My name is Li Xiaofang, I am 49 years old and I am a secondary school Chinese teacher. A year ago, I met Zhang Li, a 50-year-old successful entrepreneur. Our encounter was purely accidental, and that day I was driving to school when my car tire suddenly burst. Zhang Zhang happened to drive past me, saw my embarrassed appearance, and took the initiative to stop and help me change the tire.
Need help?I have a spare tire on hand. Zhang asked as he rolled down the window at me.
Thank you so much!The look of embarrassment on my face was immediately replaced by gratitude, "I really don't know what to do." ”
The relationship between me and Zhang Li is heating up day by day. We were very close to each other and talked about everything. He also loves my daughter Xiaofang very much. I began to fantasize and tension to form a complete home.
Just last week, Zhang Li invited me to dinner at a fancy restaurant. The restaurant is very romantic, Zhang Li is dressed in a formal attire, and he also deliberately wears a tie. I have a gut feeling that something big is going to happen tonight.
After dinner, Zhang Zhang suddenly got down on one knee and proposed to me!
Xiaofang, I love you deeply. You appear in my life like a light in the night. Will you marry me?Let me spend the rest of my life taking care of you and Xiaofang. ”
I was speechless with emotion, and tears welled up in my eyes. I hesitated for a moment, then nodded heavily.
Well, I do!I finally gave an answer.
Zhang Zhang was ecstatic and hugged me in his arms. I hugged him tightly and felt extremely happy.
The wedding took place a month later. I wore a lilac wedding dress, a tension suit and leather shoes, and I was handsome. We exchanged rings and became husband and wife in the presence of friends and family.
Life after marriage was calm and beautiful, and I felt like I had found true love and happiness. Until one day, Zhang Zhang suddenly proposed to implement the "system".
What does system mean?I asked, puzzled.
That is, the household expenses are divided equally, and each other pays half of it. Zhang Zhang explained, "I think the system is fairer, it can prevent you from thinking that I control the economy, and it can also reduce my financial burden." ”
I was a little surprised that since we got married, Zhang Li has been in charge of the family expenses, and I have never asked for a share.
My dear, you also know that I am just a teacher with a limited income. If it does, I'm afraid I can't afford that much of an expense. I said cautiously.
You can also use your savings or borrow money from me. "I wish our relationship was more equal." ”
I was silent, and I was very embarrassed by the tension's proposal. He saw that I didn't speak, thinking that I was minding about borrowing money.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have embarrassed you. Let's maintain the status quo for now. Zhang Zhang sighed and said.
No, dear, I understand your intentions. I walked over and shook his hand, "I also want our relationship to be more equal." But it still had a big impact on me at the beginning, and it took me a little time to get used to it. ”
I understand. Then we can start with some small expenses and slowly transition to the system. Zhang Zhang said.
Okay, that's it. I nodded, "But I have a small request, after the start of your life, you will find time to go out with me and Xiaofang once a week, and it will be regarded as a 'family activity day'." ”
No problem!Zhang Zhang said happily.
And so, the system life began. At first, I only paid for some daily expenses, such as groceries, daily necessities, etc. Zhang Li still pays large expenses such as rent and car loans. It's not so strenuous for me.
A month after the implementation of the system, Zhang Zhang proposed that all household expenses be divided equally, which he said was fair. I hesitated, but thought that our relationship needed more equality, and reluctantly agreed.
Now my financial pressure has increased significantly, and the rent and car loan alone account for more than half of my monthly salary. I had to pull out my savings and tighten my belt to get by. Zhang Zhang is happy, his income is several times higher than mine, and it has little effect on him.
I'm starting to feel that tension is too inconsiderate. In particular, he often forgets about his weekly "family activity day" and always uses his busy work as an excuse. Xiaofang and I can only visit the park on weekends.
Yesterday, I couldn't bear it anymore and had a serious talk with Zhang Li. I told him that if he didn't keep his promise to focus on his family, I would rather not live in control and ask him to take on more financial responsibilities again.
Zhang Zhang looked surprised, he said that he had always thought that the system was equality, and thought that I would be happy to participate.
My dear, economic equality is important, but family happiness is not based solely on money. I said softly, "What you have forgotten is not only the agreement with me and Xiaofang, but also the responsibility of being a husband and father." ”
Zhang Li was silent, and I could tell he was deep in thought.
I'm sorry, Xiaofang, but I didn't think it through. He finally spoke, "I'm so obsessed with work that I neglect my family. Can you give me a chance to start over?”
I nodded, relieved by the tense apology. We decided to put a break from life and go back to the mode where he was in charge of everything, but he needed to spend more time with his family.
And just like that, our lives got back on track. Zhang Zhang no longer mentioned the matter, and he also fulfilled the promise of "Family Activity Day" again. Every weekend, he would take Xiaofang and me to the playground and the zoo, and he would accompany us to watch a movie on weekend nights. Xiaofang is very happy to have her father by her side.
However, the good times did not last long, and after two months, Zhang Zhang proposed to implement the system.
Xiaofang, I have thought about it carefully, and I still think that the system is more equal and fair. You're going to promise me this once, right?Zhang Liyang begged.
I hesitated. Indeed, a modern egalitarian family system is not unreasonable.
Okay, then let's try again. I agreed, "but I still have a few requests." ”
You said. ”
Zhang Zhang thought for a moment and nodded: "Yes, my income is indeed higher." ”
We discussed a number and barely reached a consensus.
And one last thing," I said, "you have to take me out on dates as often as you did when you chased me." The money is paid by you, and it is not counted in the system. ”
Zhang Zhang smiled: "This is no problem, I will take you out often." ”
Then we're done!I laughed too.
This time, at my request, the system was implemented more successfully. Zhang Zhang gradually found a balance between work and family, and I no longer had to worry about the economy. He would take me out on dates on a regular basis and our relationship grew stronger day by day.
In retrospect, it was indeed ill-conceived when tension unilaterally proposed the system. But after some back-and-forth and trial and error, we finally found a balance that was acceptable to both parties.
I began to understand the purpose of the tension, and he wanted to make me an equal member of the family through the system, rather than relying on him to provide for me. It comes from the respect he has for me.
But Zhang Zhang also gradually realized that family happiness is not only built on the basis of economic independence, but also requires investment of time and affection. He needs to learn how to spend more time with his family in his spare time, not just work.
Xiaofang, thank you for your tolerance and understanding. Once, Zhang Li suddenly said to me, "I insisted on implementing the system at the beginning, but it was too idealistic. The differences between you and me are not taken into account. ”
My dear, I would also like to thank you for the respect you have always shown me. I shook his hand and said, "After all these experiences, I have grown a lot and understand your good intentions better." ”
Well, we've all grown along the way. Zhang Zhang nodded, "To manage a relationship, mutual understanding is the most important thing." ”
I couldn't agree more. Zhang Li's approach really hurt me at the beginning, and I also resented and misunderstood him. But after a long period of communication and compromise, we re-established trust and the relationship was stronger.