As a freshman, I moved into this six-person suite. This is an old dormitory building, and the tiles on the walls are a little peeling, but the room is quite tidy. My top bunk is a fair-skinned girl, delicate and beautiful, and looks very quiet.
And my name is Wang Xiaomei, and I am a more lively and cheerful girl. Although Sisi didn't pay much attention to me, I still talked to her often, hoping that we could become friends.
A month after school started, I got a boyfriend. His name is Xiaojie, he is a computer major, he is very handsome, and he is a sunny and cheerful boy. One day, Xiaojie came to the dormitory to play with me. I excitedly said to Sisi: "Sisi, this is my boyfriend Xiaojie, isn't he very handsome?."”
Sisi glanced up, didn't speak, and lowered her head to play with her phone. I pulled Xiaojie to sit down on the edge of the bed and chatted and laughed with him. Xiaojie saw that it was not too early, so he asked me, "Can I spend the night in your dormitory?"I couldn't think of any reason to refuse, so I said, "Of course!"”
Sisi finally couldn't help it, she turned over and sat up, her tone was a little excited: "Can I not look ugly?"Your boyfriend sleeps in our dormitory every day, you talk and laugh, I can't sleep well in the upper bunk!I've slept lame for several days in a row, and my Xi efficiency has dropped, do you think I can be happy?”
After I confessed the situation to Xiaojie, he was very understanding: "I should really be considerate of your roommate's feelings, and I can't always sleep in your dormitory." We've only just known each other, so we shouldn't be moving too fast. In the future, I will be careful and leave your roommate's private space. ”
I think Xiaojie is very thoughtful and not a person who only cares about himself. I decided that I wouldn't bring Xiaojie to the dormitory for a date in the future, and we could go around the campus to get to know each other better and develop a relationship. I can't sacrifice my roommate's feelings just because I'm too happy.
After losing my temper, I was also a little embarrassed, after all, Xiaomei just invited her boyfriend to the dormitory, and there was no other excessive behavior. It's just that her actions did affect me.
Actually, I am an insecure person, my parents did not have a good relationship when I was a child, and I longed for a warm home, but it was difficult to get it. When I came to university, the dormitory was my little home. I don't want this space to be disturbed, and I don't want to face different strangers every day.
I'm worried that if I tolerate it once, Xiaomei's boyfriend will come to the dormitory more and more frequently in the future, and the pressure will become more and more intense. I know I'm a bit autistic and sensitive, but I really want to be relaxed in the dorm. That's why I'm always in the library, preferring to be less in the dorm.
Actually, I shouldn't lose my temper in front of Xiaomei, I should communicate my thoughts with her calmly, instead of yelling directly. I decided to talk to Xiaomei, and we should be able to reach a consensus. After all, I have to live for a semester in the future, and if the relationship is tense, it will not be good for everyone.
Just when I made up my mind to communicate with Xiao Meihao, something happened that made me very unhappy again. One night, I was studying late in the dormitory Xi.
At about one o'clock in the morning, the sound of Mei and her boyfriend talking made me unable to concentrate again. I had no choice but to take off my headphones and say, "Excuse me, can you be quieter?"I'm Xi, it's too loud. Unexpectedly, Xiaomei asked me: "It's early in the morning, you don't sleep, you have to study until Xi late, what does it matter to us?"We prefer to speak loudly, not in the classroom, as loud as we want!”
As soon as I heard this, I got angry: "I'm studying hard for Xi the final exam, and you can't just ignore other people's feelings just because you're in a relationship, right?.""It's still early for the exam, so you don't need to start Xi now, right?"You're too nervous, aren't you?Xiaomei said disapprerovingly.
Hearing this, I couldn't hold back any longer, put down the book and jumped out of bed directly, pointed at Xiaomei and said, "Wang Xiaomei, you are too selfish!".It's a public place, not your bedroom!You always think about being happy, and you never think about other people's feelings!”
Am I selfish?I'm just having a normal relationship with my boyfriend, is it necessary to be so excited?Xiaomei also raised her voice. "If you have a normal relationship, you will take someone back to the dormitory every day for the night?You talk loudly at night and affect other people's rest, so let him come to live at least ask for my permission, right?”
I couldn't help but feel all the dissatisfaction in my heart erupt. "What do you have to do with me having a boyfriend?I can bring back whoever I want from my dorm!Xiaomei was very unhappy. The more the two talked, the more excited they became, Xiaojie was so angry by the two of us that he had to get up and said, "You guys calm down first, I'll come to Xiaomei tomorrow, and I'll go back to the dormitory to sleep tonight." ”
After Xiaojie left, the dormitory became quiet. Sisi and I were still angry, turning our backs to each other and not talking. After a while, I calmed down and thought about it, and felt that what Sisi said made sense, and I really went too far and didn't take into account her feelings. "Sisi, I'm sorry, I was wrong. ”
I turned around and said sincerely, "I shouldn't just bring my boyfriend to the dorm room, and I shouldn't be noisy at night to interfere with your rest." I'll pay attention later. Sisi nodded silently, and her face finally softened.
Hearing Xiaomei's apology, my emotions gradually calmed down. After thinking about it calmly, I realized that I also had a problem. I shouldn't have kept the pressure building up and exploded, I should have communicated my thoughts to Mei in a timely but peaceful manner, instead of yelling.
I think I may have been affected too much by some bad experiences in the past to be so sensitive and anxious about environmental changes. I need to learn to let go of those memories and be more open-minded in the present.
I reflect on myself that I may have been too reckless and selfish. The pink bubble that had just been born in love blinded my thinking, and I only cared about my own happiness and ignored my roommate's feelings.
In fact, I should develop a relationship slowly and consider whether to bring my boyfriend back to the dormitory after a while. I shouldn't have made decisions that might make my roommate uncomfortable. I will think more carefully in the future, because one person's happiness cannot be built on the pain of others. I need to mature and learn to be considerate of others.
After reflection and communication, Sisi and I finally opened our hearts and had a frank chat. We decided to bring our friends of the opposite sex back to the dorm no more than twice a month, and we had to give each other a week's notice. If we do need more than that, we will discuss and find a mutually acceptable way.
Regarding the evening, we also agreed on indoor times to be quiet and not disturb others. If you have to be active at night, try to control the volume or go to a common area. After we understood each other, the atmosphere eased. I was relieved to see Sisi have a smile on her face as well. I believe that by understanding and giving each other, we will be good roommates.
Since then, my relationship with Sisi has become much better. Sisi will listen patiently when I am worried, and I will encourage her to participate in roommate activities more.
At the end of the month, when the roommates gather, Sisi will also actively participate, not a person who suddenly disappears. Now our dormitory is like a big family, and everyone feels warm and relaxed. These days have made me deeply realize that getting along requires a lot of tolerance, understanding and regression. Sisi and I have grown a lot and become close friends. Whenever I look back on my university life in the future, the bits and pieces here will be my most precious memories.