One sunny weekend, what was originally our plan to go to the park with our children changed due to an emergency. My father-in-law has always been a special person who takes care of our family, getting up early every day to make breakfast, telling the family over and over again before leaving, and he saves his salary and says that he will take it when we need it, which makes my wife and I very grateful. However, his life after retirement has caused us some trouble.
One day, my wife and I were downstairs chatting about the recent rise in housing prices, when suddenly my father-in-law hurriedly ran down and said to us with an anxious face, "I just took out my retirement salary for many years and am going to help you buy a house." He handed us a bag with money, "This is 500,000, it should be enough for a down payment, right?"”
I took the bag, feeling flustered. My father-in-law, who had always been a frugal man, had not touched his retirement salary for ten years, and now he suddenly came up with such a large sum of money, and my wife and I tacitly decided not to accept this generosity. We understand that it means a lot to my father-in-law, but for us, it was too much to expect.
When I tried to calm my father-in-law's emotions, I tried to keep my composure: "Father-in-law, please don't worry, we can discuss it again." ”
How can it be discussed again?The location of this house and ** are very ideal, hurry up and check it out!The father-in-law was visibly anxious.
My wife and I exchanged awkward glances, and we both felt a little bitter in our hearts. The house was really nice, but we didn't plan to buy at this stage, and more importantly, we didn't want to live with our father-in-law. We can't thank our father-in-law enough for his help, but a family needs their own space and privacy.
Father-in-law, we are really not in a hurry to buy a house, you can get this money back first. Let's wait until we really need it. The wife tried to convince her father-in-law.
Don't think I'm helping you, it's my own business, I want to live with you. The father-in-law said angrily.
My wife and I both understand that my father-in-law really wants to be with us, and he has worked hard for this since he retired. But we also have to think about his convenience and our convenience.
Father-in-law, it's not that we don't want to live with you, it's just that we need to take into account the Xi of our children and you, and that's for your good. "I tried to find a way to get a compromise.
Don't make excuses for me anymore, I'm alone after I retire, I just want to be with you. I'm proposing this money for your sake as well. My father-in-law was a little excited.
We felt a little helpless and understood my father-in-law's feelings, but there were still long days ahead and we were confused about it.
Father-in-law, it's not that we really don't want to live with you, it's just not suitable right now. You can get the money back first and wait until we have our own plans, right?The wife tried to soften her father-in-law's heart.
You don't understand my ......The father-in-law sighed with some annoyance.
At this time, the child ran over and said, "Grandpa, if my mother and I live with you in the future, I will help you with haircuts, massages, and good food." ”
Silly boy, you don't understand. The father-in-law gently touched the child's head, with tears in his eyes.
He turned to me and his wife and said, "I'll save this money for now, and I'll talk about it when you really need it." ”
We looked at the back of our father-in-law, and we all felt sad in our hearts. He was actually really reluctant, maybe he really felt lonely. We have to communicate well with my father-in-law, find the right time, and not let him think that we are shirking. This issue needs to be resolved as soon as possible.
Over the next few days, my wife and I fell into a state of distress over how to solve the problem. We may feel a little cold, but we also understand that we can't sacrifice our personal space with our children just because we are grateful to our father-in-law. After all, comfort in life requires a certain amount of independence and personal space.
One weekend after dinner, while the kids were playing outside, my wife and I decided to have a serious conversation with my father-in-law.
Father-in-law, it's not that we don't want to live with you, it's just that every family needs some private space, and children need their own place. "I'll try to explain.
When you say that, do you think I'm getting old and getting annoying?The father-in-law said angrily.
Not so, father-in-law. We are very grateful to you and just wish we could keep some of our own space. The wife also expressed her thoughts seriously.
I'm doing this for your own good, I feel lonely living alone, and I want to be with you. My father-in-law couldn't hide the sadness in his heart.
However, this conversation did not lead to anything, and the contradictions were still not resolved. We started looking for a suitable house privately, hoping to solve this problem.
However, in the process, something happened that we didn't expect at all. We noticed that my father-in-law often coughed violently at night and looked very uncomfortable. We immediately took him to the hospital for a check-up and the results showed that he had a lung infection and needed to be done as soon as possible**. This news made us feel guilty because we had not been able to communicate with my father-in-law smoothly and had not been able to detect his discomfort in time.
In the hospital room, my father-in-law looked a little tired, and he suddenly brought up the previous topic again: "You know how bad I am now, I'm home alone, and you don't care about me at all!".”
Father-in-law, this is our responsibility, we will care more about you, and we will pay more attention to your physical condition in the future. "I felt a lot of insecurity and guilt deep inside.
It's too late to say that now, you just need to know that I'm lonely when I live alone. The father-in-law's voice was full of sadness and loss.
My wife and I were deeply touched and realized that my father-in-law was not deliberately causing us trouble, but was really suffering from loneliness. We understand that we cannot afford to delay this issue any longer and that a decision must be taken.
Father-in-law, we are sorry, we were wrong, and now we have decided to find a suitable house together that will allow us to live together. "I stand firmly.
My father-in-law's eyes flashed with relief, and he held our hands tightly and said movingly, "Thank you, I really want to live with you." ”
We understand that this decision is not just a simple compromise, but also an inner acceptance and acceptance. This is also a reward for my father-in-law's long-term love and dedication. Hopefully, this time, we will be able to truly solve the family's problems.
