I'm 38 years old, and I'm at the age of talking about marriage. I met a girl who caught my crush and our relationship gradually warmed up, and I decided to move on to the next stage and plan to buy a house and get married. However, my decision sparked a series of conflicts that eventually led to the breakdown of our relationship.
I made a request to my girlfriend that I wanted her family to make half of the down payment to buy the house. I see it as a fair way to share the burden and an important step in our collective planning for the future. This question sparked a heated quarrel.
My girlfriend thinks I should be responsible for buying the house myself and not rely on her family for support.
She felt that it was the man's responsibility, and that her family was not wealthy enough to bear such a burden. We have a big disagreement on this issue.
Me: Honey, I hope we can share the responsibility of buying a house, can you afford to make half of the down payment?This way we can plan for the future together.
Girlfriend: I think it's the man's responsibility to buy a house, and my family is not very financially well-off and can't afford such a burden.
Me: But I think we should share that responsibility, it's something we all do.
Girlfriend: You are the man, and you should take more responsibility. And, the name of the house should also be just your name.
Me: I wanted the name of the house to be named after both of us, so that it would show our shared determination and responsibility.
Girlfriend's mother: At your age, you might as well be a single. Buying a house should be the man's responsibility, and you should not rely on the support of the woman's family.
Me: I understand your point, but I don't think age should be an obstacle to our love. I hope we can work together to create a better future.
Girlfriend's Mom: You're asking for too much!I can't allow my daughter to go down with you.
Me: I'm sorry I didn't take into account your views and positions. I regret that my decision has caused so much conflict in our relationship. I really regret it.
Girlfriend: I also feel like there's a big disagreement between us. Perhaps we should think about our future.
As the argument escalated, we began to argue over more details. One of the questions is who should be called by the name of the house. I would like to add the names of both men to show our shared commitment and responsibility. However, my girlfriend thought that only my name should be added because she thought I was the main person responsible for buying the house.
These arguments weren't just limited to the two of us, my girlfriend's mom joined the fight. She thinks I'm so old that I might as well not get married. She believes that I should solve the problem of buying a house independently and not rely on the support of the woman's family. This makes the whole situation more complicated and tense.
In the process, I began to feel regret and self-blame.
I regret that my request has caused so much contradiction and conflict in our relationship. I regret not understanding my girlfriend and her family's perspectives and positions better. I realized that the age difference and money issues became a huge barrier between us.
We used to love each other so much, she was the good girl in my heart, and I lost her because of my own impulses. I felt deep remorse and endless remorse. I realized that I really deserved it, because I didn't cherish the happiness in front of me and pushed it to the brink of collapse.
Although I regret it a lot, I also understand that I can't find a well-behaved girl like her on a blind date. I deeply felt the pain and regret of loss. I realized that age is just a number, and what really matters is the love and understanding between us.
Now I can only silently reflect on my mistakes and hope that she can find the happiness that truly belongs to hers. I hope she will forgive me for my selfish choice, even though I know it may be a luxury.