In the long journey of life, we will meet all kinds of people.
Some people are like-minded and can walk hand in hand for a while, however, there are others who bump into us and end up parting ways.
Interacting with people, if there is only kindness, will only make yourself more and more internal.
A lot of times, we need some skill and wisdom.
Because every encounter in life is not worthy of your sincerity.
We need to be kind and sharp.
No matter who you are with, if you don't want to be seen as a weaker target, remember the following three words of advice.
Learn to say no
Many people have a "good guy syndrome" and can't always say "no" in the face of other people's requests.
Fear that rejection will disappoint others and ruin their relationship.
However, the truth is that if you never say no, others will take your efforts for granted and stop cherishing them.
Rejection does not mean that you are unkind or indifferent, on the contrary, appropriate rejection can make you more dignified and confident.
This rejection also requires some skills and methods.
Pay attention to the tone and style, try to express your opinions tactfully, and explain your reasons and grievances at the same time.
Doing so will protect each other's dignity and make them more understanding of your position and difficulties.
As Wilde said:
Rejection is the key to success. If you learn to say no, you'll have more time and energy to do what you really want to do. ”
Learning to say no is to make your life easier and more comfortable.
When you know how to refuse, others will understand your bottom line and principles, and thus respect you more.
*: "I don't go to work today".
Don't try to please without a bottom line
As the saying goes, "Those who want to be respected must first respect themselves."
In other words, if we want to be respected by others, we must first respect ourselves, which is the bottom line that we cannot lack.
In interpersonal communication, many people habitually please others, hoping to be liked and recognized by others.
However, excessive pleasing often leads to the loss of bottom lines and principles, and even being taken advantage of.
Pleasing others does not really earn respect, blindly pleasing others, others will only think that you are a person without assertiveness and principles, and thus lose respect for you.
In the end, what we get is not love and understanding, but pain and hurt.
Instead of spending a lot of time and energy trying to please others, pay more attention to your own inner needs and values.
When you have enough self-confidence and self-esteem, you will find that you no longer need to prove your worth by pleasing others.
As Mr. Yang Jiang said:
We had been so hopeful of recognition from the outside world, only to realize in the end that the world was our own and had nothing to do with others. ”
*: "I don't go to work today".
Temper tantrums appropriately
In interpersonal interactions, some people are always accustomed to suppressing their emotions and dare not express their dissatisfaction and anger.
However, this practice tends to allow oneself to accumulate too many negative emotions, and even explode to take things to the other extreme.
Tantrums do not mean that we become irritable, on the contrary, we should express our position appropriately at the right time, release negative emotions, and at the same time, let the people around you better understand your feelings and needs.
When you lose your temper, pay attention to the manner and time.
Try to express your dissatisfaction and anger in a calm state while presenting your own needs and expectations.
Doing so can make the other person clearly perceive your situation and attitude, which is more conducive to solving the problem.
I know this in my work.
When I first entered the workplace, I was always used to suppressing my emotions and did not dare to express my thoughts and dissatisfaction.
Then one day, I couldn't bear it anymore, and I broke out.
At this time, the leader realized that it was my overload when the wind and waves were calm, so the work was re-divided, my pressure and needs were also resolved, and everyone cooperated more harmoniously in the subsequent work.
*: "I don't go to work today".
In the journey of life, we must show our friendly side, but also learn to protect ourselves.
Don't confuse kindness with weakness, be brave in refusing, avoid pandering to others without a bottom line, and have your own persistence and temper.
Remember, someone who truly knows how to respect you won't alienate you because of your rejection, sticking to your bottom line, or throwing a temper tantrum appropriately.
On the contrary, they will appreciate your courage and steadfastness even more.
Only when we truly understand the essence of human relationships can we reap the most comfortable relationships.
Author: Brother Claw;**Horse catcher.