As the saying goes, "every family has a scripture that is difficult to read", every family is a small society, carrying countless unpredictable stories. These trivial housework are like the spice of life, allowing us to taste the ups and downs of life.
Life is a big drama without rehearsal, and after the performance, the valuable experience we gain becomes a source of life insight and wisdom. This wisdom may not fill our stomachs, but it motivates us to make the right choices at critical moments.
In the folk, various sayings about the family, such as "a family does not allow three surnames, and one house does not live for three generations", etc., carry the profound thinking of the predecessors. These sayings act as a compass to guide us through our families, avoiding reefs and towards the other side of happiness.
The family, as a microcosm of society, has always been in the spotlight. In recent years, the Internet has been flooded with discussions about topics such as parenting, marriage, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. These topics are close to our daily lives and have attracted great attention. In family sayings, we often talk about "home and everything is prosperous", "there is an old family like a treasure", "the children of poor families are in charge of the family early" and so on. These simple sentences contain a deep family philosophy that takes time to chew on.
However, people who understand these principles and can put them into practice are often able to run their families effectively. A person's words and deeds are inseparable from the family, and running a family well not only helps the development of the career, but also improves the quality of the person.
There is a saying in the family saying "a good wife and husband will not suffer misfortune", emphasizing the positive role of the wife's virtuous in the stability of the family and the development of the husband's career. However, in order to make the family harmonious, many prerequisites need to be met, because "it is difficult for a clean official to decide family affairs", and many family conflicts are difficult to explain, and even the law cannot solve them.
Among these prerequisites, one is particularly important, that is, "a family does not allow three surnames, and one house does not live for three generations". What is the deeper meaning of this saying?
First of all, we need to understand the concept of "three surnames". In the traditional Chinese concept, there is a saying that "if you are not a family, you will not enter a family", so there is a saying that "a family does not allow people with three surnames". The "three surnames" here refer to three different surnames, and it is not allowed for so many different surnames to exist in a family.
This concept is also reflected in ancient Chinese literature, for example, in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", Lü Bu is referred to as the "three family slaves", a title that stems from his complex and tortuous family background. Lü Bu went through a biological father and two stepfathers, and both were betrayed by him for various reasons. This behavior is regarded as unfilial piety in traditional Chinese morality, so the term "three family slaves" has become a derogatory term used to satirize those who do not abide by morality.
However, "a family does not tolerate three surnames" is not the same concept as the "three surnames" in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". Generally speaking, we refer to a family as a small family made up of parents and children. Therefore, there are no three different surnames. The father has one surname, the children follow the same surname as the father, and the mother has her own surname, so there are generally only two surnames in a family.
So under what circumstances will the phenomenon of "three surnames" appear in the family?
First of all, in the second-married family, which is what we call the "restructured family". If this kind of family is not tolerant enough, it is easy to have conflicts. Both spouses have their own children, and these children are not related by blood. In many traditional beliefs, children who are not biological are easily looked down upon. Therefore, special tolerance and understanding are required, otherwise it can easily lead to family disharmony.
Secondly, the situation that may appear in the "three surnames" is in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The model in many Chinese families today is that the mother-in-law lives with the son, and the daughter-in-law joins later. Due to the different lifestyles and Xi between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, friction is easy to occur. If the mother-in-law is unreasonable or inconsiderate of the daughter-in-law, family conflicts will continue to escalate. In this case, if the husband is able to handle the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the family life may be more harmonious.
However, it is very difficult to truly achieve "one family does not tolerate three surnames, and one house does not allow three generations". The warning of this sentence is to know how to manage the relationship between family members, or at least to make family life develop in a balanced direction.
In addition to "a family does not allow three surnames", there is a similar saying, "one house does not live for three generations". The meaning of this sentence is similar to that of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, emphasizing that the "three generations", that is, in-laws, sons and daughters-in-law, and grandchildren, should not live under the same roof.
This family model is common in ancient and modern times, both in China and abroad, and stems from the traditional understanding of filial piety. When parents are old, children should be by their side to show their filial piety to their parents. Problems between parents and children, as well as grandchildren, are relatively easy to resolve because they have been relatives for many years and have a better run-in. However, the daughter-in-law, as a new member, needs to readapt to the family, which is prone to friction and conflict.
These problems may be caused by incompatible personalities, different views or large differences in life Xi. If not handled properly, family conflicts can escalate endlessly. This is one of the main reasons why the divorce rate in China remains high today. Many couples have conflicts due to family patterns and end up in divorce.
In fact, after the son gets married, the parents should learn to let go in time and let the couple solve their own family problems together. However, many parents like to meddle in their children's marriages, which will not solve the problem, but may also exacerbate the conflict and lead to the deterioration of the relationship between the husband and wife. Therefore, modern parents need to have a correct attitude and understand that their son is just an outsider after he gets married, and it is not appropriate to interfere too much in married life.
I hope that future parents will be more sensible, understand the independence of their children after they get married, and stop interfering too much in their children's family life. It is only through mutual understanding and respect that families can be truly harmonious. Therefore, as a parent, you must first correct your attitude, keep pace with the times, and adapt to the changes in society. We must not only care for our children, but also respect their choices, so that every family can thrive in equality, understanding and love.
This article delves into the family proverb of "a family does not allow three surnames, and one house does not live for three generations", and comprehensively analyzes the connotation of this ancient proverb from historical allusions to contemporary phenomena. The author uses vivid language to integrate this traditional concept into contemporary society, so that readers can feel the dialogue between ancient family values and modern family challenges in the text.
First of all, the article begins with "Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read", which vividly compares the triviality and changeability of family life, so that readers can have a vivid and intuitive understanding of the whole family topic. Through the expression "life is a big drama without rehearsal", the author successfully creates an artistic conception that life is drama and drama is life, leading readers to think deeply about the nature of life and the role of family.
Secondly, when the article explains that "a family cannot tolerate three surnames, and one house cannot live for three generations", the article uses Lu Bu's "three surnames as a house slave" as an introduction, combines ancient allusions with real life, and cleverly introduces the complex relationship between family members. Through the analysis of marriage, reorganized family and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, the actual connotation of this ancient saying is profoundly revealed. Through this common saying, the article reminds readers to know how to deal with all kinds of complex interpersonal relationships in family relationships in order to maintain family harmony.
It is worth affirming that the article does not avoid the challenges of contemporary society, such as marriage, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship and other practical issues, which makes the article closer to the reader's life experience. As for the traditional concept that "a family cannot tolerate three surnames, and one house cannot live for three generations", the article concludes with the hope that future parents will be more sensible and understand the independence of their children, and not interfere too much in their children's family life. This positive appeal makes the article not only an analysis of the problem, but also an expectation for the future, and has the power to guide readers to look forward and take positive action.
However, the article also has some areas for improvement. For example, some more specific examples could be added to the explanation of the concept of "people with three surnames" to better help readers understand. In addition, words such as "Ma Bao Nan" and "Pu Gong Baby" mentioned in the article may not be easy to understand, and appropriate explanations or alternative words will make the article more fluent.
Overall, this review provides a full and in-depth analysis of the article, affirming its merits and pointing out some areas that could be improved. Such comments can help improve the author's writing skills, and can also lead readers to think more deeply about the role and influence of family values in contemporary society.
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