I didn't dare tell anyone around me what I heard from my cousin when I went home to the grave
Born in a quiet village in Gansu Province, Zhang Xin has been the neglected child for as long as she can remember, and her parents have been cold and ruthless. However, she was lucky to have an aunt who loved her, Zhang Meifang. Zhang Meifang not only shopped for her and prepared food for her, but also carefully combed her hair and told her touching stories. Therefore, Zhang Xin has a very deep relationship with her aunt.
Neighborhood rumors say that Zhang Xin's mother left the family just after 100 days. The reason is that Zhang Xin's father was an alcoholic and treated Zhang Xin's mother desperately when he was drunk. It is said that when she was pregnant, Zhang Xin's mother was almost beaten to the point of miscarriage, but fortunately, Zhang Xin's aunt appeared in time and saved her mother. This made Zhang Xin full of gratitude to her aunt, as if her aunt was her patron saint.
Despite this, Zhang Xin still longs for the love of her biological parents in her heart. However, she knows that there are some things that cannot be forced. As a result, Zhang Xin has always maintained a very sensible attitude and never gave up on herself because of her parents' indifference.
After entering primary school, Zhang Xin not only excelled academically, but was also a good student in the eyes of teachers. Back at home, she was also a sensible and well-behaved girl, taking the initiative to share the housework. Sweeping the floor, doing laundry, as long as it is within her ability, she will do her best to complete it. Zhang Meifang often advised her not to work too hard, but Zhang Xin always responded with a smile, saying Auntie, your hands are also washed from washing clothes, but how beautiful they are.
Zhang Meifang often sighs why such an excellent girl should have such parents. One is an alcoholic and disregards his family;The other only cares about himself when he divorces, and even entangles with other men when the child is not weaned. She felt that the two of them were a natural pair.
Sometimes, Zhang Meifang would fantasize that it would be nice if Zhang Xin was her own child, so that she could take care of her wholeheartedly without any concern. But the reality is cruel, and she can only try to take care of Zhang Xin, because her husband and son are not satisfied with it. Although Zhang Meifang buys things for both children and cooks delicious meals, her son Zhou Cheng always feels unfair. He thinks that if there was no Zhang Xin, everything would be his, but now he has to give half to Zhang Xin.
Zhang Meifang couldn't understand how to educate Zhou Cheng, so she could only be more biased towards Zhou Cheng later and try to avoid causing family discord. Fortunately, Zhang Xin has never cared about this. On the contrary, she always sensibly expressed her gratitude, saying that she would definitely repay her aunt and uncle when she grew up.
Sometimes, Zhang Jun is also moved by Zhang Xin's sensibility.
Zhou Jun felt that Zhang Xin was really too sensible, especially compared to his trouble-making son. As the two children grew up, Zhou Jun and Zhang Meifang liked Zhang Xin even more, which made Zhou Cheng hate her even more.
By the time she was in the fifth grade, Zhang Xin was able to cook for her family on her own, while Zhou Cheng was still addicted to catching birds and shooting birds with a slingshot. Whenever she enjoyed the meal cooked by Zhang Xin herself, and saw Zhou Cheng covered in mud, Zhang Meifang's anger involuntarily rose. Every time Zhang Meifang scolded Zhou Cheng, Zhang Xin would always mediate on the side, but this performance made Zhou Cheng even more dissatisfied with her.
Zhang Xin knows this situation, but what can she do?Zhang Xin's father, Zhang Guodong, is only at home two or three days a month, and during those days, he is often delirious because of alcohol. Zhang Xin sometimes wants to communicate with her father, but often she can only hear his snoring, and the words that she was about to say are forced to hold back. As a result, she gradually stopped expecting to communicate with her father.
Zhang Guodong's kindness to Zhang Xin is out of family affection, but his uncle has no obligation to be responsible for her. Therefore, Zhang Xin tried her best not to embarrass Zhang Meifang, working hard to cook, do laundry, and clean, and do her best to maintain order at home.
This lasted until Zhang Xin graduated from junior high school, and then she went to high school. Zhang Guodong bears half of the tuition fees for high school, and Zhang Meifang bears the other half. Although Zhou Jun was a little dissatisfied, seeing that Zhang Xin was so pitiful, he couldn't bear to make it more difficult for her. So, he finally agreed, but the displeasure in his heart did not completely dissipate.
However, as Zhang Xin entered high school, she found her situation even more difficult. Although she had been studying hard, her high school studies had caused her grades to begin to slip. In elementary and junior high school, Zhang Xin's grades have always been excellent, so even if everyone knows about her family, no one laughs at her. But when I got to high school, it got more complicated.
Zhang Xin has always been a very hard worker.
In the dormitory where she was, there were eight people, and Zhang Xin was always the one who got up early and slept the latest. Even when everyone else was gossiping and chatting, she was concentrating on her studies. However, the strange thing is that despite all the hard work, her grades have not been able to go up.
