Bai Yaping threw out her child, making Bai Jingqi smile.
Because Bai Yingyu went to Anguo to apply for medicine and ** Zhonggong's funds, the second grandmother couldn't bear it and decided to complain to Bai Mengtang, so Bai Yingyu rushed to learn of the incident.
Bai Yingyu walked to the entrance of the second courtyard and kicked it violently with his foot, causing the door to come out"Bang"and crashed out. Subsequently, the courtyard gate collided with the door wall, and Bai Yingyu kicked hard again and rushed towards the north houseRushing out again, only a loud bang was heard. When Bai Yaping arrived at the door, she suddenly kicked hard, and then rushed in with a loud bang. Bai Yaping just threw Xiaobao at her, and immediately turned her head when she heard the voice, only to see Xiaobao falling. Bai Yaping hurriedly turned around to hug Xiaobao, but failed to catch him, and Xiaobao fell directly to the ground.
Xiaobao was so angry that he left permanently.
Xiaobao is not only the eldest grandson, but also the future hope and successor of the Guan family. Xiaobao has a prominent position in the family and is a pillar of support. The Guan family was thrown to death in order to make Bai Jingqi happy, how could they bear the great pain of losing their child?
Guan Shaoyi stood quietly next to Xiaobao, but he could no longer feel the sincere temperature;His eyes were filled with the scene of Xiaobao playing in his arms, but he could no longer touch his real body;He always wanted to take Xiaobao with him, but he never expected such an ending. He had thought about teaching Xiaobao how to read, write, and how to interact with people, but to his surprise, Xiaobao disappeared without a trace.
Happiness seemed to be put on hold, the pain spread, and a sudden and intense pain struck him, irritating his nerves. His heart was as heavy as a stone. He felt as if his heart had been pierced by countless sharp knives, and his whole body was filled with severe pain. It was as if a huge black hole was engulfing him and swallowing everything. The continuous pain felt like the huge waves of the Qiantang River were constantly surging towards him, wave after wave.
Xiaobao's loss has caused him a lot of psychological pressure, and he is unable to cope with emotional trauma, friction and conflict. He decided not to have any kinship with the Bai family anymore, and was determined to use his life to pay off his debts, even at the cost of killing people to pay for his life.
Guan Shaoyi adheres to the principle of "one life is worth one life", and at this time, Bai Yaping's eyes looked very scattered, her eyes were dull, and her mouth trembled and repeated the words "one life is worth one life".
When I first ** "Mansion Gate", I felt that Bai Yaping was an elusive woman. Although the second grandmother had warned her that "falling is not child's play" and that she had realized that this act of "abandoning the child" was dangerous, she did not give up this dangerous behavior. She really hurt Xiaobao by falling down. In fact, it was she who caused Xiaobao's death.
After reading it again, I finally understood the phrase "one life for one life" that she kept repeating, which made me understand the tragic extent of her life.
He was once abandoned by the Guan family and had a deep hatred with the Bai family, resulting in him having nowhere to settle down."
Bai Yaping and Guan Shaoyi are actually the marriage relationship of the family. The Guan family came from a family full of books, while the Bai family was a businessman. One of them aspires to advance his social status, while the other wants to reap some substantial benefits. Their relationship is one of mutual use, taking what they need and supporting each other.
Traditional arranged marriages often lack emotional bonds and are mainly based on the binding of interests. Bai Yaping often returns to her parents' home, and even chooses to live there. Guan Shaoyi is tolerant of her behavior, mainly because of her short hands. Not to mention, Bai Yaping also gave birth to a daughter and a son for Guan Shaoyi, forming a harmonious combination. Out of respect for the two children, the Guan family should also cast a higher eye on Bai Yaping.
Bai Yaping told the second grandmother like this:
I really don't like to go home, the people in our family, one after another, muddy radishes and spicy shallots, don't have the slightest temperature in their bodies. What do you think I'm going to do when I go home?There is also the old man, he became the editor of the Hanlin Academy, but when he walked in, there was no smile on his face, you asked me what was the purpose of going back?
Although Guan Shaoyi does not have deep feelings for Bai Yaping, although the Guan family is suspicious of Bai Yaping's daughter-in-law, and although Bai Yaping does not want to put her heart on the Guan family, after her daughter runs away from home, the Guan family is still the pillar of her future life and her real home.
Guan Shaoyi originally complained to Bai Yaping, because she went to her parents' house every day, claiming that after she got married, it was like she was not married. Bai Yaping accidentally fell to death her biological son, and Guan Shaoyi kicked Bai Yaping out of the house at the cost of new hatred and past grievances.
