Should laundry and cooking become a must-have skill for girls?
This issue has rushed to the hot search on the Internet several times and has become a hot topic of heated discussion.
And today, there is another related question that has become the focus of attention of many netizens: Do girls have to learn to wash dishes?
Isn't it particularly boring?Do you still need to ask such a mentally retarded question?
Who doesn't eat on any day?It's so hungry that you can't stand it, it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl.
However, things are far from being as simple as everyone thinks, this time the "war" was directly led to a little girl who was only 12 years old, and this day happened to be her birthday.
Let's first take a look at the ins and outs of this incident, the once famous doctor from a poor family: Tao Yong, an ophthalmologist in Beijing, appeared on the hot search again on his daughter's 12th birthday because of the controversy involving children's family education methods.
After the release of Dr. Tao Yong's long article (pictured above), it attracted extensive discussions among netizens about children's education, and several of them were quite "controversial" (I personally think that it is simply nothing to do).
Criticism and controversy are mainly focused on these aspects:
1.Shouldn't housework such as laundry, cooking, and washing dishes be done by parents?
2.Should dishwashing be a must-have skill for girls?
3.You can educate your children 365 days a day, but you can't make an exception for birthdays?
Dr. Tao Yong's personal experience is very inspirational and is a good example for us ordinary people to pay attention to and learn. There is a lot of news and records about him on the Internet, and I will not talk about it here.
Because of other things that happened to her daughter's birthday, some netizens expressed their disappointment with Tao Yong himself, some netizens disapproved of his approach, and some netizens expressed his opposition to the concept of children's education methods, and even some netizens rose to the (Western-style trap) problem of gender opposition between men and women:
There can be no filter on the profession, the noble shell and the feudal pedantic inner can coexist. ”
"Who has a birthday to serve their family, wash the dishes, and let the children have a happy birthday?”
"You can educate children 365 days, why teach children to be human beings on their birthdays?”
"This is for unknown purposes, men are cultivated exclusively**. ”
And so on. Subsequently, Dr. Tao Yong had to delete the long article he had written for his daughter's birthday.
As a professional dad who has been at home for 12 years, although I can't compare with Dr. Tan Yong, as a father, I would also like to say a few words about this matter related to children's education.
Combined with my own experience, I will talk about it casually.
I am a father with two daughters at home, and I guided her to learn to wash dishes from the age of three, and by the time she was four years old, almost all of the hygiene things at home, including washing dishes, were all of them.
My sister is three years younger than my sister, and my sister has been washing for two years, that is, when my sister is three years old, she also began to learn to wash dishes and clean while playing.
It's true that it can't be washed clean at first, but it doesn't matter. I'd always be watching, careful about breaking the bowl and getting cut or lifting a heavy object, more often than not, explaining and then complimenting me on a regular basis.
Now my sister is 11 years old and my sister is 8 years old, and as long as they are at home (thanks to the love of the state, lunch at school from Monday to Friday), the cleaning and hygiene after meals is always theirs, whether they take turns to wash or discuss.
Washing and cooking, washing hands and serving meals, washing dishes after meals, kitchen hygiene, and cleaning the home on weekends are just the most basic things in life. However, it is the direct foundation for them to establish confidence in their ability to live and work as they grow up.
It is precisely because these things are so small that they are very suitable for young children to learn and do at the same time, and it is just right to start from these to cultivate children's hands-on ability and self-care ability.
My eldest daughter is in the fifth grade this year, and her academic performance has always been at the top, and she likes to read very much (probably since the first grade, she has personally accompanied her to read Journey to the West, Dream of Red Mansions, which has a lot to do with it), and she has to take care of herself every day in addition to studying. **Tomato** She has written tens of thousands of words, not to mention that the four famous books have long been familiar with her heart, and reading other extracurricular books and writing articles has become her daily routine.
Whenever she has free time, she reads books, and I already feel a little ashamed of her composition and calligraphy (I only studied in high school for half a year).
So I bought her a bicycle and often drove her out to exercise more.
Back to the protagonist of today's incident, the doctor's daughter is 12 years old, it seems that the dishes can be washed, maybe the mother is too doting and rarely lets her do these things, and washing the dishes on her birthday has actually become a "news controversy" ...... children's education
It's really an eye-opener, especially the comments of netizens with ulterior motives, it feels like they are all pouring out their misfortunes.
However, the whole thing also shows that the words of the ancestor may be true from another level: "A loving mother has many defeated children".
Under normal circumstances, fathers are stricter and want their children to be able to do everything and be good on the premise of ensuring safety.
But most mothers are different, try not to do what they can, even if they are tired and tired, they want their children to be bored to fly.
There is nothing wrong with such a mother, a mother just wants to instinctively protect her child to the greatest extent, which is the greatness of maternal love.