This made Zhang Xin gradually develop an inferiority complex. When she was in high school, her circle of friends was small, almost rare. In the past few years, Zhang Xin has been under tremendous pressure, and the whole person seems to be on the verge of depression.
It wasn't until his sophomore year of high school that Zhou Jun found Zhou Cheng a job in the county seat.
One day, Zhou Jun took Zhou Cheng and Zhang Xin out to eat together. At the dinner table, Zhou Jun told Zhou Cheng to take more care of Zhang Xin.
Zhou Cheng agreed with a smile. In retrospect, Zhou Cheng has been working in other places for three years, and Zhang Xin has met him only a handful of times during this period.
Facing Zhou Cheng's sincere smile, Zhang Xin's heart felt a burst of warmth. After all, they grew up together, so how big are the grievances and hatreds?
In other words, Zhang Xin has always been grateful to her aunt's family, including Zhou Cheng. Therefore, she thought that Zhou Cheng had long forgotten the quarrel when she was a child.
In the days that followed, Zhou Cheng often found Zhang Xin to eat with and brought her food, just like a big brother. This made Zhang Xin feel very happy, as if there was a little more light in the gloom of life.
Soon, the exams for the third year of high school are coming. Zhang Xin's pressure is even greater, and Zhou Cheng's company has become more frequent.
In the first monthly exam of the third year of high school, Zhang Xin's results were disappointing. According to that grade, she couldn't even get into the second book, so she could only choose to go to a junior college.
Thinking of her aunt's kindness to herself, Zhang Xin couldn't help but cry silently while holding the report card.
On that day, Zhou Cheng found Zhang Xin again. Looking at Zhang Xin's red and swollen eyes, Zhou Cheng asked her what was wrong.
Zhang Xin poured his anxiety on Zhou Cheng, like pouring beans. After hearing this, Zhou Cheng said indifferently: "I thought it was a big deal, didn't it just that I didn't do well in the exam?"Look at me, my grades have not been good since I was a child, and now I am doing well. ”
He said as he poured Zhang Xin a glass of wine. Afterwards, Zhou Cheng picked up the wine glass and said, "Come, how to solve your worries, only Du Kang." Have a drink and wake up with a good student. ”
That night, Zhang Xin drank a lot of beer. Until now, she can't remember when two more people came to Zhou Cheng's rental house.
When she woke up the next morning, Zhang Xin learned that she had been violated the night before. She felt ashamed and angry, but unable to do justice.
Zhang Xin, who was dressed, went to Zhou Cheng aggrievedly. However, when Zhou Cheng saw her, he acted as if nothing had happened: "You wake up, today is Saturday, you don't have to go to school." Whatever you want to eat, brother will take you there. I was sad last night, so what's so sad about not doing well in the exam?”
Zhou Cheng looked calm, as if he didn't know anything.
Zhang Xin was frightened and couldn't ask directly.
Just when Zhang Xin was helpless, Zhou Cheng suddenly said: "Last night, after you fell asleep, I had two friends come over, so I settled you in bed. The three of us drank a few more, and I ended up a little drunk. When I went out in the morning, all three of you were still asleep. When you woke up, didn't you notice them?”
Zhang Xin's heart was shocked.
She remembered that she had arranged the sheets for Zhou Cheng that night.
It was a deep humiliation for her, a secret that she couldn't confide in.
Many nights in the future, Zhang Xin would wake up.
In order to make herself sleep, she had to study harder, until she could fall asleep when she turned her head upside down.
This experience became an unspeakable secret for Zhang Xin.
After the end of her third year of high school, Zhang Xin was admitted to a university that was not bad.
College tuition is not easy due to rural families.
So, Zhang Meifang helped Zhang Xin apply for a student loan.
On the day she sent Zhang Xin to school, Zhang Meifang said to her: "Study hard, and you will be blessed in the future, don't count on your brother and me." ”
At the mention of Zhou Cheng, Zhang Xin couldn't help but get nervous.
That unbearable experience came back to her mind.
Zhang Xin tried to pretend to be calm and nodded.
Zhang Xin chose to study at university in Suzhou.
When she first arrived in Suzhou, she felt like she had walked into a strange world, and everything was so new.
After adapting to the school environment and life, Zhang Xin found a part-time job.
The first part-time income, she used to buy a cheongsam for her aunt.
Seeing her aunt wearing the cheongsam she bought, Zhang Xin's mood was like a spring full of flowers.
However, she never expected that the cheongsam would become the last gift for her aunt.
During the winter vacation of her freshman year, in order to save money and save more living expenses, Zhang Xin decided to stay in school.
However, at the beginning of the second semester, she received the sad news of her aunt's death.
On the car home, Zhang Xin's mind was full of good memories of her aunt.
