Everyone has things on their minds that we have to deal with: unsatisfactory work, bad moods, people we don't like, ......
How to deal with these things has a direct impact on our lives, for example: if you choose to suppress, ignore, distort, etc., you will let your life sink into ruin.
Someone said, "Life can't be as good as you think, and it's not as bad as you think." People are fragile and strong beyond their imagination, sometimes I may be fragile and tearful at a word, and sometimes I find myself gritting my teeth and walking a long way. ”
We need to be strong, to reconcile with ourselves, with a reality that cannot be changed.
As Romain Rolland once said: There is only one kind of heroism in the world, that is, to recognize the truth of life and still love life.
Man is to perfect himself.
01. A person's biggest internal friction is that he refuses to let go of himself
The psychological explanation of "internal friction" is that people need to consume psychological resources when managing themselves, and when resources are insufficient, people will be in a state of internal friction, which will make people feel tired for a long time.
People with internal friction are always afraid that the other party will leave them when they are in love;When I get along with people, I always worry that I will say the wrong thing;And always deny yourself in life, thinking that you are not good enough. Anxiety, fear, and self-blame surround them.
In "Over the Mountain in My Heart", Marina was abandoned by her parents since she was a child, and the difficulty of life can be imagined, but the difficulties did not break her, and she became a dancer with her own efforts.
However, the shadow of being abandoned by her parents has left a scar on her heart, and she is always worried that others will leave her. As a result, one day, her boyfriend left her.
Later, she got married, but she didn't get along well with her husband because she was very competitive. Sometimes her husband complains about her, and she quarrels with him. Finally, their relationship as husband and wife is on the verge of breaking down.
Psychologist Yu Deji said: There are challenges in life all the time, and the challenges themselves will not bring pain, and the internal friction caused by self-struggle is the source of pain.
Some people keep themselves in a state of anxiety on a daily basis and put pressure on themselves. In fact, this is to make trouble for ourselves, and if there is too much trouble, we will be unhappy. And if you let yourself go properly, you will be happy.
Don't be too entangled in yourself, you have to let go of yourself, if you don't let go of yourself, you won't be able to feel the tranquility of your heart and the beauty of the world.
02. Not competing in case of trouble is the real pattern
There are many painful things in life, and it is not necessary to figure out everything, because some things are just not clear, and it is not really nothing, but if you always look at it with a magnifying glass, it will magnify the suffering.
Instead of complaining about the darkness, it is better to carry the lantern forward, bravely pursue some goals you want, some things and people are not worth our sinking. And what we have to do is live a frank and unrestrained life.
* Spencer, the author of Who Moved My Cheese, has a friend whose name is Charlie. Charlie is an excellent track and field host on a radio station, and this work has brought him a lot of fame and benefits, and he is very satisfied.
But one day, his boss approached him and told him that the next Olympics would not broadcast athletics, but swimming and diving. Charlie, who didn't know much about swimming and diving, began to struggle and approached the leader to complain about it, and the leader suspended him because he was not satisfied with his attitude.
For this reason, Charlie, who was depressed, approached Spencer and asked him to give an idea. As a result, Spencer told him the story of cheese. After Charlie listened, he was full of ambition and started to work hard to learn Xi swimming and diving knowledge, but the hard work paid off, Charlie succeeded, he was hired back by the leader again, and Charlie once again reached the peak of his career.
I have read a saying: At all times, we are the makers of pain and the only terminators. You are your own master. If you persist in making things difficult for yourself, you will only make your life wither.
Too much care, let's forget the happiness we have;Too much scheming has disturbed our firm path. If people are caught up in calculations, they will lose their original self and break the beauty of the future.
The world is safe and perfect, and it lives up to its promise. All the shackles of life are that you are too competitive with yourself.
People should not compete with themselves, save their energy, save together, work hard in the right direction, and realize the value of their lives.
03. People must learn to reconcile with themselves in their lives
The reason why we are worried is because we think too much and cannot return to the present life, so we cannot feel the beauty of life. On the contrary, he has been in a state of unfounded worry for a long time, unable to extricate himself.
In fact, as long as everyone works hard and believes that they can achieve the goal they want with their own efforts, they can get out of the predicament and fight for the life they want.
Xu Zhimo had three women in his life, Lin Huiyin, Lu Xiaoman and Zhang Youyi. Zhang Youyi is Xu Zhimo's married couple, but Xu Zhimo would rather fall in love with other women than love Zhang Youyi, and even hate her.
On the wedding night, Xu Zhimo did not enter his cave room, and only then did he and Zhang Youyi become husband and wife in order to pass on the ancestry. Soon after marriage, Xu Zhimo went abroad to study. When he was studying abroad, he met Lin Huiyin and Lu Xiaoman.
Zhang Youyi came to London because she was worried about him, but when she saw him with other women, Zhang Youyi was very sad. She asked Xu Zhimo to change his mind, but Xu Zhimo refused, and ordered Zhang Youyi to beat the child in her belly. Facing the man in front of him who was crazy because of love, Zhang Youyi beat her child. The two divorced.
After the divorce, Zhang Youyi did not sink, but quickly studied Xi and was admitted to university. Eventually, Zhang Youyi exploded her abilities, founded a clothing company, and became a vice president of a bank.
Later, Xu Zhimo's plane crashed, Lu Xiaoman did not come to collect the body, but Zhang Youyi took care of the funeral for her, and she did not stand by coldly. Talking about Xu Zhimo, Zhang Youyi said: "I want to thank Xu Zhimo for the divorce, if it weren't for the divorce, I might never have been able to find myself and have no way to grow."
The years have smoothed out Zhang Youyi's sores, and because she relieved her former unwillingness, she had the possibility of later, allowing her to walk more proudly.
Yishu said in "Star Fragments": "No matter what, a person is always unforgivable for falling for some reason, and the more no one loves, the more you must love yourself." ”
In life, when encountering bitterness, we must know how to let go of ourselves;When encountering ups and downs, you must know how to encourage yourself;When you encounter mistakes, you must know how to tolerate yourself;When you encounter anything, you must first reconcile with yourself.
Life kisses me with pain, and I want to repay it with a song.
In a person's life, whoever loves you is not as good as loving yourself, and shaking hands with the joys, sorrows, and sorrows in life can capture the happiness in life.
04, Eger wrote in "Over the Mountain in My Heart": "My dear, I wish you can also choose the cage from which you can escape and set yourself free;May you turn those pains into important lessons for life;May you also choose what kind of legacy of life you leave to future generations – you can pass on the pain and, of course, the gifts. ”
Learn to grow in suffering, mature in setbacks, don't get along with yourself, because it's not worth it, but become your own guardian and keep everything you have.
It's like a ship sailing in the sea and encountering a storm, only if you can withstand all this, you can reach the other side.
*Originated from the Internet invasion and deletion.