed verbally, for example, the scene where the male protagonist proposes to the female protagonist in the TV series "Let's Get Married" is a touching example. He puts his real estate deeds, bank cards, car keys, etc. in front of Momoko, which shows that everything he has is here. Today, I'm going to hand this over to you, and we'll spend the rest of our lives together. This kind of sincerity will impress every girl.
Although I'm going to share some tips, it's the real emotions that really make a difference. Remember, the best trick is no trick, and the best strategy is no strategy. In addition, human nature is inherently good and tends to bully the weak. Therefore, when dealing with anyone, it is essential to let the other person understand your bottom line and rules. People who truly respect you will also respect your bottom line.