I, born in the 80s, a white collar worker in a state owned enterprise, a female motorcycle rider, an

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My name is Xiang Ni, I am 38 years old, and I am studying in Chiang Mai.

Some people say that what makes a woman really grow up is the baby she has given birth to, the reading she has accompanied, and the heart she has walked.

I was originally a working mom across multiple industries, either on or off the road. Therefore, the growth of the daughter is neglected.

I was caught off guard by her changes and had to make up my mind to give up my familiar environment and circle and come to Chiang Mai, Thailand, to become a companion mother.

Seeing my originally depressed daughter become cheerful and sensible made me feel more and more that it is the greatest blessing in my life to accompany my child for a while, experience and witness her growth.

I'm a woman who likes motorcycles).

In 1985, I was born in Shangluo, Shaanxi Province, which is named after Shangshan and Luoshui, and enjoys the reputation of "the hometown of drama".

When I was in elementary school, I liked to sit on the back of my dad's motorcycle and feel the freedom and pleasure that the speeding motorcycle brought me.

Dad is like a handsome knight, with a dashing back, and he planted a desire in my heart to become a motorcycle rider as well.

When I was in 6th grade, I started my motorcycle "debut" with my dad on my back.

Because I often watch my father drive a motorcycle, I have subtly memorized the steps of driving a motorcycle. At that time, I was already 1.65 meters tall, and I could support my center of gravity directly on the ground with my legs straight, so I didn't panic at all, and I quickly became familiar with it.

Me and my beloved "mount").

At the age of 16, I have a bit of a rebellious personality and are prone to conflict with my parents from time to time. My parents sent me from Shangluo, Shanxi Province to Xi'an to go to school, probably because they thought that a change of environment would be better for my future development.

Since I arrived in Xi'an, I have started to live an independent life and learn to take care of myself. I don't have much time to go home, I don't go back once in a while on holidays, and I don't spend much time with my parents.

When I went to school, I chose to major in pharmacy because my family has been practicing medicine for generations, from my grandfather to my grandfather, and my grandfather used to be the principal of our local famous old Chinese medicine doctor and health school.

My grandfather especially wanted me to inherit the "mantle" of medicine, but although I chose to major in pharmacy, I did not work or develop in medicine as they expected.

In 2006, just after graduation, I chose to Xi in a hospital with the right specialty according to my family's expectations.

But it didn't take long for me to feel that there were too many rules and requirements in the hospital. I'm a person who likes freedom at heart, hates constraints, and feels like I'm not suitable for that kind of work environment. So he resigned and left the hospital.

My motorcycle rescue volunteer work photo).

Soon after,I opened a jewelry store. In the past few years, the business has been booming, not only has 3 stores under his name, but also cooperates with other friends.

After 16 years in this industry, Internet e-commerce suddenly had a great impact on physical stores, and several of my jewelry stores were closed one after another. There is still a last one, which has been moved from the city center to the suburbs, and is now being run by relatives.

What about the current situation of jewelry stores, it is not enough to make money, but it is reluctant to close down, with a little feeling, and remember youth.

After I got out of the brick-and-mortar store, I also started a company with a friend, mainly on the engineering side. It was very hard at that time, and I drove around in the winter to find work on the construction site.

But the benefits didn't work, and I didn't make any money, so I didn't last long and gave up.

Later, I heard that the medical device industry has good benefits, so I crossed the industry again to do sales in a medical device company.

I also like archery).

For about three years, I was basically either on a business trip or on my way to a business trip.

Monday to Friday working hours, business trips within the province. On Friday evenings, planes or bullet trains take customers to training meetings in various places.

Because he was too busy, he couldn't take care of his daughter at all, and neglected to accompany his daughter. In between busy times, I occasionally wonder if this kind of work is worth it

In 2021, due to the epidemic and my daughter's junior high school start, I found a relatively stable job as a procurement worker in a state-controlled enterprise.

The work content is relaxed, go to work at half past eight in the morning, leave work on time at five in the afternoon, no longer have to work overtime, and there are fixed weekends.

In the ordinary life, the occasional stirring up the inner wave is the favorite motorcycle riding.

I was lucky to be able to take a photo with the idol "Little Brother Qi").

I bought my first motorcycle in 2019 and have my own "motorcycle circle". This year, I also joined the Xi'an Fire Volunteer Motorcycle Emergency Rescue Team and became an officially numbered volunteer.

My motorcycle emergency rescue volunteer number is 027, which is very coincidental and is my daughter's birthday, which is very memorable.

The main task of the volunteer team is to cooperate with the emergency work, to carry out the task if there is a task, and to assist in the public welfare safety knowledge publicity.

Not long ago, during a volunteer event, I was especially lucky enough to ride with my childhood idol Ren Xianqi.

After the ride that day, everyone lined up the motorcycles, and "Little Brother Qi" walked to the side of our parked motorcycles and took photos with us one after another.

When I saw my idol coming by, I couldn't put into words how excited I was. There were only two female members of the team, and the other female team member was more daring than me, and offered to hug him, and then I was fortunate to hug Ren Xianqi, who was very gentlemanly and hugged us politely.

