Some relationships between men and women are more complex and can go beyond marriage. It's not that marriage is not a bondage, nor that marriage can't constitute a binding relationship, but that men and women after marriage have to break free from the marital relationship, and one or both parties find a lover, which is considered a kind of freedom that they think, but in fact, it has been criticized by others, and even become people's after-dinner conversation.
After the famous philosopher Sartre married his wife Beauvoir, he was not at ease, and he ingratiated himself with his student Olga, and thought that his love with Olga was of high character. The three lived together for a long time, and finally broke up. The new type of interpersonal relationship they created together was physically and mentally exhausting, and for this reason, Beauvoir also wrote a book called "The Female Guest", which wrote the story between the three of them. But Sartre did not stop there, but continued to look for a lover, and found Anka, Wanda, and later Arlett and others. Beauvoir was not idle, and maintained a lover relationship with a man named Bobst for ten years. Later, Beauvoir fell in love with her American lover Olgren and broke up with Bobst. And Bost was Olga's lover, and when the two got married, the witness was Beauvoir. Sartre and Beauvoir did not divorce, but cheated in marriage, each looking for their own lover, and considered it a normal relationship. Beauvoir said in her memoirs that for Sartre, his dealings with every woman were merely a vow of love. So, isn't Beauvoir's interaction with every man also an experiment in love?
The famous poet Gu Cheng wrote the book "Ying'er", in which he wrote about his relationship with his wife and lover, which was more bold and avant-garde. The three of them set off together and walked on the road of life, which looked wonderful——— at least in Gu Cheng's eyes, it was wonderful, but in the end it still caused a tragedy. If a triangular relationship or a multi-angle relationship appears before marriage, it will be accepted by people, or people just avoid talking about it, and if it appears in marriage, it will be criticized, at least it violates the marriage law and violates moral requirements. But as long as one party in the marriage does not report and sue, there is no way to discover or eliminate the polyamorous relationship in the marriage. In this way, marriage becomes a disguise, not just a constraint.
In ancient times, men and women had animal attributes and did not marry, but mated like animals. When it comes to sexual selection, both men and women are multiple, not singular. Men will like a lot of women, and women will like a lot of men. Male and female mating relies on conquest, and one conquers the other, and they can mate smoothly. It is also possible to achieve mating with similar smells, as long as the smells are similar, they can come together. After the formation of human society, the tribal chief will have the right to mate with the entire tribe of women, and can find women to serve at will, and men seem to be able to mate only if they please women, or there are still barbaric Xi of conquest. In a slave society, slave owners will have a lot of wives and **, and many male slaves will be deprived of their mating rights, and they will not be able to marry and have children. Even if a slave gives birth to a child, the child is still a slave. As a result, many ** don't want to have children, and even kill newborns to prevent them from being slaves. In the feudal era, the magnates could have a group of wives and concubines, have singing and dancing girls, and go to the Qinglou to have a dashing time. Marriage is based on "the order of the parents, the words of the matchmaker." "Of course, polygamy was only for the sake of having more children in order to provide a large labor force for an agrarian society. At the same time, polygamy also emphasized the status and role of men, making it impossible for women to achieve emancipation. A man can cheat in marriage, and he still has legitimacy, and he is recognized by the society, which is called ability, while a woman who cheats in marriage will not be recognized by the society and is considered a "thief and adulteress". Historically, there were only chastity arches erected for women, and there were no chastity arches erected for men. It can be seen from this that the Xi of preference for sons has risen to the height of morality, and it is an absolute constraint on women.
Now, the marriage law has been promulgated, if one party cheats in the marriage, the other party can file for divorce, which is called divorce due to the other party's mistake, and it will generally be divorced, even if it is judged by the court, it will also grant a divorce. However, there are special circumstances, that is, one of the men and women cheats, and the other party does not know, even if they know, they don't care, even if they maintain a superficially stable marital relationship. Of course, it is only to deceive others and deceive oneself, and it will not gain any relief from it. There was once a big director who had improper relationships with many actresses, but the wife of the big director was more tolerant, just if she didn't know, or if she knew, she could tolerate it. Generally speaking, this relationship is like the marital relationship of the ancient magnates, there is not much difference.
There are men and women who live separately in two places, but they are married, but they can't work and live together, so they cheat on each other and find a lover, but they don't let each other know. When the two places are separated, they each live with their lovers, and when they need to live together, they temporarily say goodbye to their lovers and live with the other party in marriage. There is also one party who cheats in marriage, and the other party is as guarded as jade, of course it is good if he is not discovered, but if the fact of cheating in marriage is discovered, he will face divorce. In fact, as long as one or both parties cheat in marriage, the marriage relationship has already existed in name only. Of course, there are all kinds of speculators, who just think that the other party doesn't know about cheating in marriage, and even if the other party knows, there can't be any divorce. To put it bluntly, it is still a property relationship that supports the marriage relationship, as long as the party who earns more money cheats and the other party does not earn money, it is possible to endure it. And both parties make money, if one party cheats, the other party may not be able to bear it, and will cheat, which is considered a kind of "reciprocal retaliation". Of course, there are also temperamental reasons. Many times, one party can tolerate the other party's infidelity because of a cowardly temperament. In addition, there are reasons for power. There are more than 100 lovers in a **, and more than 100 lovers live in the same community, and unified management is implemented, and whoever gives birth to a child can get a reward. In this way, the power to cover the sky with one hand makes the wife and lovers obedient, and no one will report it, let alone **.
The relationship between men and women beyond marriage is more complicated, and it is easy to have "the people do not sue, and the officials do not hold them accountable." It is also easy to maintain the situation of cheating in marriage for a long time, and there will even be the phenomenon of co-ordination, and the phenomenon of multiple people cheating on both sides at the same time makes the marriage relationship a fig leaf and exists in name only.