Guan Shaoyi's "one life is worth one life" is actually meant to convey to Bai Yaping, his purpose is to expel Bai Yaping from the Guan family, otherwise he will never be soft, so ruthless, so disloyal, and so resolute.
Except for Bai Yaping's parents, other members of the Bai family actually have different opinions on Bai Yaping's decision to return to her parents' home.
The second grandmother and Bai Yaping are close friends, but she once said something like this to Bai Yaping:
Okay, auntie, as long as you don't meddle in anything, the people in the family will be yours.
Uncle Bai is a very generous person, for those old people who faint on the side of the road or have no money to buy medicine, he is willing to send them home in his own carriage, and provide them with free medical and medicine services, and is even willing to give them five taels of silver. Regarding the matter of Bai Sanye's ** Zhonggong's 10,000 taels of silver, the Bai family uncle did not hesitate to use the money in his room as a mortgage, but he didn't expect that his children didn't even have the cost of making new clothes. However, his attitude towards Bai Yaping is like this:
Please don't choose here, is it okay?Once you get married, you are no longer a member of the Bai family, and you had better interfere less in family affairs.
If you go back to your in-laws' house to uphold justice, then what's the point of staying at your mother's house all day?
Although Bai Sanye did not show any dissatisfaction with her before Bai Yaping lost her biological son, the third master of the Bai family has never been a reliable person, and later he didn't directly drive Bai Yaping out of the gate of the Bai family?
Although she doesn't have a good impression of Guan Shaoyi and doesn't want to return to the Guan family, the Guan family is still her last retreat. In the Bai family, she was the daughter who got married, and from then on, everything in the Bai family had nothing to do with her, and she decided to return to the Guan family justly, because the Guan family was her real stage.
She deeply regarded "leaving" the Guan family as a dream of her own, and was reluctant to return to the Guan family almost every moment. Facing Guan Shaoyi's lifeless appearance, she didn't want to see the old man of the Guan family always smiling. The same is true for herself, she thought. However, she never really considered leaving here, she just wanted to be able to come and go freely. When she was dissatisfied with the Bai family, she chose to return to the Guan family, and the Guan family still greeted her with a smile."
But when the time really came for the Guan family to expel her from the house, her heart became tense, chaotic and afraid.
Sometimes, people get confused, and they may not feel anything special when they own something, but once they lose it, it's like losing everything. I am such a person, when I lost everything, I realized that everything was a thing of the past. Bai Yaping really lost everything, including children, husband, family, retreat and life.
When Bai Yaping read the sentence "one life is worth one life", she was shocked by Guan Shaoyi's ruthlessness, because his ruthlessness was something she had never seen before. Her heart was already very light, and she didn't know if she could get out of that "I love you" sound. She was shocked by the true feelings in her heart, she didn't expect the Guan family to have such a high status in her heart.
The sound of stagnant silence sounded, and her heart felt as if a big hole had been pierced, and she felt a sharp pain in an instant. It was a pain that I can't describe in words, and it was suffocating. The pain seemed to have gone through countless years of precipitation, from the initial slight tingling, soreness, numbness and sadness gradually spread, quietly penetrating every corner of the body, and finally forming a bloody hole, deep into the bone marrow, making people feel heartache.
Heartache for the loss of my son.
Po was like a piece of flesh that had fallen from her body, they were initially intimately connected, and each could feel the rhythm of each other's heartbeat and breathing, as well as each other's joy and pain. They are friends with each other, and it is only after living together that they realize their differences and differences. They see each other as the brightest light in life, and at the same time, they are also the guiding light of each other, showing each other the way forward in a dark environment.
When the father is only a superficial father, the mother already deeply feels the presence of the child. The child is like her heart, liver, and heart to the mother, and only the mother truly understands the pain and joy that it brings to the child. When the father passed away, the mother also began a new life, and when the son grew up, the mother began to grow old. However, mother and child are never separated. Children exist because they are in the mother's womb, and more importantly, there is a deep bond between the mother and the child, and they can share the joy together, regardless of the rain or shine.
Guan Shaoyi burst into tears because of Xiaobao's tragic death, and he sought justice from the Bai family, expressing his pain by severing ties, crying, making trouble, and demanding that the Bai family members compensate for their lives, which he believed could be released by venting and that there was an object to bear.