I can also go drag racing in the desert)

I didn't expect my idol to be so approachable and not have the slightest bit of a star stand. Probably because of his good mentality, he feels that he has not grown old, and he is still the "little Qi brother" who is free to travel.

This time, the stamina of being close to the idol is "thief", and I have been listening to his songs for a long time, cycling every day.

is close to the age of not confused, in addition to paying tribute to the idols of youth, you also have to face the worries of your children's growth in life.

My daughter has been well-behaved and obedient since she was a child, and her grades in Xi are very good, but in the second year of junior high school, her sudden change caught the whole family a little off guard.

In the middle of the second semester of the second year of junior high school, she began to show a feeling of boredom with school, saying that she didn't want to go to school anymore, and I didn't pay much attention to it at first, but slowly, she didn't like to write homework, and she had a more serious resistance and even fear of going to school.

I can also ski).

As a parent, I am anxious in my eyes. Her father and I took her to many places for check-ups, and after a psychiatric examination at a more authoritative hospital in Shanghai, the doctor told us that the child is a normal reaction to the growth of puberty, so that parents do not need to be overly anxious.

Although the doctor made us relax, the family couldn't help but be anxious when they saw the child's condition, and took her to the hospital in Xi'an for an examination.

The doctor said that the child had mild depression and needed to take medication. In desperation, we followed the doctor's advice and found a psychological counselor for the child while taking the medication, and conducted psychological counseling once a week.

But the effect is not ideal, and it can even be said that the effect is minimal. Children still show strong resistance to going to school.

My daughter's junior high school is one of the five famous schools in Xi'an, and the pressure of homework is relatively high, and there is a lot of homework every night, and it is common to fight until one or two o'clock in the morning. As a result, her resistance to going to school is growing.

Participate in off-road club activities).

Just when the whole family was worried about their daughter, an opportunity appeared.

I once had dinner with a friend, and my friend told me that he was going to Chiang Mai to eat. He said that Chiang Mai is a very slow-paced place suitable for retirement, and the reason why he considered the development of Chiang Mai is also to think of the future of retirement in Chiang Mai.

I have been to Thailand many times before, and I am relatively familiar with Thailand and have a good impression of it, but I don't know much about Chiang Mai.

I think the slow pace doesn't mean that the pressure is also less, the life pressure is smaller, the life happiness index will be relatively higher, if you live in such a place, change the environment to go to school, maybe the daughter's state will be different.

When I got home, I tried to tell my daughter what I thought. I said to her, "Mom is taking you abroad to study in Chiang Mai, Thailand." ”

Although I have been to Thailand with her, I have not been to northern Thailand and have no concept of Chiang Mai. After listening to this, she didn't have a big emotional reaction, and asked, "What is Chiang Mai like?"”

In fact, I have only seen some local buildings and scenery through the ** on the Internet, and I feel that Chiang Mai belongs to a style that looks a little fresh. So he replied, "It's probably about the same as our Lijiang in Yunnan." ”

Elephants raised in villages in Chiang Mai).

After listening to my words, my daughter agreed. She said that she liked places like Lijiang and expressed a feeling of looking forward to studying abroad.

I quickly contacted a friend and helped me find a school in Chiang Mai. Because the time was urgent, I didn't think about doing a strategy or anything in advance, and I quickly finalized an international school that I thought was good.

When I told my colleagues about the decision to accompany students in Chiang Mai, they advised me and kindly reminded me that I would not have a regular income if I quit my job as an escort, and that I might face a lot of challenges. When I went to go through the resignation procedures, the leader was quite surprised, but he also understood my choice.

In May 2023, I successfully completed my resignation and began to prepare my daughter for admission, and in August, my mother and daughter embarked on a trip to Chiang Mai.

No matter what kind of life awaits us, my idea is very simple, as long as the children can be happy, willing to go out and walk more, and meet more people, I will be very content.

Residents of Chiang Mai love to put dolls on the walls)

When we arrived in Chiang Mai on August 20th, it had been three days since the school started, and we needed to report directly to the school from our hotel.

I didn't expect my daughter, who hadn't gotten up early for a long time, to get up at seven o'clock. We had breakfast and then walked around the hotel.

It is not an exaggeration to describe the environment here as "one temple in three steps, one café in one step", there are really many temples and cafes.

After entering the school, walking on the quiet campus road, both of us felt very relaxed. When I arrived at the door of the principal's office, I saw a shrine and a ** of the King of Thailand.

Then I went through the formalities, received the school uniform, and my daughter changed the school uniform and put it on, feeling very happy.

Later, in the next two days, I contacted the agent to look at the house, rented the house, purchased daily necessities, and officially settled down.

Taeyi Village).When my daughter goes to school, I like to ride around on my rented motorcycle.

It is very inconvenient to travel in Chiang Mai without a motorcycle, so I went to rent a Vespa on the seventh day of my study, ** which is 3000 baht and has a displacement of 150.

On the day I rented my motorcycle, I drove to the night market. When I first rode, according to the domestic Xi to stay on the right, but as I rode on, a car came in front of me, and I was taken aback, only to realize that I needed to ride on the left side in Chiang Mai.

