I've heard the saying, "Most people who like to hoard things are not wealthy." ”
In "Breaking Away", it is believed that the attitude towards objects is actually the value of your life.
If you want to break out of the shell and grow, you need to make up your mind and do a good job of breaking off three times.
1 The first time: Break with your past self
It is often assumed that "saving" equals "not wasting".
"Don't waste" is the same as "don't lose things".
However, because of reluctance, things accumulate more and more.
And whenever it's time to clean up, you're attached to every item.
With excuses such as "it still works", "it was expensive when I bought it at the time", etc., so that I can't let go.
"Breaking Away" believes that every thing you are reluctant to discard actually contains your feelings for it.
What you are reluctant to discard is actually your obsession.
There is an aunt in England who likes to hoard dolls.
Entering her home, you'll be amazed to find a house full of dolls and clutter.
Aunt Su's husband said that her Xi of hoarding dolls has been going on for eight years.
The family is on the verge of collapse, and the relationship between husband and wife is in jeopardy.
In fact, Aunt Su also wanted to clean up the doll, but she was reluctant to throw it away.
And the reason turned out to be because when she was a child, her mother forcibly threw away her doll.
Because of her mother's unintentional action when she was a child, Aunt Su persistently used eight years to compensate herself ruthlessly.
She is not compensating for the needs of the present, but for the self of the past.
Aunt Su was tied to death by her own obsession and couldn't move.
Constantly living in the grief of losing the baby in the past, and turning a blind eye to the happy life of the present.
It's painful to be cut off from your past self.
But forever living in the past, living in obsession, will never be able to achieve happiness.
Schopenhauer said, "No one lives in the past, and no one lives in the future, the present is the only form in which life really possesses." ”
Whether the past is beautiful or painful, only the present is yours.
If you don't let go of the past, how can you leave empty seats for the future?
Only by letting go of obsession and letting go of oneself can we embrace a better future.
2 The second time: to break with one's cowardly self
If reluctance is obsession, then stuffing items into the cabinet is not brave enough.
Miss Yoko in "Breaking Away" has a shrewd and capable appearance.
But her home is full of sealed cardboard boxes and a mess.
The cardboard box contained materials on her work, as well as occult books that fascinated her.
She sealed the clutter so that she could not see it, as if it didn't exist.
Coincidentally, Miss Yoko's life is the same as her storage Xi, and they are "secrets that cannot be said".
She dates people who are not married.
She was reluctant to break off relations with married people, thinking that as long as she couldn't see it, her secret could be hidden forever.
That's the cowardly self being afraid.
She is afraid to face loneliness, afraid to face separation, afraid to change the status quo.
She knew she wasn't happy and that it wasn't the best option.
But she chooses to run away, and escaping will never solve the problem.
Maugham said: "If a man falls into the water, it doesn't matter whether he swims well or not, he has to fight out anyway, or he will drown." ”
If you think that you can change your fate by turning a blind eye to difficulties, it will only make you a quagmire.
Zhang Haidi said: "Even if you fall a hundred times, you have to get up one hundred and one times. ”
Not being able to see does not mean that it does not exist, shrinking into one's own protective shell and not daring to face the future is a manifestation of cowardice.
Only by bravely defeating one's cowardly self again and again can one be reborn.
3 The third time: Break with your inferior self
When we are brave enough to open that dusty memory, see the difficulties, and solve the difficulties, we may fall into another trap.
That's overexertion.
As the saying goes, it's too much.
There is a special example in "Breaking Away".
Miss Junko is practicing renunciation and has lost a lot of things, but she is unwilling to discard all kinds of feng shui lucky ornaments.
These things are so full that they affect cleaning and walking.
This overabundance of hoarding is her deep fear for the future.
One day, Miss Junko suddenly realizes that she actually thinks that she can't seize opportunities and luck without relying on ornaments.
She doesn't believe she has what it takes to control the future.
So, when she faced a difficult situation, she chose to support her vulnerability with a full load.
But this will only make me more and more powerless.
In fact, she is not incompetent, but inferiority, fear, and insecurity.
Bi Shumin said: "It is not terrible for inferiority to appear, as long as you put inferiority on the table, find the cause and manifestation of inferiority, and face it calmly, inferiority will become a paper tiger, and it will be broken when you poke it." ”
One of Eiko Yamashita's students, Ms. Yuri, has a half-paralyzed husband.
Three years ago, she liked to hoard a lot of food and goods, but in the end, her husband didn't even have a place to push a wheelchair around.
Three years later, after facing her current situation again and again, she made up her mind to clean up.
When she opened the refrigerator, she found that many of the food products had long since gone bad.
She also began to face up to her home and husband, took the initiative to give up, and began to enjoy a "comfortable life".
Now, he can move around the house with a wheelchair and offers to do ** training.
In the past, Ms. Yuri was afraid that she would not be able to take care of the family because of her husband.
Now she can decisively face herself, her family, and the future, and she can also influence the people around her to change together.
When you fill your world with external objects, you no longer have room to grow upwards.
Because you have decided that you are powerless.
Napoleon said: "There are not enough people to rely on, and you can only survive on your own." ”
Only by getting rid of your inferior self and believing in yourself can you rebuild your self-confidence.
Write at the end
Addicted to the past, unable to extricate themselves, unable to accept the status quo, and unable to grow.
I desperately want to change the status quo and want to break through the circle and grow, but I don't know the essentials.
Pushing too hard, living a busy and blind life every day, unable to see the future clearly.
Then please be brave enough to discard the past, face the current situation, stop self-denial, and re-nourish yourself.
There is a sentence in "Breaking Away": "The things that are powerless should be decided, the people who have no fate in life should be given up, and the troubles and obsessions in the heart should be left." ”
Let go of the obsession that should be released, change the cowardice of timidity, and face the inferiority complex of the past.
Reorganize your life and re-nurture yourself.
Enjoy the freedom to let go, the freedom to keep, and the freedom to choose.
Believe in yourself and you are qualified to imagine a bright future.