Gorman, Ph.D. in psychology from Harvard University, said
"Whether a person is successful or not, IQ accounts for only 20%, while EQ accounts for 80%. ”
Many parents feel that it is important to cultivate their children's IQ, and often unconsciously ignore the cultivation of emotional intelligence, but in fact, children who lack emotional intelligence will find it difficult to succeed no matter how prominent their IQ is.
Their future is even likely to lose a lot of opportunities and suffer a lot of blows.
1. Like to interrupt others
Children with low emotional intelligence are often eager to express themselves, ignoring the feelings of others and interrupting others at will. For example, when the elders are communicating, the child may encounter a little trouble while playing, so he may be anxious to get attention and interrupt the conversation of the elders at will.
Not interrupting others actually has little to do with age, it can be said that it is a matter of politeness, and children with low emotional intelligence like to interrupt others, which is actually a sign of disrespect.
2. Inability to control your emotions
Children with low emotional intelligence are often moody, especially in the nest.
For example, if an adult invites a neighbor's child of the same age to play at home, it may be very enjoyable at first, but at the slightest dispute, the child with low emotional intelligence may start to lose his temper, cry and make a fuss, and even kick out the friend who was invited to the house.
3. Don't pay attention to what you say
When children are very young, they may be easy to speak freely because they are not aware of their surroundings, but if they still do not pay attention to their words and deeds when they reach a certain age, it is likely to lead to disasters and hurt others and themselves.
Of course, many people may say that this is called straightness, but in fact, the main difference between straightforwardness and open-mouthed personality is that straightforwardness is to speak more straightforwardly on the basis of respecting people, while open-mouthed is to directly poke people's pain points regardless of the occasion.
If a person keeps his mouth open, not only will people feel that his emotional intelligence is low, but he may also be said by others that his cultivation is not enough.
4. Like to take other people's things as their own
As the saying goes, it's better to be alone than to be happy.
But some children are often reluctant to share their things with family and friends, while children with low emotional intelligence are not only reluctant to share, but also like to steal other people's things.
Like what; Children play with toys happily together, everyone takes out their toys for friends to play with, and children with low emotional intelligence are not only unwilling to take out their toys to play with everyone, but also selfishly snatch their friends' fun toys for themselves.
5. Unruly, unable to listen to the advice of others.
Such children often lack self-control and are prone to problems in following social order and interpersonal interactions.
If your child has these conditions, it is in some ways a sign of low emotional intelligence, and parents should not take it seriously.
Because a child's behavior from an early age often reflects what he looks like when he grows up and affects his life.
Emotional intelligence includes three major abilities: 1. the ability to perceive and express emotions; 2. The ability to understand one's emotions; 3. The ability to control one's emotions.
And to guide and improve the child's situation, it must also start from these aspects.
Let's take a look at what this Chenchen's mother does?
In the past few days, Chenchen's rhinitis has been committed, and he is coughing, and his mother won't let him play in the snow, and Chenchen has begun to cry.
Chenchen cried and said to his mother, "I really want to go outside and play in the snow for a while before going to school." ”
Mom continued to ask gently, "How sad are you?" Chenchen thought for a while: "I'm just sad and sad!" ”
At this time, the mother found that although the child was crying and talking, after he finished saying this, his crying was quieter.
Seeing that the time was almost up, my mother began to say, "It's really fun on a snowy day, and the snowflakes are beautiful, you want to play, don't you?" If it's me, I also like to play in the snow, throw a few snowballs, how fun! ”
The mother expressed the child's emotional feelings and empathized with the child, and the child had calmed down at this time.
Mom hasn't finished speaking: "Look outside the window, the children are not playing in the snow, and you are still coughing, playing in the snow is very cold, it will aggravate the cough, and if you don't do well, you will get injections, you always say that the injections hurt." ”
When Chenchen saw his mother say this, he was a little anxious, and his mouth pouted: "But I really want to play in the snow, it's so rare to snow." ”
Mom expressed understanding: "Yes, Mom knows that you like to play in the snow, otherwise let's go down to the first floor first, you stand in the snow, I'll take a few pictures of you**, and then we go to the basement and drive to school, okay?" ”
Chenchen's eyes lit up when he heard this, and he jumped up happily: "Okay, mom take a few more photos." ”
Of course, the mother happily agreed, and the mother and son saw a conflict, but in this way they got the perfect result.
Here, the mother does not start to reason because of the child's crying, because reasoning is useless to the child at this time. There is no serious criticism, the mother knows what kind of needs the child has, and what she has to do is to see the child's needs, express understanding, and then give negotiable suggestions.
It should be noted here thatDon't mention forbidden passwords such as "no, no, no", but empathize first, and then guide, which prevents the child from getting into the mood because of the mother's opposition. Thus there is a basis for communication.
In this story, we see the practice of high emotional intelligence of the child's mother. When children are young, they are a blank piece of paper, and it is the parents who fill in the colors on it.
Therefore, children's innate education is very important, and parents should cultivate their children's emotional intelligence from an early age.
If you want to improve your child's emotional intelligence, reading is a good choice to help your child improve their emotional intelligence while also developing good Xi.
Parents should start from the child's own choice and chooseBooks that match the child's interests, age, and personality traits, let children increase their emotional intelligence by reading stories, and parents can also take the opportunity to communicate with their childrenGuide children to think and learn
Here I recommend this set of "Children's Emotional Intelligence Cultivation", which is divided into five volumes, including several theme stories, to help children improve their emotional intelligence ability from different perspectives. For example, "Good Character", "Good Attitude" and so on. The theme is clear, the content is rich and interesting, which is very suitable for children to read, so that children can become emotionally intelligent people in the process of reading.
Cost-effective, I really have nothing to say,The thick five-book book is large enough and the content is super rich.
This set of Dangdang、A treasure sells crazy concentration game books in generalSold for 138 yuan, but now there are five whole books, only99.9 yuan, which is a feedback powder with no profit margin