As the days went by, I became more and more fond of the small city of Chiang Mai.

Compared to the bustling and colorful Bangkok, Chiang Mai may seem a bit dilapidated and backward, but it has a slightly fresh style, exuding a low-key and simple, quiet and simple atmosphere. There are no luxurious buildings, no high-rise buildings, but they bring people a unique sense of intimacy.

No wonder Teresa Teng also likes it here, "A Small Town Story" sings "It looks like a painting, it sounds like a song" is probably such an artistic conception.

At the door of a coffee house in Chiang Mai).

What impressed me very much about this small town was the simple villagers.

Once, I was driving to the village where the movie "Thai Embarrassment" was filmed, and the car suddenly had a flat tire. I was in a hurry to call for help on the side of the road**.

A Thai local license plate pickup truck passed by, the car was a family, after asking me about the situation, immediately found a more spacious place, helped me check the car, took the spare tire in my trunk, and replaced the tire by two.

It had just rained that day, and the ground was covered with mud and water, and their clothes were soaked, and their bodies were covered in dirty mud, but they didn't care. When they were given money, they would not take anything.

I was particularly touched by the simplicity of the Thai people, which made me love this hot land again.

Here, the overall feeling is particularly relaxed, even the dog has a peaceful personality, and basically has never seen a dog take the initiative to bark at someone.

In such an environment,My mind has become more and more peaceful, and my heart has become less impatient. I have also become more and more relaxed about my daughter's education. Regarding Xi, I thought about putting it aside, as long as she was happy and cheerful, I would be satisfied.

Change your gear and get ready for Muay Thai lessons)

However, my daughter and I still had conflicts.

The first outbreak of conflict occurred on the 21st day of the accompanying study. We went out shopping together that day, and then I went to the gym and told her to go home and do her homework because she had to hand in her homework the next day.

But when I got home and found her sitting on the sofa brushing **, I was on fire for nothing.

Holding back my anger, I kept urging her to finish her homework first. But she didn't seem to hear it, and replied to me: "I don't want to write."

I was really devastated, why didn't she listen to me no matter how I persuaded her, and why didn't it work after so long of psychological construction?In order to avoid the escalation of the conflict, I rushed out of the door, but it was raining heavily, so I sat at the door until the rain stopped, and then went to the convenience store to buy something.

Now my daughter has grown up on her own, and I have my own space).

After I came back, I sat at the door of the building in the community, ate and drank the things I bought and came home, and the more I thought about it, the more angry I became. I have paid so much, but how can this be the result now. I can't help but complain to my friends.

Unexpectedly, the content of the beating ** was heard by my daughter, and she was also angry, so we had a positive quarrel.

The daughter sleeps with her head covered and can't go to school. The "world war" broke out again, and we quarreled and debated until both of us got tired. She was hungry and got her own food, and then she actually changed into a new swimsuit and went swimming.

Before leaving the house, she left a sentence, saying that she should not let an emotionally unstable person like me accompany her to study, she wanted to go to the care center and asked me to return to China.

I was so angry that I couldn't eat at all, and I didn't want to move when I lay down.

It froze, and the two of us didn't speak to each other. In the end, I compromised, ordered French fries and takeout, calmly communicated with her, and promised her that starting in September, I would stay in the care center from Monday to Friday and go home on weekends. But after you go in, you have to rely on yourself to be more independent.

and her daughter went to the Internet celebrity to order Alice Coffee to check in)

Looking at her eyes eager to break free, I seemed to see my 16-year-old self.

After the reconciliation of this conflict, the daughter has changed quite a lot.

She wakes up at seven o'clock every day to go to school, and her biological clock has been adjusted. The enthusiasm for learning Xi has also become higher, and the homework basically does not need to be supervised too much, and it can be completed by yourself. After school, he would often take the initiative to tell me about what happened in school, such as making new friends and how to get along with friends, and he would be willing to share them with me.

What particularly touched me was that my daughter became more sensible and caring.

One day I talked to my grandmother, and my grandmother said to me that because my grandfather was hospitalized because of cerebral infarction, he had been in the recovery period after being discharged from the hospital, and my daughter called her grandparents every night for about an hour to share the interactive games she found on the Internet to help her recover with her grandfather, and helped her grandfather do **, and only started to write homework after finishing every day.

After hearing this, I was a little teary-eyed, my daughter has grown up.

Now I finally have a leisure time to taste tea).

In the past, I felt that being a mother accompanying her and going to Chiang Mai with her daughter was a way out of the question, otherwise who would be willing to leave their hometown and find another way?

But now, I'm listening more to my heart, and I'm enjoying growing up with my children.

I used to be very afraid of my child's hardships and fatigue, and I wanted to satisfy her with everything. I used to be in a hurry and wanted her to be perfect in everything. After reflection, I found that by doing so, the children raised would become sensitive and vulnerable.

Give children independent space to grow, each child has their own growth time, and accept that children grow up slowly.

Just wait for the flowers to bloom.

Dictated: Xiang Ni].

Editor: Xia Feng].

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