Bai Yaping's pain over Xiaobao's death was much heavier than Guan Shaoyi's, a thousand or even ten thousand times heavier. She recalls those joyous moments between Po and her, but now, the pain she experienced has become even deeper. Her pain was so silent that she couldn't shed tears, make a fuss, or argue. Her pain could not be found a suitable partner, so she could only bear and endure it in silence.
The phrase "one life is worth one life" that she keeps repeating, she does have such thoughts.
Since she lost her own son, it is Bai Yingyu's responsibility to ensure that her life is better. She knew if her son would become more selfish and aloof because of the loss of him. If it weren't for "one life for one life", she would hate Bai Yingyu, and might even kill Bai Yingyu. She knows that her responsibility and mission is to bring up her son, let him grow up healthily, and become a useful person for the country. She believes that the best way to live is "one life for one life". Although she knew that even if she fell to death Bai Yingyu or Bai Yingyu's child, she would not be able to save her son, but when she saw that others had also lost their sons, she felt like a knife, and her heart was like a knife. She was able to breathe a little, and it was also able to ease the loss and ecstasy in her heart a little. It brought a touch of comfort to her scarred heart.
Lu Xun has such an expression in his work "Morning Flowers and Sunset":
When I lose a loved one and feel empty inside, I will be filled with the malice of revenge!
She lost her own son due to a fall, and deep down she was a reproach to Bai Yingyu, and it was because he kicked the door hard that she became panicked and eventually led to Xiaobao's death. She knew that it was her fault, it was he who took his hand out of his back, her heart was hurting, and she wanted to wipe her tears with her hand. After losing Xiaobao, it was as if she had lost everything in her heart, and she was determined to avenge it, and her determination was to "exchange her own life for another life".
We should not lose our lives.
When she threw Xiaobao in order to amuse Bai Jingqi, the second grandmother told her this:
If you think people are crazy, don't throw it away, because you don't fall for fun.
She realized that such behavior was dangerous, but she did not stop, but continued to discard it without paying attention.
Indeed, it was Bai Yingyu who kicked the door hard and caused Xiaobao's death, but Xiaobao did fall from her hands. Xiaobao died in bed. If it weren't for the fact that she wanted to amuse Bai Jingqi, if she had followed the advice of the second grandmother, if she hadn't become flustered, Xiaobao would still be full of energy.
The phrase "one life is worth one life" reveals the fact that it was closely linked to her own destiny that she ultimately caused her son's misfortune and at the same time caused trouble for her mother's family.
She has brothers, husbands and children, and in this bustling world, she has both seen and tasted the prosperity and **. She has a son and a daughter, and she has tasted the grievances and grievances in this world. But Xiangling is different, she is still just a child, and in this world, she has not really begun to explore, experience and feel. Her world is her life, her whole life, all her experiences. People are disturbing, just like the temperature of drinking water is known only to themselves, which is a fact that no one can replace.
She deeply hopes to dedicate her life to Xiaobao, and if conditions allow, she would rather choose her own life and let Xiaobao appreciate the prosperous life in this world. If she could, she was willing to let Xiaobao leave this world and stay in this world for the rest of her life. If it were possible, she would definitely take the Yellow Springs Road instead of Xiaobao.
Even though her hands and palms were lumps of flesh, she still felt heartache. Xiaobao is gone, and she can no longer make Xiangling feel lonely and helpless.
When she parted ways with Guan Shaoyi, her story came to an end. She was his daughter. Despite this, Guan Shaoyi's story still lasted for a long time. In order to continue the tradition of the Guan family, he decided to marry again and have offspring.
Xiangling is her biological daughter, whether the Guan family recognizes her or not, or whether Guan Shaoyi loves her deeply, her existence is real, it may be brilliant or decaying. Her life is a tragic story. When Guan Shaoyi gets married again, the bride will definitely bring trouble to Xiangling, and Guan Shaoyi will definitely make Xiangling suffer endless pain because of his relationship with the bride and because of the wind around the bride.
Since she is gone, who else will care about Xiangling, and who will care about Xiangling?Therefore, she cannot respond with "resistance".
Although she can't ensure that she can protect Xiangling, she can't ensure that she can provide enough food and clothing for Xiangling, and she can't ensure that she can pave a bright path for Xiangling's future. However, she couldn't believe that when she wasn't there, Xiangling could have such a wonderful life.
She was already deeply guilty of Xiaobao and couldn't get angry with Xiangling anymore.
100 help plan
She no longer has the will to live, and hopes to walk with Xiaobao and accompany him on the road to Yellow Springs, but she has to continue to live, and Xiangling really needs her mother very much.
Her life is full of helplessness, struggle, and twisting, like an empty shell, a walking dead.