When children are disobedient or talk back, we need to recognize that this is an important part of their development, expressing their exploration of autonomy and their response to the environment. For example, children may feel confined to their busy morning preparations and unable to fully enjoy their playtime, or they may not be ready to start their day.
Expand: Understanding the motivations behind children helps us understand their behavior more deeply. We can talk to your child to try to understand their feelings and needs, and work with them to discuss a reasonable time for morning preparation. This kind of listening and respect builds mutual trust and understanding, helping children to cope better with different situations.
When confronted with a disobedient child, parents need to move from the traditional "command-obey" model to a more equal and respectful way of communication, treating the child as an independent individual with his own wishes and ideas. Communication should be based on understanding and respect, not mere instructions.
Extension: We can actively guide children to participate in the decision-making process, respecting their opinions and choices. This attitude of equality and respect can help children build self-confidence and autonomy, as well as develop their decision-making skills and sense of responsibility.
1.Use positive language: When communicating with your child, choose positive and specific language that acknowledges their feelings while expressing the need for the task.
Extension: We can tell children that we understand that they are enjoying play right now, but school is just as important. We can propose to get ready together quickly, and then the child still has time to play.
2.Set clear expectations and consequences: Clearly tell your child what the positive consequences of following the rules will be and what the consequences will be if they don't.
Extension: We can tell our children that if we start preparing now, they will have time to eat their favorite breakfast;But if you're late, you'll have to eat a bit.
3.Listening and empathy: Effective communication is not just about speaking, it's about listening. Listening to your child's opinions and feelings, and showing empathy for them, is the foundation for building trust and understanding.
Extension: When children feel they are being heard and understood, they are more willing to work with us. We can encourage them to express their thoughts and understand their emotions and needs.
4. Provide choice: Giving children choices can enhance their sense of autonomy.
Extension: We can give children a choice between two breakfasts or two sets of clothes, make them feel that their opinions are respected, and teach them to make decisions.
5.Recognize and respect your child's independence: As your child grows older, they begin to pursue more independence and self-control. It's a natural and necessary process of growth.
Extension: We as parents should recognize that children's rebellion is sometimes their way of trying to express their personal will and choices. We should encourage them to develop their ideas and give them the necessary autonomy.
6.Encourage self-directed decision-making: Encourage your child to make small decisions in their daily lives, such as choosing clothes or food for lunch. This not only boosts their decision-making skills, but also increases their adherence to family rules.
7.Give appropriate responsibility: Give appropriate responsibility for housework according to the age and ability of the child. This can be simple chores like sorting out toys or helping to prepare the table. Completing these tasks can make children feel proud and trusted.
8.Respect your child's opinions and choices: Whenever possible, respect your child's opinions and choices. When children feel that their voices are heard and respected, they are more willing to communicate and cooperate with their parents.
9.Patience and perseverance in dealing with challenges: Parents need to have enough patience and perseverance in the face of their children's backtalk and disobedience. Don't expect to see a change right away, as a change in behavior takes time and a concerted effort.
10.Stay calm and consistent: When dealing with your child's challenges, it's crucial to stay calm and consistent. Even in the face of challenges and pressures, we need to remain calm and consistent in what we say and behave.
Expansion: Our calmness and consistency can make children feel our firmness and stability, making it easier for them to accept our guidance and education. Instead of reacting to anger or frustration, we need to communicate and solve problems with our children in a calm manner.
In the face of disobedient children, we can adopt a series of strategies to change the way we communicate and solve problems. Understanding your child's behavior, changing parental roles, using effective communication strategies, and staying calm and consistent are important takeaways. Through these methods, we can build more effective communication and partnerships, develop children's self-confidence and sense of responsibility, and help them better cope with different situations and challenges.