Mom came to take the baby, quarreled with my wife from morning to night, I spent 1200, and finally saved the family of 3
The cutting-edge writer Gong Gaofeng once depicted such a picture in his work "Father's Black Fish": "The daughter-in-law and mother-in-law are destined to be each other's natural enemies. This design seems to have been deliberately made by the Creator, and generations of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have been intertwined and entangled in the long river of time, and it is difficult to get rid of them. ”
Throughout the ages, there have been countless marriages that have been broken because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Whether in ancient or modern times, couples who should have been happy and glue-like, but because of the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they finally had to choose to go their separate ways and go their separate ways. What's even more tragic is that in order to defend their love, some people can't resist the pressure of their parents, so they choose martyrdom, and interpret the love tragedy to the fullest.
For example, Jiao Zhongqing and Liu Lanzhi in the ancient classic "Peacock Flying Southeast" forced their son to divorce his wife because Jiao Zhongqing's mother did not like Liu Lanzhi. Liu Lanzhi returned to her parents' home, but was forced by her brother to remarry. The two mandarin ducks finally saw the hope of lifelong happiness shattered, and they could only choose to die in their own lives, one self-isolation from the world, and the other throwing himself into the water. 
Although the tragedy of Jiao Zhongqing and Liu Lanzhi is embarrassing, it is understandable. After all, it was an era when the will of parents was higher than the mandate of heaven, and although Jiao Zhongqing had tried hard to resist, they fought alone, and they were simply unable to fight against the powerful feudal religion.
In modern times, the sharp contradiction in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law seems to have become a major problem in men's lives. As long as you want to protect the wife you love, there are ways to resolve these conflicts.
When you try to rebel against those unreasonable parents for the sake of love, you may face a situation where you are accused of being unfilial. In terms of law and **, you may find it difficult to take advantage of it.
As Uncle Mana said, "I have seen many families where mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law live in harmony, and among them there is often a reasonable husband. Instead of just saying, 'She's my mother,' they are asking their wives to compromiseNor is it sitting on the sidelines, tolerating tension between the two women. In general, most problems in marriage are ultimately problems in relationships. ”
The reason why I am good for you is because I want to help you teach your wife to be more sensible and able to take care of the house, all for your sake. When she becomes a good wife and mother, aren't you the one who benefits?Why did you, in turn, stand on your wife's side, accuse your mother of being bad, and ask her to move out?I gave up a comfortable life in my old age, and I was willing to give up more than 3,000 yuan of salary to take care of your children. ”
Mr. Tang felt quite helpless when he heard his mother's rebuke. He knew that his mother's intentions were indeed out of concern, but his mother's ways were not good for him, but could destroy his own happiness.
01. Knowing that my mother is willing to take care of her grandson, my wife was overjoyed and said that she would treat my mother well.
Mr. Tang, 28 years old, has been married for three years. Eight months ago, Mr. Tang's wife gave birth to a son, which ushered in Mr. Tang's happy time as a father. Since the wife has a job with a monthly income of about seven or eight thousand, this is a financial support that cannot be ignored for the family. However, with the arrival of the child, it brings joy and also adds some financial burden. Therefore, there is an urgent need for the wife to return to the workplace after her maternity leave ends.
Originally, the mother-in-law volunteered to be responsible for her daughter's confinement and the care of her grandson. However, Mr. Tang considered that if his mother did not participate, his wife might be dissatisfied, which would also have an impact on his parents' later life. Therefore, Mr. Tang decided to call his parents **, hoping that they would come and take care of his grandson.
My mother agreed very happily, saying that she would let her mother-in-law take care of the confinement first, and when she settled down the affairs at hand, she would come to take care of her grandson. My wife was also very happy when she learned about it, calling my mother a good mother-in-law, and saying that she would honor her well in the future. ”
More than 6 months ago, Mr. Tang's mother quit her job, and after arranging the affairs of her hometown, she came to her son's home with a large bag and began to accompany her grandson.
Mr. Tang had thought that the arrival of his mother would solve the problem of taking care of the children and enable his wife to work with peace of mind. However, he ignored a problem, that is, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is best to follow the principle of "far fragrant and close smelly". Living under the same roof and living face to face can easily lead to conflicts.
