Do you still think that there is no difference between boys and girls in parenting?This is a big mistake, don't think so anymore!
Take me as an example, I myself am two boys, the eldest is 8 years old, and the second is 5 years old, both of them are naughty ages, and I am often hurt by their angry hearts, livers and lungs. I don't know if you have such a naughty bag at home?
After eating, it was supposed to be the time for the enlightenment of Chinese culture, the eldest and the second didn't go to read, everyone held a few playing cards, threw them around, the whole room, the whole bed, was all cards, I just cleaned up the room!There are also stickers on the wall, which is messy.
Seeing this moment, I wanted to go crazy, but the "rational brain" told me: "Don't lose your temper, it's not useful for children!".”
After taking a few deep breaths, I began to tidy up the room, and at the same time let the two babies read, they had to drink milk for a while, and they had to go to the toilet for a while, and they tossed for a while before they began to read Chinese studies. By the time they went to bed, it was already half past ten, the dishes and chopsticks had not been brushed, the floor had not been mopped, and when I had cleaned up, it was already early in the morning, and I was physically and mentally exhausted when I lay down.
Such a scene happens almost every day, and the scene is different, and it is very tiring to clean up, although the children sometimes help, but they can't stop "the more they help". I once took my two children to play with my best friend, her family is a girl, very quiet, in contrast, I really want to have another one (if I can be sure that it is a girl). Boys are so hard to raise!
Professor Li Meijin has shared the topic of raising boys many times in public lectures such as "Round Table Pie", and she also summarized the three principles of raising boys, especially before the child is 6 years old.
When I was a child, I didn't care, and when the child grew up, it was too late to think about it. Many adolescent rebellious boys hurt others and themselves, which has a certain relationship with their parents not adhering to the three principles when they were children.
Principle 1: Be willing to let your children suffer
According to a survey conducted by the Social Survey Center of China Youth Daily, 818% of respondents agree with parents "enduring hardship" for their children, 657% of the respondents believe that "hardship education" is of great help to children's future development.
The so-called hardship education can be carried out in the following directions:
1. Experience rural life
2. Field development training
3. Part-time job during summer vacation
4. Domestic work
5. Visit the old revolutionary base area
These methods are all normal "hardship education", not deliberate. It is worth noting that parents who are in good condition at home do not need to let their children "starve their bodies and skin" for the sake of "hardship education", which is unnecessary.
Usually let children participate in more physical exercises, climbing, running, swimming, etc., through these training, can also improve children's ability to endure hardships and endurance. Housework within the family's ability can also be arranged for children to cultivate self-care skills. Diligence can make up for clumsiness, and children who have been diligent since childhood are not bad when they grow up.
Principle 2: Cultivate a big-picture perspective in boys
People who have a big-picture view are broad-minded and have a more long-term vision in dealing with others. Especially boys, if they want to make great progress and hope that they can stand up to the sky in the future, they must cultivate a boy's overall view.
Zhao Junyan, a 15-year-old boy from Wenzhou, Zhejiang, went to work in Jakarta, where his uncle was located, during the epidemic, and after seeing the domestic epidemic, his uncle immediately purchased more than 20,000 local medical masks, ready to donate them to hospitals in need of masks in China.
However, the freight is too expensive, and it is better for someone to take the "human flesh" back to China by plane. But in the current epidemic situation, who would want to take risks?
15-year-old Zhao Junyan took on this important task without hesitation: "Uncle, let me come, I'll take a plane back to China!."”
It is precisely because of the boy's overall view that this batch of materials was able to come to China and solve the urgent needs of some hospitals. People who have a sense of the big picture will not only take care of themselves but also the situation of others when facing difficulties. And this is inseparable from the guidance of parents.
Principle 3: Build a good character in a boy
Professor Li Meijin has said in public many times that before the age of 6 is an important period for children's character development, and the key impact on children's personality is the family environment, that is, the environment in which they live with their parents.
As a parent, whether you want your child to have an ordinary life or be successful, it is important to cultivate a good character for your child, which will play a key role in his Xi, life and later marriage.
According to authoritative population data, in 2019, there were 30.49 million more men than women, and there were more and more families with boys, and there were more and more problems in raising children.
The above three principles are based on the premise that parents have a certain understanding of boys. Otherwise, the child will not listen to what you say.
So how do you know about boys?I recommend the book "Wild Parenting", which is also my pillow book for the past two years, and every night before going to bed, I will turn a few pages to learn a little bit of knowledge about raising boys.
This book divides the growth of boys, from 2 to 22 years old, into 5 stages, each stage of which boys have corresponding physical and psychological characteristics that require parental attention. From character cultivation to overall situation to hardship education, there are detailed introductions in the book.
At the end of each chapter, there are tips for caregivers to help parents better solve the problems in the boy's growth, and give the caregiver a "reassurance".
The author believes that parents should pay enough attention to boys and be prepared, because boys are a "different species", and it is important to face the challenges of raising them head-on and put more effort into it, which coincides with my philosophy.
From the 5 stages of boys' growth, to the boy's intellectual development, and then to the boy's inner world, with the 3 major themes as the axis, to help parents comprehensively sort out the problems in parenting. It can be said that this book can be read for 20 years, if your child is just 2 years old this year.
In the appendix chapter, the book explains 16 hot topics one by one, and provides a variety of discipline methods for more parents to choose.
Believe me, bring this book back, and it will be much less difficult for you to raise a boy, and you will also find that the child seems to be becoming more and more obedient and moving in the direction you expect.
Conclusion:
Boys have to work harder than girls to raise them, I've always thought so. The girl is quiet and elegant, the boy is mischievous and capable, if you have two boys in your family, you should understand my feelings. The three principles shared today, as well as the good things for parenting, I hope you can listen to them, read them, and implement them seriously, I believe it will be of great help to you in raising boys.
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