Haruki Murakami said, "I can't even love myself. Why can't you love yourself?It's because you can't love others. One needs to love someone and be loved by someone to learn how to love Xi oneself. Do you see what I mean?It is impossible for a person who does not love others to love himself correctly".
See?It is impossible for a person who does not love others to love himself correctly".
In the same way, people who don't love themselves, they don't love others, and people who don't love themselves often don't get true love.
Everyone longs for beautiful love, but how to get love is a thing that most people are very confused about.
We often hear that it only takes seven or eight points to love others, and the remaining three points to love ourselves.
I understand the truth, but many people still can't manage love well.
No, I recently received a case:
Ali broke up with her boyfriend who had been dating for more than a year, and it was very painful, she said that she cried when she thought of each other during the day, and she cried for several days in a row, and she couldn't sleep at night, or she woke up in the middle of the night.
She said: We just had a fight, why did he ignore me so ruthlessly, saying that we were still separated well, why is this?
I said that the quarrel was just the fuse, and your contradictions may have already existed, but they didn't realize it to each other, and the quarrel was just a concentrated outbreak of contradictions.
People are often good when everything is good.
Once there is a small contradiction, it will be put on the line, or the old things of Chen Sesame and Messy Grain will be turned out and counted.
When they quarrel, they don't have a good tone, and they can rush out any vicious words, completely ignoring the feelings of the other party.
It is said that home is a place of love, not a place of reason.
However, many people are Xi to reasoning when managing love, and they have to distinguish who is right and who is wrong.
There are contradictions in love, and the reason is that everyone doesn't love themselves.
You can't even love yourself, how can you love each other, you can love each other?
In love, there are only two situations, either one party is strong, you have to dominate the relationship, you have to say everything, and you have to listen to the other party in everything, can this kind of love be happy?Can it last?
There is also a situation that is desperately pleasing or performing, in order to get the other party's care, if the other party shows that they don't care, they feel wronged and hurt, isn't this kind of love tiring?Is it true love?
These are all manifestations of lack of love, and they are also all manifestations of not loving themselves.
Because they don't love themselves, they can't treat themselves and each other properly in the relationship between the sexes.
Controlling the other party is nothing more than wanting to gain the other party's approval of yourself.
Why do you have to be recognized by the other party, it is because you have lost your life, you have no self, and you want to gain a sense of security and satisfaction through the recognition of the other party.
If you can't control each other, or can't get the other party's approval, you desperately want to grab it, so that each other is tired and consumed.
My dear, learn to love yourself before you love others, otherwise you will grab each other and hurt each other.
So how do you love yourself?
First and foremost, loving yourself means giving full attention and care to your physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects.
We should respect our feelings, care about our needs, and strive to meet them.
When you pay attention to yourself, you will pay attention to the physical condition, emotional needs, and spiritual needs of others.
Secondly, when we encounter setbacks or difficulties, we should calmly analyze the problem and learn to solve the problem by ourselves.
It's not like we just want to find someone to help us share the burden.
Solve it yourself first, and then ask for help if you can't solve it.
If we always hope that others will help us solve problems, over time we will become Xi to relying on others, weakening our ability to face ourselves alone and face difficulties alone.
Once we can't rely on it, we often have grievances and resentments, how can you say that such feelings can be good?
If you want to be happy, you must first learn to love yourself.
For the rest of our lives, may we all harvest sweet and warm love. Love