1. The distress of the original match.
My husband and I have been married for 10 years, and it has taken us 10 years from having nothing at the beginning to having a house, a car and a deposit now. I thought that if I spent the hardest days with my husband, he would not have any outside thoughts about me. Unexpectedly, food and clothing are thoughts, this is a fate that ordinary people can't get rid of.
After I found out that he had a woman outside, I also cried and made trouble, and my husband promised to break it off on the surface, but he hurt me again and again. It wasn't until I saw a baby's ** in his phone that I knew they even had an illegitimate child.
We had a threesome, but I still couldn't share my husband with other women. I asked my husband to cut off the woman, but he said, "She and I even have children, how can I be so irresponsible?"That's my child, too. ”
I asked rhetorically, "What about the child between us?"Have you thought about it?”
He said, "I love both of you, and I will be responsible for both children." Don't worry, I'll have a bowl of water. ”
I was in utter despair. I don't want to believe or accept it, I'm going to spend my life like this for the rest of my life, and I'm not reconciled. Teacher, can you give me an idea, I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down every day.
2. Case analysis.
is obviously a good home, but it was disturbed by another woman, I believe that no woman will be willing. If two people are just having an affair, it is not difficult to end it. But if they have an extra child, the problem is much more complicated. It is not only the integrity of the marriage that is damaged, but also the integrity of the property.
Isn't it just to fight for money and property when a woman gives birth to a child here, and wants to tie a man to a man for the rest of her life and be her long-term wallet. Therefore, if the original partner did not get rid of it at the beginning of the extramarital affair, he would regret it when the illegitimate child was born.
As for the man, he now has two homes. If you have trouble with the original partner, you can go to the third sister's house, and if the third sister doesn't like him, you can go home to find the original partner. He has a choice of where he wants to go, and his temper will definitely grow.
The most pitiful is the illegitimate child, when he grows up, he will find that he is the product of a bad relationship, no one will look down on him, and his future three views and personality are also worried.
The original child is also unhappy, the father's companionship and love are less than half, and at the same time, the child is likely to no longer believe in marriage.
Even if such a marriage is saved, it is difficult for a man to break up the relationship with the third sister, because of the existence of the child, the two are likely to be entangled for the rest of their lives. Partners, do you think so?
I really want to ask you a question, in real life, how many men have you seen who don't divorce for the sake of their children?Some men are not even willing to pay child support after divorce.
There are also very few men who will live with their children after divorce, and most of them will give their children to their ex-wives.
From this point of view, the man's excuse not to break off with the third sister under the pretext of having an illegitimate child is purely his excuse.
3. How should the original match deal with it?
The following principles must be kept in mind for the original matching:
First, get the man.
You have to let men know that you are not to be messed with. He can find a woman outside, he has an illegitimate child, and you have a way to get him to go home obediently, otherwise you will make him pay the biggest price. The so-called price is that a man's weakness is in **, and the price he has to pay is in **. He cares about reputation and status, so he starts from this aspect;He cares about the persona, you break it, and see if he is afraid.
Second, get the money done.
You hold all the money in your own hands, and the woman outside has no hope at all, and she will still be with your husband. She just wants to use your husband as a cash cow, and as long as you don't let her succeed, she will withdraw from your marriage sooner or later.
Third, get the kids.
For men to treat the woman outside as an ex-wife, there is no other relationship between them except for children. Alimony can be given, but only according to the minimum standard, and not to meet all the demands of the other party.
In fact, it is not difficult to get a man, the more he is afraid of something, the more you will do it, yes.
You must know that this process is not easy to go, and the original partner must have confidence in himself. If you think you can't do anything, you might as well give up as soon as possible.