Girls are taught by their parents to be sensible from an early age, and they are not allowed to fight with their younger brothers, and they are not allowed to fight with others......When I grew up, I was taught by my parents not to be discordant with my in-laws, and to be tolerant and ......
Many women do so, and they tolerate and tolerate everywhere in their lives.
As a result, the more you treat others without a bottom line, the more unappreciative others are. In the end, the relationship didn't get along, but it provoked himself to be wrong.
Therefore, the more sensible a woman is, the more miserable her life is.
Women should never do this.
01. Bottomless tolerance.
Every woman is a unique angel, a first-time wife, they all like to get along well with their in-laws, and hope that their relationship with each other will be free and intimate.
So in the in-laws' house, even if others say the wrong thing, or everything is directed at themselves, they will choose to be patient. However, the more she endured the other party, the stronger she became. Eventually, the woman becomes humble and hurts herself.
Liu Na has been married for four years, and her husband Zhang Ming is a taxi driver with a monthly income of nearly 10,000 yuan. Liu Na has no job and concentrates on her husband and children at home.
Liu Na is gentle and kind by nature, but maybe a good person is not a good person. Her mother-in-law is tricky and eccentric, yin and yang. A lot of family matters are not handled properly.
Because Zhang Mingyue's income is nearly 10,000 yuan, her mother-in-law obviously has a pension and does not spend it, and she says every day that she has no money. The appendicitis surgery asked Zhang Ming to pay the hospitalization fee in advance, and Liu Na had to buy the firewood, rice, oil and salt at home to buy ......
For the sake of family harmony, Liu Na chose to tolerate her mother-in-law. But the most incomprehensible thing is that once their relatives held a happy event at home, and her mother-in-law actually asked Liu Na to spend money on a banquet.
Liu Na couldn't help but be angry, and confronted her mother-in-law and said: "I haven't taken any of the money, I bought all the firewood, rice, oil and salt at home, and I spent ...... money when you were sick and hospitalized."Liu Na told all the grievances over the years. But the mother-in-law said, "The money is all earned by my son, and my son was raised by me." ”
Liu Na was so angry that she cried in the house. When Zhang Ming came back, her mother-in-law also sued Zhang Ming first, saying that Liu Na was not filial, quarreled with her, and deliberately angered her.
Zhang Ming couldn't help but break up and gave Liu Na two slaps. Liu Na was so angry that she took the child back to her parents' house.
After returning home, Liu Na's mother bitterly persuaded Liu Na to go back to live, saying that Zhang Ming had the ability to make a lot of money and had no bad habits, so it was difficult to find such a man.
A few days later, Zhang Ming came to pick Liu Na home. Liu Na's mother told Zhang Ming all this, and Zhang Ming admitted his mistake to his mother-in-law and promised never to wronged Liu Na again in the future.
A woman can't indulge others without a bottom line, which will only make others gain an inch, and after a long time, he will think that you should take it for granted.
Especially the in-laws' family, which is originally the relationship between the original family and the new family, cannot be implicated in everything. If you tolerate each other for the sake of a good relationship, you will let yourself continue to suffer.
It's not easy to live, you can endure it for a while, and you can't bear it for a lifetime, and the Qing people who carry everything will have a lasting relationship.
02. Acceptance without a bottom line.
The more embarrassed you are to refuse others, the more you will bully you, there is a saying that "if you are so good that there is no bottom line, others will be so bad that there is no end, and help and kindness should be a little sharp", which is not unreasonable.
Many women will accept other people's requests without a bottom line because they are too kind, so that once or twice will become many times later. After a long time, it will accumulate into resentment in the heart.
Women must know how to refuse, take what they should bear, and don't bear what they shouldn't. You must know that a good relationship is built on the basis of mutual respect, not in exchange for bottomless acceptance. If you exchange it like this, the relationship is not a real feeling.
Bai Yansong said: "Why do others take you less and less seriously, because you are too easy to talk, you will agree to anything, and you will give you anything as soon as you ask for it." ”
Liu Jie is a junior college student, and because she doesn't know how to refuse, she is regarded as a good person by others. Signing for class, usually bringing food, roommates come to her whenever something happens, and she herself is responsive.
However, something unexpected happened to her. One day she went to prepare for the English level 6 exam, and her roommate wanted her to help with a class, but Liu Jie refused, and her roommate got angry.
Since then, her roommate didn't say a word to her, and Liu Jie was sad for a long time, she couldn't figure it out, she was usually on call, why she turned her face and didn't recognize anyone because of this trivial matter.
Later, after thinking about it for a long time, she figured it out, it turned out that she was too good at talking, and accepting other people's requests without a bottom line was destined to have a good ending, and the feelings exchanged for grievances would not last long.
When you don't get what you want, you have to know how to say no. Don't think it's important, you have to be with others. Do what you have to do and don't waste your time on things that don't matter.
A good life is not so complicated, as long as you know how to make trade-offs at the right time, there will not be too many contradictions, and when you encounter inappropriate things, you must make trade-off measures and don't hurt yourself.
03. No bottom line of pay.
In this world, all love has a cost, and if you don't care about the cost, you will lose money in the end, consuming your own time and energy.
If there is no response to the blind cheap payment, such a payment is worthless.
Sun Li is a 33-year-old unmarried young woman who works as an editor at a magazine and earns a good monthly income. However, Sun Li is a girl from the countryside, and she changed her fate by studying.
Therefore, she is usually very frugal, basically does not spend money, but sends the money back to her parents in the countryside, because she still has two younger brothers who are not married. Mother often taught Sun Li that the eldest sister should be a mother and treat her younger brother well.
She worked in the magazine for three years, and the money she earned was used to build a house for her family, which was kept by her parents for the marriage of her unmarried brother. For this reason, people in the company said that Sun Li was a "brother demon", no one dared to marry her, and no one dared to introduce her to a partner.
Sun Li herself felt uncomfortable, feeling that she had changed her fate by studying, but there was no need to bear so much responsibility. She once thought about ignoring her family, but she couldn't let go of responsibility and family affection, she felt that if she let go of immorality, Sun Li struggled between responsibility and grievances.
Women should not pay without a bottom line, even between relatives. It's okay to help for a while, but you can't help for a lifetime, and paying all the time will overdraft you.
Any effort should be rewarded, so that there will be psychological balance, reasonable value exchange, maintain the normal development of things, and maintain the stability of the relationship.
It is better not to give without giving in return, and not to think of yourself as the Virgin Mary to save the world. It is far more useful to give a loved one a way to survive than to give him gold and silver.
04. The more sensible a woman is, the more bitter her life is, because sensible women do not divide interests by accounting, and friendship is far more important than interests in their eyes. They would rather sacrifice themselves than hurt others.
This self-sacrificing way of seeking peace is the greatest disrespect for oneself, and if a person does not even respect himself, no one will respect you.
So, women, don't be too sensible, behind your sensibility is often to pay a heavy price for yourself. In the long run, you will ruin your life.
May you be gentle with yourself, kind to others, and don't forget to love yourself more while loving others.
So that life will be happy!
*Originated from the Internet invasion and deletion.