02, my mother is picky about my wife and doesn't care about my family, I don't feel sorry for me, my wife accuses me of double standards and pedantic thinking, my mother sues me, and my wife looks for me to comment, who should I support?
Do you know what it's like to be unflattering on both sides?Everyone says that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, and both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are wronged, but in fact, it is really difficult for us men!On one side is Mom, and the unspeakable blame has to be endured;On one side is the wife, who needs to be coaxed, but he can't ignore the family affection, otherwise he will wear the hat of Ma Bao Nan, and the marriage will really be over. ”
Since Mr. Tang's mother came, Mr. Tang seemed to have become a rat in the bellows, and he was in a dilemma. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarreled from morning to night, and Mr. Tang was really in a dilemma.
In the eyes of Mr. Tang's mother, the daughter-in-law has a lot of shortcomings, and she can hardly see the advantages. For example, the daughter-in-law gets off work at six o'clock every day and sometimes comes home at ** o'clock in the evening, not because of overtime, but because she goes shopping and has dinner with friends”
The National Day holiday is also the 50th birthday of Mr. Tang's mother-in-law, and his wife asked the whole family to go back to celebrate his mother-in-law's birthday, and Mr. Tang agreed. However, Mr. Tang's mother objected, citing that her grandson was still young and the road was unsafe, and she even advised her daughter-in-law not to go back and give some gift money, which triggered a fierce quarrel between Mr. Tang's wife and her mother-in-law.
Mr. Tang's wife is not good at cooking, so before the arrival of her mother-in-law, she was in charge of other household chores, while Mr. Tang was the head cook. However, whenever her son cooked, Mr. Tang's mother always started counting her daughter-in-law before cooking, until the dishes were neatly arranged, and Mr. Tang's mediation was to no avail.
Not to mention the matter of bringing children, the dispute is more intense. One should follow the scientific parenting method, and the other should adhere to the old tradition, saying that I grew up like this. Alas, mom says bad things about my wife, my wife says damn, what should I do?”
03, "Distance produces beauty", in order to maintain family harmony, Mr. Tang spent 1,200 yuan to rent a house for his mother, and the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law finally subsided.
Because Mr. Tang's words did not work for his mother, but made his mother more nagging and sometimes swearing, Mr. Tang's wife felt more and more angry, and she took all her resentment on her husband.
In order to save the family, Mr. Tang quickly sought help from other married colleagues. After hearing about it, a colleague shared his experience and made suggestions.
Did you know that when I got married, I couldn't buy a wedding house due to financial reasons, so I had to live with my parents. But they are always critical of each other, my wife dislikes my parents for being untidy and lazy, and often quarrels, while my parents dislike my wife for spending money lavishly and disobediently, and talking cool things to each other on both sides, which makes me really unbearable. Later, I decided to move out with my wife. ”
After the colleague moved out, life became peaceful. Maybe it was because they saw their son being forced away, and the parents didn't dare to go too far and stopped saying bad things frequently. And when the wife sees her husband on her side, she is no longer angry with her in-laws.
Mr. Tang thought it was a good idea, so he found a house in the same neighborhood and rented it for 1,200 yuan. He tried hard to persuade his mother, and considering his son and grandson, Mr. Tang's mother agreed to move in although she was reluctant.
Mom came to take the baby, and my wife quarreled from morning to night, I spent 1200 to maintain a family of 3. Now everything is fine. Every morning, my wife and I send the children to my mother and say a few kind words, 'Mom, you have worked hard, go back to cook first after work, we will pick up our son in the evening, you can rest.' At my suggestion, my wife bought something that was inexpensive but my mother liked, her tone became sweeter, her face smiled more, and my mother became happy. ”
04. Dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is indeed quite tricky, but you must find a way to solve it, otherwise, both husband and wife will become losers.
Teacher Tu Lei once said: "All mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems should be made to bear certain responsibilities, and sons also need to bear greater responsibility." ”
Perhaps, the man will feel aggrieved, feel that the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to reconcile, and seem to be in trouble. However, no matter how difficult the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is, you have to do your best, because both women are a family because of you, and they love you.
The reason why your mother is willing to compromise and tolerate you is because she loves you and is willing to make concessions for your happiness. And the reason why your wife honors your parents and treats them better is because she loves you and is willing to do your sake.
If you want to have a happy family and achieve a win-win situation between your career and your family, you have to fulfill your responsibilities as a man.