Although I have mentioned it repeatedly before, I say:"Don't do" is also a kind of "do".
But there is always a habitual thinking that if I want to achieve something, I have to do something, otherwise the thing will be gone.
This is actually a very wrong way of thinkingMany people's redemption is actually a process that requires patience, patience is to learn to wait for a good result to come, and if you can't do this, you will find that you are doing something wrong.
When I say this, many people may not understand, let's take a very simple example, you go to pester the other person, and you hope that the other person can give you a response.
At this time, I tell you, you wait patiently, there will be a turnaround, and you don't listen. You change the way to entangle the other party, and as a result, your ex is getting farther and farther away from you, until in the end, you find that what you do seems to be useless, and you feel that you are doing something wrong.
This is the result of impatience.
As far as the situation I actually encountered is concerned, when many people just broke up, as long as they learn not to entangle, the situation will definitely not be so bad, and they can even communicate well with their ex in the future, which has paved the way for subsequent recovery.
Many people may still have questions at this time:If I don't pester the other party, the other party really has nothing to do with me anymore. The other party may have found a new love.
This kind of thinking is a typical impatient thought. Because patient people don't ask this kind of question, impatient people are always making excuses for their impatience, and they feel that they are very objective in their own considerations, and it is not caused by impatience.
Here I'm going to ask:Why don't you entangle the other party, the other party really has nothing to do with you, how did you come to the conclusion here?
As long as you think about it, you will find that your conclusion is purely based on your own worries, and it does not correspond to the objective situation at all. Because emotional problems are never said to be nothing, no matter who it is, as long as you have truly loved it, how can it be so easy to let go.
And when you are in love, you have been pestering your object, you talk to me every day, and in the end, don't you also separate?So what's the use of pestering?
After my persuasion, can you have an objective understanding of the fact of the breakup?
And there is another advantage of not being entangled, that is, the other party can face up to your value.
Because when you just break up, it is equivalent to the other party denying you. If you pester the other person, you are exposing your own sense of need, and the higher your need, the lower your value.
For most people, breaking up is an important thing, even if the other party is very resolute when they mention breaking upButtaI'm going to think about it, too, taIs it right or wrong to bring up the matter of breaking up?
But if you pestering her after a breakup, then sorry, he will soon feel that he is right, because your various actions show thatYou're not a worthy person, and there's not much to lose by abandoning you.
Or maybe they will find it very easy to get you, so they can ignore your option and look back at your performance when there are no other options.
Or maybe you feel that you only see your face clearly after the breakup, you are a person who doesn't think about his thoughts at all, so this hand is split up and so on.
In short, there may be a lot of negative thoughts about you.
At this time, some people may have questions: I pestered my ex to let my ex know the heart I want to redeem, will my ex not know this idea?
My answer is:The ex knows you want to redeemta, the ex is a little more sane than you, so taKnow what you're interested inof love, but this time taIt's not more than feeling moved because of taIt is your love that will be abandoned. It's more of the negative thoughts I just mentioned.
So do you still find entanglement useful?
Feelings