We visit each other every month, but I find that every time I go to his house, my mother repeatedly emphasizes that "girls should be sensible" and "girls should not be too intimate", which makes me feel embarrassed. My boyfriend didn't stand up for me, he just laughed awkwardly with me. Later, I learned that his mother was not satisfied with me, thinking that I was not sensible, could not run a family, and that my family conditions were worse than his. I was hurt by these words, and I felt that his mother didn't know me. But I still go to his house often to help his mother with the housework and want to prove myself. But it turns out that doing so only makes them think that I am too humble and have no self-esteem. In the end, we broke up, and I understood a truth, love needs to be equal, and you can't lose yourself, otherwise you will lose love sooner or later. Zhang Jing, 32 years old, marriage counselor: Before getting married, you must understand the other party's family background and personality characteristics, which is very important for the stability of the marriage. My ex-husband and I met at a friend's party, and we have similar personalities and are both cheerful people.
After being together, I found that he has many advantages, such as diligence and strong sense of family responsibility. But I didn't learn about his family background, his parents were divorced, and he didn't get a good home education since he was a child. After we got married, we encountered a lot of problems, such as his bad relationship with his parents, which led to conflicts in our family. Also, he sometimes has an affair with a female colleague, which makes me very uneasy. Eventually, we divorced, and I realized that the stability of a marriage depends not only on the relationship between two people, but also on understanding each other's family background and personality traits. Before getting married, you should get to know each other better to avoid major conflicts after marriage. Love is one of the most beautiful things in life, but it is also the most likely thing to lose yourself. In a relationship, we may give a lot for each other, but at the same time, we need to protect ourselves from being hurt by our feelings. In this article, I would like to share some thoughts and opinions on how to protect yourself in a relationship. First of all, we need to be clear about our bottom line and principles.
In a relationship, we may face many choices and trade-offs, but we need to learn to stick to our bottom line and principles. For example, in Dong Yuehua's story, she initially moved to her own place in order to help her boyfriend reduce the pressure of rent. However, as time went on, the boyfriend did not pay the rent and did not bear the living expenses. At this time, Dong Yuehua needs to clarify his bottom line and principles, and he can't let his own efforts become the other party's ** to hurt himself. Therefore, we need to be clear about our bottom line and principles in our relationship, and not easily make decisions against our will. Second, we need to know how to protect ourselves. In relationships, we may face various challenges and difficulties, such as emotional betrayal, emotional exhaustion, and so on. At this time, we need to learn to protect ourselves, stop paying too much for each other, and protect our hearts and emotions. For example, in the girl's story, her boyfriend often needs to work overtime, and she always goes to him, cooks for him, and helps him relieve the pressure of work.
However, these efforts were not recognized and respected by her boyfriend's family, but instead became evidence for her boyfriend's family to question whether she was upside down. Therefore, we need to learn to protect ourselves, not to give too much for the other person, and to protect our dignity and self-esteem. Finally, we need to know how to love ourselves. In a relationship, we may make a lot of sacrifices and sacrifices for each other, but we also need to learn to love ourselves, know how to enjoy life, and maintain our independence and self-worth. For example, in Dong Yuehua's story, she did a lot of things for her boyfriend, but she didn't get the other party's return and respect. At this time, she needs to learn to love herself, maintain her independence and self-esteem, and stop giving too much for the other person. In short, in a relationship, we need to learn to protect ourselves, stick to the bottom line, and not be hurt by feelings. At the same time, we also need to learn to love ourselves and maintain our independence and self-worth. May everyone be able to have a healthy, equal and respectful relationship.
When it comes to love, we are often overshadowed by romantic fantasies, but love in reality is often not so beautiful. Recently, a friend confided in me about the conflict between her and her boyfriend, which made me think deeply. She admits that in romantic relationships, she often feels torn between giving and being given. This reminds me of a saying: "The love that requires you to exchange your self-esteem is not love at all." In real life, we've probably all experienced similar confusion. For example, when we give too much in a relationship and the other person does not cherish it, or even blames us for it, should we reflect on the true face of the relationship?Perhaps, we need to learn to cherish ourselves more, instead of giving up our bottom line and principles in order to cater to the other party. However, we must not despair of love because of this. Love should be treated as equals and with mutual respect, not one being sacrificed by the other.
When we know how to cherish ourselves and protect our bottom line, it will be easier for us to gain the respect and cherishment of each other. Love others first love yourself, this sentence may not only be a slogan, but a deep reflection on our concept of love. On this issue, I believe that we need to establish our own emotional bottom line, learn to reject unhealthy relationship dynamics, and protect our self-esteem and dignity. It's not selfishness, it's about being responsible for oneself and respecting love. After all, a healthy love relationship is built on the basis of equality, respect, and understanding between both parties. Of course, this does not mean that we should have a pessimistic attitude towards love, but that we should be more rational and mature on the road of pursuing love. We need to learn to protect ourselves in love, not sacrifice our dignity and bottom line for the sake of so-called love. Only in this way can we truly find the person who is worthy of our efforts and establish a healthy and beautiful love relationship. Love should be about mutual respect and understanding.
In the process of pursuing love, we should understand that loving ourselves does not mean being selfish, but respecting ourselves and love. I hope that everyone who is confused in love can find the happiness that truly belongs to them.