Xiaolin has been in the company for five or six years, and he has always been not salty or light, and he gets along with the leader as a businessman, some people say that when you join the team, you should invite the leader to dinner, which can bring you closer to the relationship. Xiao Lin came to the leader's office in the afternoon and wanted to invite the leader to dinner in the evening. The leader was stunned for a moment, first expressed his gratitude, and then said apologetically: I have something to do temporarily, and I am not available tonight.
Xiao Lin's face turned red, and he quickly said "I'll make an appointment next time", and exited the office full of concern. Xiao Lin felt very shameless to be rejected by the leader, so he never asked the leader to eat again, and the relationship between the two became more and more estranged. In fact, the leader knows that Xiaolin's emotional intelligence is too low, and he will not fight for it if he refuses once, and he is overwhelmed and unsuitable for important matters such as management and coordination.
In fact, in the workplace and shopping malls, the relationship with leaders and customers is very important, although the dinner is rejected by some young people, but the dinner is still a more business means of communication, and the dinner is still a more popular social mode. However, leaders and customers don't care about going to a meal, and they don't want to eat a meal so much that they want to eat it, so inviting leaders or customers to a meal is a technology.
If you invite a leader or customer to dinner, the other party immediately says, I have something to do today. Or, at the beginning, I promised you, but halfway through I said that I had something to do and couldn't participate. In this case, we are generally disappointed, and then reluctantly reply, then make another appointment next time. This kind of reply is a straight reply, which is not a big deal, but such a reply seems to be not emotionally intelligent.
If the place says that it has something temporary, it will either refuse you, or it is really temporary, if we simply reply, then we have to make an appointment next time. This is a response with low emotional intelligence, which seems too perfunctory and innocent, making the other person feel ignored by you, which has a negative impact on the next step in deepening the relationship.
1] In the face of important customers declining invitations, you should use the words of "understanding + advice + expectation".
We invited an important customer to dinner, and the other party said, unfortunately, I have something today, or I agreed at the beginning, and then said that there is something temporary, if we simply reply "next time", it is not professional enough. People with high emotional intelligence tend to pay more attention to details and the feelings of the other person than the average person.
People with high emotional intelligence generally use the "understanding + suggestion + expectation" formula: it's a pity that we can't have dinner together today, understand this unexpected situation at work, and suggest that we find a suitable time to have dinner together, looking forward to our meeting again, looking forward to cooperating again in the future.
This kind of speech not only expresses your disappointment, but also expresses your understanding of the customer, and puts forward the suggestion of the next appointment, and also expresses the expectation of future cooperation, which reduces the embarrassment of the customer, is conducive to maintaining a good relationship, and leaves room for the next cooperation.
2] In the face of the leader's polite refusal of the invitation, the words of "regret + reappointment + statement + expectation" should be used.
If the leader wants to ask the leader to dinner, he must be prepared for the idea of "three visits to the thatched house", if the leader comes out as soon as he is invited, it also seems that he has lowered his value. Under normal circumstances, even if the leader wants to promise you, he must at least twist it a few times, and he wants to welcome or refuse. Therefore, if the first invitation is rejected, don't care, don't stop there, and never fight for it again, this is a very immature performance.
Inviting leaders to dinner is a major channel to get closer, obtain resources, and strive for opportunities, so you should not rush to invite, but look for the right opportunity or create the right reason to make the invitation successful. For example, thank the leader for training, congratulate the leader on the happy event, build bridges to get to know more people, and so on.
If the leader still refuses to have something temporary, you should reply with the verbal formula of "regret + reappointment + statement + expectation": Oh, you have something today, it's a pity, I didn't choose a good day, can you see if we can change it to tomorrow night or weekend?You are busy first, and I will fight again in the next two days, and I look forward to inviting you to dinner in these days.
3] The real high emotional intelligence is to find a reason that the other party cannot refuse, and gladly go to the appointment.
The first premise of inviting leaders or customers to eat is to reassure the other party, have no psychological burden, and feel relaxed. If you invite the leader to dinner, before the competition, interview, assessment, etc., it will naturally make the leader feel pressure, because you invite the leader to eat to ask for things, so that the other party has a psychological burden, eat other people's short mouth, and do not want to bear the debt of favors, so there is a high probability that the leader will find an excuse to refuse.
The second premise is to make the other person happy. When you encounter difficulties or ask for forgiveness from the leader, invite the leader to dinner, and look at your bitter face, how can the leader be interested?The best reason to make the other person happy and have no psychological burden is to "thank you afterwards". You look for an opportunity to thank you, even if it's not a real reason, that will make the leader happy and relaxed.
For example, if you want to invite the leader to dinner, you can find a reason to thank you: Leader, last time you gave me a training opportunity, which benefited me a lot, and I would like to take this opportunity to express my heartfelt thanks to you for your care and cultivation all the time. The reasons you are looking for must be specific and real, so that the leader feels relaxed and happy, and there is no psychological burden.
The third premise is to try to find the right person to accompany you. Whether you are a novice in the workplace or a subordinate of the leader, if you invite the leader to dinner, the amount is not enough, and it would be better if you could find the right "bridge" personnel. For example, your relatives have a good relationship with the leader, your uncle and the leader are comrades-in-arms, your uncle is a superior leader, your friend is the leader's classmate, and so on.
ps: We invite leaders and customers to eat, it is very common to encounter a polite refusal or no-show, walking in the workplace, will not be calm, do not have a glass heart, people with too strong self-esteem are often prone to setbacks. If you are rejected once, then ask again, and if it doesn't work, ask for a third time, generally "nothing more than three", and others will promise when they see your sincerity.