Chatting with people, smart people never talk about these 3 things, no matter how good the relations

There is a saying in Xunzi:

Words are right, and knowledge is also;Silently, you also know. ”

In interpersonal communication, the most feared thing is to communicate with each other in a shallow manner.

Some people, after not knowing each other for a long time, show themselves to others;There are also some people who think that by talking about some of their own private affairs, they can exchange the other party's true feelings.

However, many times, the more you talk, the easier it is to part ways.

As the saying goes: Illness comes from the mouth, and disaster comes from the mouth.

Really smart people know how to speak in moderation, and even if the relationship is good, they will not easily say these three things.

Own income, not to talk about

There are clouds in the "Zengguang Xianwen":

"Customers do not leave the goods, wealth does not show white, wealth does not show face. ”

Income is inherently a private matter, and it is not appropriate to disclose it to outsiders, so most people are tight-lipped about their income and will not talk about it easily.

Sometimes, however, a person will take the initiative to talk about his income in order to show his honesty.

People who are better than themselves will feel disdainful, while those who are inferior to themselves will be psychologically unbalanced, causing jealousy and dissatisfaction.

These emotions can affect your interactions with the other person, making the relationship delicate and complicated.

Moreover, talking about one's own income is likely to expose one's own personal privacy.

Saw a post on the web.

At a party, because the girl wanted to fit in quickly, she complained to a few people about her low income when chatting, thinking that this would make others accept her better.

During the exchange, she met a boy she liked, so she took the initiative to strike up a conversation.

Seeing that the boy also looks good at himself, Xiaoqing is very happy.

Unexpectedly, a few people who were chatting together just now pulled the boy aside and muttered a few words in a low voice.

Later, Xiaoqing learned from the boys that those people were gossiping with the boys that her income was not high, and her family background was definitely not good, so it was best not to get too close to her.

Sometimes, don't overestimate human nature, in the face of money, the ugly side of human nature will not only be exposed, but also infinitely magnified.

So when chatting with people, try to avoid talking about your income. Not only does this not leave both parties in awkwardness, but it is also a sign of respect for yourself and others.

Avoiding talking about this sensitive topic will help you better in your relationship.

Past achievements, not to mention

Cai Kangyong once said:

"Life is like a river, everyone has their own riverbed upstream and downstream, and the past is the upstream of that river, and your current behavior is determining your riverbed downstream. ”

Indeed, everyone has a wonderful story in their life.

But we need to understand that the story of the past does not determine your future, and the past achievements are not representative of your future achievements.

Talking too much about your past achievements can easily give the impression that you are a conceited person.

When talking about past achievements, people can fall into a state of self-satisfaction, which can easily make the other person inadvertently feel a sense of superiority, and therefore feel uncomfortable and even disgusted.

Especially at the wine table, there is often a kind of person who "thinks about the past" when he opens and closes his mouth, and when the emotions are in place, the words are fierce and impassioned.

As everyone knows, the other people at the dinner table are either hypocritically pandering, or secretly laughing in their hearts.

Warren Buffett once said:

"Don't always talk about your own achievements, focus more on other people's achievements. ”

I think so. The desire to be recognized is psychologically a need for respect in Maslow's needs.

The need for respect refers to the fact that everyone wants to be recognized for their abilities, which in turn boosts their self-confidence and self-esteem.

What everyone really cares about is actually himself.

Therefore, when chatting with people, talk less about your past experiences and instead invite others to share their achievements.

Not only will this make the other person feel valued, but you will also feel humble and low-key, and will prefer to continue to associate with you because of this.

Instead of dwelling on past achievements, listen to the achievements of others.

Humility and low-key are always the best rules of interpersonal communication.

Don't talk about your own grievances

Some people say:"The grievances of adults cannot be shared with others. ”

That's true. In life, everyone will inevitably experience some grievances.

Sometimes, it's tempting to talk about it and ask for comfort and encouragement.

However, over-talking can leave the other person feeling exhausted and helpless, and in severe cases, it may even ruin the relationship.

In the adult world, everyone is moving forward with a heavy load, there is no so-called easy, behind the laughter, there is often a lot of chicken feathers.

Always talking about grievances with others can make people feel that you are a negative and low-energy person.

From a psychological point of view, emotions are contagious.

When you tell your story, the negative emotions that accompany it, such as frustration and anger, will also be transmitted and affected by the other person, and will make him feel deeply powerless.

Mr. Lu Xun once said:

"The joys and sorrows of human beings are not the same, I just think they are noisy. ”

In this world, there is no real empathy, no matter how much grievances and sadness there are, many times it is just a matter of one person.

Everyone is trying their best for life, and if you talk about your life and troubles too much, you will only get bored by others.

So, when chatting with others, be sure to avoid talking about your grievances as much as possible.

The people who really care about whether you are tired of flying are just the most important people around you.

Compared with confiding grievances, actively resolving one's negative emotions is the transparency and wisdom of an adult.

Ernest Hemingway once said:

It took two years for humans to learn to speak, but it took sixty years to learn to shut up. ”

There are two things that need to be cultivated in life, one is the heart and the other is the mouth.

It is self-cultivation not to talk about others easily, but it is wisdom not to reveal too much personal privacy.

A person with high emotional intelligence knows how to use less words to distance right and wrong, in exchange for peace, and rely on silence to stay away from disasters and good fortune.

As it says in the Tao Te Ching:

"It's better to be in the middle than to talk too much. ”

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