Cute baby cute pet happy creation season
The quality of a child's grades is only temporary, as long as you master efficient learning methods, you can always improve.
Only by cultivating children's self-management ability can they thoroughly learn and live badly.
From a psychological point of view, the three major factors that affect internal motivation are: ability, autonomy, and belonging.
In the process of raising children, it is the child who believes that he has the ability to do it, the child wants to do it independently, and the parents believe that the child can do it, and give support and affirmation.
Many parents yell, scold and humiliate their children when they help their children with homework, saying that their children are not reading material and are stupid.
This will frustrate children's enthusiasm for learning, and long-term belittlement, ridicule and suppression, children are prone to doubt their self-worth, even if they work hard only to gain the approval of others. Unable to adapt to change and prone to anxiety.
Only when children believe that they can do it, and with this sense of power, they will have enough courage to do it, so they will be more self-disciplined.
Some people will say that the child is too skinny, and he doesn't listen to the preaching, and he can only be obedient by hitting him a few times and scolding him a few times.
I even heard a young mother proudly say: "I often teach my son, but my son still likes to stick to me, you see, now he is more obedient, and he no longer dares to be skinny". ”
Yes, no matter how your children scold and beat, they will still reconcile with us.
That's not because of how effective the scolding education method is, but because children love their parents more than we love children.
However, excessive control and punishment of the child, the child succumbed on the surface, but was terrified inside.
Simple. Nelson once mentioned in "Positive Discipline" that children who are severely disciplined or punished will have 4 R reactions, which are resentment, revenge, rebellion and retreat.
Those children who have been beaten and scolded since childhood cannot feel the love of their parents in their hearts, without the nourishment of love, they are more likely to be angry and angry when they grow up, unwilling to face failure, and easy to avoid problems.
A good word is warm in three winters, and a bad word is cold in June.
Parents' positive language can awaken the strength in the child's heart, which determines the child's mind and height in the future.
I once saw such a story: a black taxi driver carried a white mother and son, and the child asked his mother: "Why is the driver's uncle's ** different from ours?".”
The mother smiled and replied, "Because God wants to make the world colorful, He created people of different colors." ”
When it came to the destination, the black driver was adamant that he would not take the money.
"When I was a child, I asked my mother the same question, but she said we were black and doomed to be inferior," he said. If she.
In other words, today I could be a different me.
The recognition of self-worth is the basic premise of mental health and the foundation for cultivating self-discipline, which is directly related to the love of parents.
Laziness is human nature, and for children whose learning motivation is not clear, the ability to learn independently is not high.
Therefore, it is normal for them to procrastinate and not want to complete their homework, and they need their parents to set goals and supervise them at all times.
Yi Yang Qianxi's mother enrolled in various art training classes when Qianxi was 2 years old to cultivate his interests and basic skills.
Weekly. 2. Week.
3. On Thursdays, the mother and son will take a two-hour bus ride and then three subway transfers to the dance studio.
Every time she learns a new move, her mother will take notes carefully, and then repeat it to Yi Yang Qianxi when she gets home, and she will be proficient in dancing.
On weekends, my mother would get up at 6 o'clock and take Yi Yang Qianxi to Changping Children's Palace for class.
Wind or rain, all year round.
Behind this ruthlessness is the mother's pattern and vision.
The young Yi Yang Qianxi also complained when the pressure was at its highest: "I don't want to do it now."
Mom gave him a reason to keep going: "Because you want to be a different person." ”
The accumulation and persistence day after day, so there is now this teenager who is good at singing and dancing, superb acting skills, and extremely self-disciplined.
When filming the MV, he can practice until 3 a.m. for a perfect backflip, even if he hurts his leg and has a cramp in his foot, until he is satisfied.
Wu Zhibao, a farmer in Shaanxi, went home to work as a farmer after only one year of study, while his wife did not read a day, and four of their five children went to Tsinghua University and Peking University.
Their secret to raising children is inseparable from words and deeds.
When the couple was young, they suffered from being uneducated, and they made up their minds to let their children study and change their fate through knowledge.
Because they need to do farm work, Wu Zhibao and his wife often wake up. Every day, as soon as they hear their parents getting up, the children get up and start reading.
The couple never beat and scolded the child, and whenever the child was not serious about studying, they let the child work in the field with him.
The child was young and couldn't bear the hardships of the land, so he decided to go back to study obediently. The five brothers and sisters are chasing after me and making progress together in their studies.
Countless facts have also proved it:
Some things that may seem mundane at the moment have become classics of life over the years.
When the time comes, we will eventually find that children who are self-disciplined and those who are not self-disciplined lead completely different lives.
Forward-looking parents know how to lead by example, cultivate good habits in their children from an early age, and set rules for their children in a firm and kind atmosphere.
On the other hand, the current fancy chicken baby can't actually alleviate the anxiety of parents, and it is the child who suffers in the end.
Regarding delayed gratification, Stanford University has a famous "marshmallow" experiment.
Two groups of students participated in the experiment, the first group of students, each of whom was given a marshmallow so that they could eat it at any timeThe second group of students told them that if they don't eat it now, they will eat it when the teacher comes back, and the teacher will reward them with another marshmallow.
As a result, many children couldn't stand the marshmallows, and before the teacher came back, they ate the candy in their hands;The students who insisted on waiting until the teacher came back were rewarded by the teacher, and their happiness was stronger than that of other students.
Facts have proved that the students who can withstand the ** and persist to the end have better psychological endurance than other students. They are full of expectations for the future, believing that even if they endure the "pain" in front of them, they are willing to exchange for greater happiness in the future.
Delayed gratification refers to the forgoing of instant gratification for the sake of a more valuable long-term outcome, and the ability to exercise self-control while waiting.
This ability needs to be acquired through proper training, and parents can let their children finish their homework before watching TV, and cultivate the principle of "bitter before sweet" and internalize this principle as a habit.
Final addition:
Every child has their own value, and parents respect, recognize, and trust their children from the bottom of their hearts will help cultivate their recognition of their self-worth.
I am born to be useful, and this self-confidence must be cultivated from an early age, because this is the foundation for children to develop self-discipline.