As a child, she was often sick due to malnutrition, and every time her aunt was by her side. Every festival, my aunt would buy new clothes for Zhou Cheng, and Zhang Xin never fell behind.
She likes to eat her aunt's handmade cold skin, and although it is tedious to make, her aunt will make it for her whenever time allows.
The first time she experienced her menstrual period, Zhang Xin was terrified, and her aunt taught her how to use sanitary napkins in gentle language.
Due to the early development of her breasts, her aunt also bought suitable underwear for her early.
At that time, her aunt also told her: "Girls, anything can be bad, but underwear must be chosen well, otherwise it is easy to get sick." ”
However, Zhang Xin never expected that her aunt, who was only fifty years old, would pass away like this.
The day after I returned home, my aunt was buried.
After her aunt's funeral, everyone left, leaving only Zhang Xin alone.
An old woman walked up to Zhang Xin with concern and persuaded her to go home with her. The old woman said, "Come back with me, child, how terrible it is to be alone here at night." ”
Zhang Xin's hoarse voice responded: "My aunt is here, what do I have to be afraid of." ”
So, that night, Zhang Xin quietly stood in front of her aunt's grave.
The moonlight sprinkled on the earth, making the aunt's ** on the tombstone clearly visible, and the kind smile was still the same.
Because her aunt left in a hurry, she didn't leave a last word.
Since then, Zhang Xin has only returned home once a year during Qingming Festival.
For Zhang Xin, a home without her aunt is no longer a home.
During Qingming this year, Zhang Xin bought a bunch of things as usual and prepared to go home.
Before leaving, she checked the wine for her father, the clothes and shoes for her uncle, and the cigarettes and shoes for Zhou Cheng.
Looking at this pile of gifts, Zhang Xin felt empty in his heart. Now she has the ability to be good to everyone, but she can no longer be good to the person who once loved her the most.
In previous years, when she got off the bus, Zhang Xin always went to visit her aunt first.
But this year, because the things she brought were too heavy, she thought about letting go of her burden before going to see her aunt.
Because Zhang Guodong has been away from home for many years, the house has become a dilapidated house.
Zhang Xin walked straight to her aunt's house.
The acacia tree in front of her aunt's house has grown very tall, and Zhang Xin remembers that she planted it when she was in elementary school.
At that time, my aunt said that when this little tree grows up, Xinxin will be able to earn money.
Now that the tree is strong, she can earn money, but the man who planted the tree is gone.
Zhang Xin, who was a little tired from walking, wanted to rest under the tree for a while.
But as soon as she sat down, she heard conversation in the room behind the tree.
At that moment, Zhang Xin inadvertently knew the source of what happened in his junior year of high school.
It turned out that that person was none other than Zhou Cheng.
The people around didn't know what to say, but they only heard Zhou Cheng say: "She has been eating and drinking for nothing in my house for so many years, what's wrong with me sleeping." ”
Zhang Xin's heart tightened suddenly.
She remembered the helplessness and fear she had had.
So, Zhang Xin took out his mobile phone and recorded the conversation.
After the people in the room finished laughing, Zhang Xin angrily opened the door curtain.
The people in the room, including Zhou Cheng, were startled at first, and then said with a smile: "Xinxin is back." ”
Zhang Xin angrily told Zhou Cheng that she had heard what she had just said, and she recorded it, ready to call the police.
The person next to him hurriedly played a round and said, what do you have to say.
But Zhang Xin was already angry and refused to give up.
Seeing this, Zhou Cheng could only say indifferently.
Call the police, let the police take care of this, let me be arrested, and see if my mother can find peace in the dark.
In those years, was my mother's care for you all in vain?You're going to send her only good day to prison.
This time, Zhang Xin was silent.
Naturally, the aunt did not want to see her son in prison.
Zhang Xin, who was in a state of turmoil, did not go to worship her aunt, but went back to Suzhou by car.
During this time, Zhang Xin's heart was quite chaotic, and her friends around her were asking her what happened and why she was so depressed.
However, she really couldn't reveal to anyone what happened in her hometown.
She couldn't tell the secret she had heard in her hometown.
It is impossible to reveal what her cousin did to her.
Trigger the alarm, call the law enforcement to deal with the disturbance, see if I will face detention, and let my mother be in peace in the depths of the universe.
In those days, how could my mother's careful care be put into vain?You're going to give up her only happy days to prison.
This time, Zhang Xin fell into a deep silence.
Naturally, the aunt did not want to see her son in prison.
Zhang Xin, who was distraught, did not choose to pay tribute to her aunt, but drove straight back to Suzhou.
During this time, Zhang Xin's heart was in turmoil, and her friends around her were asking her what happened and why her emotions were so low.
However, it was difficult for her to tell anyone what was happening in her hometown.
She couldn't tell the secret she had learned in her hometown.
I can't talk about what my cousin did to her.