The mobile phone "dingding" for a long time, it turned out to be a few texts sent by high school classmate Lu. To sum it up in 5 words:
He doesn't care about me.
During the meeting, she said: In the first half of the year, she was not in good health, had a small operation, and is still recuperating at home, taking advantage of this time she has been learning the piano that she has always been interested in. When she got home, she told her lover the news, and said that she hoped to open her own piano studio in the future
If you like to play by yourself, forget it, don't think about opening any studio, you see how difficult it is to maintain the teacher who teaches you to play the piano!
There was no further argument about it, but they had a big fight that night over another trivial matter.
Lu also knew that her level was far from teaching others to play, and she also knew that running a studio was not easy, and it was almost impossible for her to give up her programming work to start a business. Even if his husband responds to her and tells her that what he says is true, but,For her, these "facts" don't matter!
The important thing is that she discovers a trait of herself, a possibility, a part of herself that has been neglected since childhood. When she shared this possibility of her future with her lover, she was interrupted all at once. It was not cold water that woke her up, but extinguished her hope. As said above, she knows what the truth is, how it should be, how it should be, how it should be, but that's not what she wants. What she needs is: to be seen!
It's like obsessive-compulsive disorder, where patients know what to do and what they shouldn't do, but they still can't resist the strength in their hearts. What's the point?It is the once unfulfilled and suppressed wishes and possibilities.
Zhao Feng, the protagonist of the movie "Amateur**", likes to climb because only standing at the top is the moment when everyone looks up, and he also mentioned that he liked to climb stairs when he was a child. Why is it so enjoyable for him to stand on a high place, or to be looked up to by others?If he could have known why this part came about, he might still be a parkour enthusiast, but he would certainly not be a loser anymore, no longer Salted Fish No. 1.
The pent-up desire, which has never had the opportunity to be seen, will be presented by some chance, and its appearance may not be so timely, and you have your "should, must": you know that you are 99% sure, but you are worried about 1%. I understand that your purpose is not to fulfill your unfulfilled wishes, but the neglected parts of your life need to be seen, understood, cared for, and comforted. It has nothing to do with what the facts are, whether it is a real tiger or a fake tiger per se. Because of course you know intellectually that a fake tiger can't come true, you just lack the courage to face this "mask". The repressed parts need to be discovered, and courage and strength must be constantly instilled.
Discovery, which can also be seen as "awareness", is the first step;
With awareness, man is a continuous whole, not broken with the past, knowing why he is the way he is, and not being dragged along by desires;Everything that happens is selective, it is conscious, and it is a state of suspended attention.
Perfusion, which can also be seen as a flowing perpetual motion machine, is an important second step;
If we compare people to a pipe, only when the pipe is filled with water can it flow alive, otherwise, the pipe will quickly weather.
Morita**'s core response to neurosis (obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety disorder, etc.) is "go with the flow, do what you should do", you can't take it as a goal state, otherwise it's easy to fall into the strange circle of "whether I do it naturally, whether I do what I should do" The strange circle, it should not become a test standard, but a life attitude, a guide. In fact, the extent to which you are able to be aware and aware of yourself is also the extent to which you can adapt.
When you stay aware, in the process of being aware, you don't have to twist with yourself anymore, and the moment is smooth and flowing. If you continue to be aware, your body and mind will flow automatically, and the symptoms will disappear long ago.
Mr. Li HongfuAnapana in the book "Defeating Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder".Through the training of observing the breath, the ability to be aware of the present moment is cultivated, and the previously suppressed parts will gradually appear in the practice of meditation and breathing, and the appearance is healing. Meditation and Breathlessness practice twice a day, no less than 30 minutes a day, enhances not only awareness, but also the ability to instill in oneself the ability to go with the flow.