"Auntie, do you say it's a sin to be single?How did I become a criminal?”
Xiaoye, 35 years old this year, works in a hospital, and with his own efforts, he has bought a house, a car, and actively improved his education.
She not only arranged her life properly, but also took care of her parents, and there was a younger brother at home who couldn't support her. It is said that this should be regarded as a hero of the family. But in the past few years, I was urged by my parents to have a home and didn't dare to go back, and occasionally I had the courage to go home, and I was beaten out by my mother with a feather duster.
You're stupid at reading!"It's so selfish!If you don't think about your parents at all, we don't have such an unfilial child as you!"You're sinful to be single!These words came out of the mouth of the person closest to him, stabbing Xiaoye's heart.
But is it a sin to be single?According to statistics, there are now more than 200 million single people in China, and if single people are guilty, I am afraid this is the largest criminal group. But if singleness is not guilty, then why does it affect so many families, break their hearts for it, and break their hearts?
Let's take a look at what psychologists have to say!
How to Hug a Hedgehog" has a sequel, compared to the first part of the balance between love and marriage, the second part is more focused on single people. Through the four attachment patterns of **, nine typical single patterns are analyzed, so that you are no longer lonely when you are single, and you can find companions in the book.
At the same time, this book continues the style of the first part, each single mode is introduced through a case, combined with the case to explain the performance and confusion of the single model, and then from the personality sketch, psychological schema, social limitations, breakthrough methods of the four aspects of professional analysis and guidance at the psychological level, and finally give the most suitable portrait of the person for you, and provide a film and television drama to help readers deepen their understanding.
1 Singleness is not sinful, but it is a disease
In "How to Hug a Hedgehog 2: Who You Are, You Will Meet Whom", the author lists 9 most common single patterns, one of which is socially phobic single.
Zixuan in the book is a technician, diligent and reliable, but he can't say goodbye to being single. Even with it, Fa Xiaoming was anxious for him.
So, Ming asked Zixuan to go out to dinner, and at the same time asked another girl to help Zixuan match. Who knows, Zixuan, who was still normal, almost reached the point of aphasia when the girl arrived, not to mention talking to the girl, except for the initial Ming who nodded when he introduced, Zixuan didn't dare to raise his head the whole time, and silently finished the meal.
Zixuan is a very typical social phobia, this kind of single group needs courage, encouragement, love, and the guidance of the people around them, and slowly comes out of the fear of socializing step by step.
Can we say they are guilty?No, you can't!
2 Being single and half sinful, hurting oneself and harming others
How to Hug a Hedgehog 2: Who You Are Will Meet Whom Another single mode in the book is called virtual singleness, and the moment I saw the case, Yang Lijuan immediately came to mind.
thinks that at the beginning, Yang Lijuan's crazy star-chasing, in her own eyes, was completely a vigorous love, but this love only existed in her own world.
For the sake of this love, she forced her father to death, and also affected the normal work and life of her idol Andy Lau.
People who are immersed in virtual singleness are not sick in themselves, but they temporarily blur the boundary between imagination and reality, and someone needs to guide them back to reality and see the truth of life.
3 Sinfulness is sinfulness, sin is lack of redemption for oneself
Eight of the nine types of singles are forced to be single for a variety of reasons, with one exception, which is immersive singleness.
One of them lived as a team, and one person lived as the whole universe. And life and work are all wonderful. They have a common name - single aristocrats.
In fact, in this group, the proportion of those who really enjoy being single is not very large. A larger part of the population, such as Andy in "Ode to Joy", is single because of a lack of self-understanding.
They thought they were love insulators. However, once the knot is untied, they can also quickly reap happy love.
If they are guilty, it is also the lack of redemption for themselves!But who says that this life must be redeemed?How many people have gone through this life without salvation?
Write at the end
Saying that single and sinless people often say that I am in charge of my life, I am willing to be single, who is in the way!
However, the nine modes of singleness introduced in the book, when you think of the singles in your life, most of them have a shadow or trauma in their hearts.
No one will refuse happiness, but everyone has their own heart to cross. Fortunately, some people succeed in the catastrophe, while others spend their entire lives in the catastrophe.
So, if singleness is sinful, they are all guilty of the same sin and have not succeeded in redeeming themselves. However, this sin should not be a reason for anyone to criticize, and we need to respect every choice of life.
Life is a journey, and everyone's vision is different, and their inner experience is even more different. We can't treat others with ourselves, even if the other party is in a deep quagmire, if there is no help, we should not rush to reach out, that may be the catastrophe he will experience.
But from a personal point of view, we want everyone to be happy, so if you want to take a step forward, you can take the initiative to ask for help, such as opening "Hedgehog 2", and let a psychologist accompany you to see yourself clearly, see the relationship clearly, and find a way out for love.