I talked to my child about death.
At first, because the baby refused to go to kindergarten, crying hysterically every day, I coaxed him and said, "It doesn't matter if you can't go to kindergarten now, you have to go to school when you grow up." ”
Baby asked, "Why do you have to go to school?"Why can't you play at home all the time. ”
I replied, "Because Mom and Dad can't be with you for a lifetime, you have to go to school to learn knowledge and skills, so that when you grow up, you can do what you want to do, take care of yourself, and support yourself." ”
The baby asked again, "Why can't you stay with me for the rest of my life?"”
I replied, "Because we're going to die." ”
When I said the word "death", I was actually a little hesitant, I didn't know if it was a little too early to talk about death with a three-year-old child.
But after only a moment's hesitation, I decided to respect the facts.
The child was stunned all of a sudden, "Why do you want to die?"”
I replied, "Because people get sick, and when they are old, they are too sick, and if they can't be cured, they may die." ”
The baby continued to ask, "Will you, your father, and your grandmother all die?"”
I replied, "If you are very old, very old, very sick, you will die." ”
This time, the baby couldn't hold back and began to cry, "I don't want you to die!."I don't want you to die!”
Although I have done a good job in psychological construction, when the baby cries, I still almost can't hold it, so I quickly hugged him and said, "We will die for a long, long time, and you will wait until you grow up, you can take care of yourself, and you will not be afraid of anything." ”
The baby still cried, "I don't want you to die, I don't want you to die!."”
I continued, "Because Yang Yang loves us very much, doesn't he?"Mom and Dad love you too, and we're not going to die right now. And death is a very natural thing, everyone will die, just like flowers will wither, leaves will fall, but flowers will wither, leaves will fall, the next year will bloom new flowers, new leaves will grow, a new cycle will be formed. ”
Because I have told the baby a lot of things in the world that everything is cyclical, the child can understand some concepts about cycles, and his sad mood is slightly better.
The baby lay in my arms and sobbed, "But I still don't want you to die." ”
I replied, "Okay, we won't die, we will stay with Yangyang for a long, long time." ”
To be honest, this time to talk about death, it is also the result of rushing words, I thought about not deliberately avoiding it, but I didn't expect the baby to talk about it at such a young age.
Reviewing the conversation, it was also my head that was too heavy.
It might be better if I only mentioned some of the good things about the school, but the baby's situation is more special, and I am afraid that the description is too good, and he will be hit even more hard in the future.
But since then, the baby has a preliminary understanding of death, although he is still reluctant to accept this fact, but at least he understands that it is not an unspeakable taboo.
At the same time, I also told him that although we cannot prevent death from happening, we can cherish our lives now and cherish every moment with our families.
Say this to your children as well as to yourself.
2023 Annual Stocktake