However, children's basic ability education is not only in school, but also in the family, parents teach by words and deeds, excessive indulgence is not to love them, but is very likely to harm them.
Before the age of 7, children have strong learning ability and are very interested in everything, which is the best period to start learning to take care of themselves and develop their learning ability.
This is the accumulation of thousands of years of human experience, and any primary school in the world begins at about this age.
As long as the child enters adolescence after the age of 12, it is impossible for you to teach by example, not only because the school work is more arduous at this time, but also because they are beginning to have their own ideas, and they are often the kind that come to them with their parents.
I think this is the so-called "adolescent rebellious period".
During this period, she learned to wash vegetables and cook such a "little thing"?They are not interested at all, and they feel that it is better to order takeout.
Washing dishes?What doesn't exist would rather be thrown away than washed.
It is said that it is a rebellious period, and a little less spark between parents and children is already Amitabha, who would dare to let them do housework, which should be done by parents?
And they always have the shield of learning as an excuse, even if the actual academic performance is a mess.
Then it gets even worse: I can't and don't want to learn how to wash and cook, I completely ignore the personal hygiene of my room, and my family relationship is cold and tense for a long time.
And then continue to develop, the ability to take care of oneself in life and study during the university period is seriously insufficient, and it is not surprising that some people may even bring a whole suitcase of dirty clothes home during the winter and summer vacations.
You think that's all there is to it?
I'm sorry, but it's only getting worse, and it looks like it's going on in a completely irreversible trend.
After graduating, I was very afraid of social interaction because of my own ability limitations, and even if I had a very small and narrow range of contact, it was just a few people.
Withdrawn, impulsive, and extremely lazy have been fully formed, and staying at home all day is either playing games or surfing the Internet, even if they go out occasionally, it is natural to reach out and ask their parents for money, and they can spend it in an instant.
Family affection, day and night are basically not so concerned about them anymore.
Work?It is basically impossible for the family to have a surplus of food and a loving mother, even if it is occasionally out of the house to work, it is not long. Then he said: "Staying at home with your parents is also a kind of work to express filial piety", and he was extremely impatient when the pay was less.
This is the extremism that has been very popular in recent years, and it is still popular on the Internet with great fanfare, and there are really many like-minded followers.
After this kind of person gnaws away his family property and gnaws his parents to death, he is not a tool for others, and there is a high probability that he will become a representative of extremism.
Getting married and having children?Don't even think about it, they can't take care of themselves, they have the confidence and courage to take care of others
What's more, there are also the parents, grandparents and grandparents of the other party who have never met the old Longzhong? !
This is also the fundamental reason why most of today's young people are reluctant to live with their parents after they finally start a family, and it is also an unstable factor that this newly established marriage and family cannot last long.
And those homeless people who ended up angering their parents and forcing them to run away from homeis sloppy and sloppy at home, and proclaims unashamedly on the Internet all day long: "It's a very ridiculous thing to waste your most youthful and beautiful time on having children (referring to yourself) who don't know if you can become a talent." ”
Why do they think that?Is this what they really think?
They will want to do this because they didn't even learn the most basic self-care skills when they were young, they completely lacked the confidence to live independently, and they didn't bother to study again when they grew up, and they formed this lazy and sloppy bad habit in the long run.
Eventually, work, socializing, and hard work are slowly insulatedThere is no plan for the family and future ideals, let alone the reverence for the basic human ethics of caring for each other, caring for the young and honoring the elderly.
They are at a loss about their future, and their parents, grandparents and other family members and relatives are automatically thousands of miles away, even if there is still a little family affection, they can't help because of their own lack of ability.
Of course, what I am talking about is only an extreme case of letting it go on for a long time.
But we are not often seen on the news someThere are piles of garbage and cockroaches everywhere in a rented guest room
The child of a certain family is twenty or thirty years old, and he spends his days at home, playing with his mobile phone in bed, and does nothing
A certain child ran away from home because of a little family triviality for a few years and has not been heard from for decadesSo-and-so killed his parents in anger, and so on.
Why has this kind of thing been happening in recent years?
Perhaps this is inseparable from the self-care ability and confidence-building education of our children when they are young, which is caused by the disconnection of education when we are parents.
Therefore, the education and education of children are as important as the education, especially before the age of 7, and it is necessary to seize the time, and no matter how late it is until the age of 12.
Because it's too late to try harder in the future.
Unless, a very serious sudden change in the family may wake up a small number of people with a very low probability.
Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren", "people's fate is almost doomed" and so on are often still in the ears, but they always give people a feeling of exhaustion and poor donkey skills and want to give up.
But after all, it is our own birth, if our parents can still make amends if they can still make amends, as parents, will we watch our children slowly degenerate like I described above?
Apparently not by individuals.
Therefore, the most anxious and concerned are still our parents, and others are probably not too big to watch the excitement.