It was said that last Sunday night, according to the agreement with the doctor, my daughter should go to a follow-up visit on Monday. When it was time to go to bed, my daughter was very excited to play games with a group of friends, smiling like flowers, shouting and laughing.
I reminded my daughter that it was time to go to bed. My daughter said she couldn't sleep and asked me to sleep first.
At this time, I was a little worried and angry, what should I do if my daughter can't get out of bed tomorrow morning?Pretending to be in your heart has some things that affect your sleep.
I was woken up by a ringtone on my mobile phone just after two o'clock in the middle of the night. It was my younger brother who called, saying that my little niece had a high fever of 40 degrees, and asked me what to do?I found out that my daughter was still playing games in the study, and I angrily asked her how she arranged itMy daughter said I'd go back next week. Let me not worry, the medicine is enough, just observe the reaction to the medication. I said that's just right, and I'll take my little niece to the emergency room right away.
I went to the hospital for a check-up, and it was much worse than expected. The doctor said that the infection of both lungs, of which one-third of the right lung is infected, and the pneumonia is a more serious condition of pneumonia, and it is likely that white lung will occur if it is delayed for two or three days.
Hearing the white lung, my brother and I turned white with fright.
The doctor said that there are too many sick children during this time, and they need to make an appointment to be hospitalized, and they are likely not to be admitted to the hospital tomorrow. If you can't be admitted to the hospital, you can only have an outpatient infusion first, and you must not delay any longer. Because my brother had to go to work the next day, I asked him to go home and rest first. I settled my seven-year-old niece in a chair in the empty hall and went to the inpatient department to make an appointment for a bed. After that, I asked her to put on a small blanket and sleep on top of me.
Luckily, I was finally hospitalized.
But life's troubles are always one after another. Sure enough, life is practice, and everywhere is the dojo.
Another worry is what to do with my daughterShe was too timid to live alone at home. She didn't like her cousin and was worried that her cousin would take away her mother's love. She complained angrily more than once, saying that her cousin seriously affected her mood, would aggravate her condition, and even shorten her life, and strongly demanded that her cousin be expelled. Once she expressed her worry to me: "Mom, I am so uncompetitive and unproductive, will you one day despair of me, dislike me, and turn your head to like your cousin?"”
It turns out that behind the seemingly fang-dancing, willful, and lawless expressions of her daughter, there is a deep panic, helplessness, and fear, but it is a desire and confirmation of her mother's love.
I thought about it and decided to give a sublime meaning to the suffering that my daughter was going to endure. The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said: "If a man knows what he lives for, then he can endure any kind of life, even a hard one." "I sent my daughter a WeChat message and praised her as my cousin's lifesaver!The daughter had a question mark on her face and asked whyI said that I was glad that she had temporarily revised her travel plans, and sure enough, everything happened in the best arrangement. Otherwise, my uncle and aunt would go to work, and no one would have thought that my cousin's condition would be so serious, and she would have become a white lung, and her life would be difficult to protect. My daughter said in a loud voice that it was terrible, let us pay attention to it and hurry up**. I took the opportunity to express that the doctor let me stay in the hospital for about a week. My daughter said let's go to the hospital, I can take care of myself alone.
One more trouble was solved, and I breathed a sigh of relief in my heart again.
During this period, my daughter will call ** every day to care about her cousin, is it better?How's it going?Is there any danger?He said that he was fine at home, free and happy. Although it is indeed a little scary to sleep alone, it is possible to sleep peacefully by turning on all the lights, with bright lights and accompanied by a cat and a dog. I complimented her on being braver than her mother.
Here's a big thumbs up for my daughter. Because my daughter loves me so much, she didn't try to kidnap me with guilt at all. In the same situation, I am likely to express my own difficulty, intentionally or unintentionally making my daughter feel guilty, so as to achieve the purpose of control.
After five days in the hospital, I was finally discharged.
I entered the house with a tired body, and the messy room diluted my gratitude to my daughter a lot. The kitchen sink is stacked with old high bowls, full of garbage cans, puppy shredded paper, the dog toilet full of urine emitting a foul smell, when I see two pieces of poop on the sofa (the puppy treats nausea as fun, the boss is not small, and plays with his own poop, or the cat's poop as a toy, if it is not cleaned up in time, it will be chattering everywhere, beaten n times or repeatedly taught), my anger value finally exploded, I frowned, accusing my daughter of being a waste product produced by her mother. The daughter angrily shot back and said, "You're the scrap, your whole family is scrap!".Then he turned around angrily and went back to his room.
I regretted it when I said that. But at the moment, I really don't have the ability to communicate nonviolently, so I can only give myself a small permission to use the language of the next jackal. Self-cultivation is a lifelong thing, and there is no need to rush it. I am particularly willful and unreasonable when it comes to loving myself.
Maybe it's because I have saved enough rich love in my daughter's emotional account before, maybe my daughter loves me more than I love her, and it didn't take long for my daughter to beg me not to be busy and talk to her, saying that I miss my mother these days. I hugged her and said that I really couldn't stand this dirty and messy environment, so I better clean up first and then accompany her. The daughter walked away disappointed.
Such a scene reminds me of the scene when my daughter was a child, she cried sadly after being scolded, her tears were not dry, and she came to me with a smiling face. At that time, I thought why this kid was so thick-skinned?I didn't see my daughter's suppressed sadness at all, attacking inward, self-attributing, and worrying about losing love.
Such a scene also reminds me of me, who was in a hurry to go to work and work overtime, and simply and rudely pushed away my daughter who asked for a story, "Why are you so ignorant?".Mom earns money to buy you rag dolls to play with. Well, go watch the cartoon. The daughter cried: "I don't want rag dolls, I don't want new clothes, I don't want candy, I just want my mother". But apparently the crying was fruitless, and the daughter walked away in such a disappointed way at that time.
In fact, it is too easy for people to fall into the same pattern when they live a lifetime.
For example, why should I call my daughter a "scrap"?I realized that this was actually one of my own life automation modes.
I remember scolding my boyfriend for being "waste" and my ex-husband for "waste", blaming them for not being motivated and not working hard enough. In fact, in the final analysis, it is the projection of one's own heart. Over the years, because of the lack of self-confidence, the fear of mistakes will be judged as useless by leaders and colleagues, excluded, and abandoned, so I always complete the work with nervousness and anxiety. In order to get a good evaluation, in order to relieve anxiety, the role of a mother is absent all year round, and more time is spent on work and Xi. It turns out that the person who is really afraid of being scolded as a "scrap" is himself. Including after my daughter's depression, I tried my best to zero out of the real social circle, and the strong stigma came from the fear of judging "waste"?