In the days that followed, my wife and I found ourselves in a dilemma. We are well aware of my father-in-law's enthusiasm and help, and we are grateful for his dedication to us over the years. However, we are also hesitant, although we do not exclude living with our father-in-law, but at the moment, we are eager to have our own independent living space.
About a month later, my wife and I decided to look at other houses with my father-in-law and maybe find a more suitable option. But as we looked at a few houses, my father-in-law was clearly not satisfied. He has all sorts of reasons for not fitting in to the neighborhood we are looking at. In the process, we began to disagree over the choice of house, and gradually revealed contradictions. My wife and I were at odds, and she was more accommodating to my father-in-law's wishes, while I insisted that we needed our own space. This contradiction began to affect our daily life and even led to frequent quarrels.
A recent argument silenced both my wife and me. We had an argument over the timing of my father-in-law's health check-up, and I wanted to schedule the check-up as soon as possible, but my wife thought it would take a more appropriate time. The altercation exacerbated tensions between me and my wife. After that, our communication became less and there were even signs of a cold war.
This state lasted for some time, and for the sake of family harmony, we had to find a way to solve the problem. But this is not a problem that can be solved in a moment, and it requires more communication and understanding. We hope to be able to improve slowly in the future.
My father-in-law's words have always haunted our hearts. We know he's a man who can't forget things. He was often alone at home during this time, rarely interacted with us, and sometimes seemed heavy, which made us feel uneasy. Why did the originally harmonious family relationship become so stiff because of this problem?
A few days ago, my wife and I discussed it and decided to find an opportunity to sit down with my father-in-law and talk. So, on the weekend, we asked my father-in-law to go to a nearby park. There were not many people, and the children were playing next to me, so my wife and I found a quiet bench to sit down and prepare to communicate with my father-in-law.
Father-in-law, we would like to take this opportunity to communicate with you. I tried to speak calmly.
What else is there to say?As I said, I just want to live with you. The father-in-law replied impatiently.
We know you genuinely want to live with us, but ......"The wife also tried to explain our thoughts to her father-in-law.
But what?It's so lonely for me to live alone, don't you understand?The father-in-law said with some emotion.
We understand, but we also need some personal space, and children also need an environment of their own. "I'll try to explain.
I know I'm a bit overbearing, but you also have to understand that I'm also doing it for your good. The father-in-law said helplessly.
I feel sad in my heart. My father-in-law's genuine desire to live with us stems from his love for us, but the family needs understanding and respect from both parties.
Father-in-law, we understand your feelings, but we also need some living space of our own. This house thing, we will think about it. "I tried to express our attitude in a calm tone.
I know you don't want to live with me, I've been looking for a house these days and plan to move out. The father-in-law said suddenly.
My wife and I were a little surprised, we didn't expect the guild to make such a decision. Although I was a little relieved, I also felt guilty that we were not completely reluctant to live with my father-in-law, but that we needed some time and space.
Are you really moving out?The wife asked, somewhat surprised.
Yes, I know you don't want to, and I don't want to force you. It's my business and I'll take care of it myself. The father-in-law said firmly.
But father-in-law, you move out, so ......"I tried to keep it.
Don't worry, I'll take care of myself, and if you guys need me, feel free to let me know and I'll help. The father-in-law smiled open-mindedly.
Looking at my father-in-law's open-minded smile, my wife and I felt as if we were being clutched. I thought that this matter could be resolved through good communication, but I didn't expect the guild to make such a decision. Are we being too selfish?Or do we really need such independence?
We all fell into a moment of hesitation. Suddenly, the father-in-law broke the silence: "You really don't have to worry about me, you just have to take care of your own affairs, and I will live well." ”
We looked at each other, and our hearts welled up with sadness. Perhaps, we need to think carefully about our expectations of family and life.
It wasn't until dinner that my father-in-law and we avoided the topic just now. At the dinner table, the atmosphere was a little awkward, because we all knew that this problem had not really been solved. Although my father-in-law didn't mention it, we felt the loss and sadness in his heart. We have to communicate with him well.
Father-in-law, do you have any plans for retirement?Or is there something in particular you would like to do?"I tried to start the conversation from a light-hearted perspective.
I don't have any special plans, maybe it's to accompany you and your children, which can be regarded as an old man's responsibility. The father-in-law said a little bit and stopped.
Father-in-law, in fact, we are very grateful for your care and help to us all the time. But now that we have our own way of life and pace, it can be a little uncomfortable to live together all of a sudden. The wife spoke tactfully.
I know, you don't like me to interrupt your life, and I don't want to force it. The father-in-law had a complicated expression.
Father-in-law, it's not that we don't like you, it's just that we feel that it's not good for you and us, and we want to make your life more comfortable. I hastened to explain.
Don't force yourself, I didn't ask for anything, it's just that it's too boring to live alone outside. "My father-in-law seems to be a little aggrieved.
We felt distressed, and we could feel the loneliness and helplessness of my father-in-law from his expression and tone. We understand that my father-in-law is a kind and selfless person, and he does not mean to disturb us, but just wants to be with us.
Father-in-law, can we discuss it?"I was trying to find a compromise.
Speak, I'll listen. The father-in-law smiled a little bitterly.
We don't want you to live alone, we will help you find a suitable place to live close to us as soon as possible, and we will honor you more. The wife said in a deep voice.
I'm Xi to living alone after I retire, so you don't have to worry about me so much. The father-in-law waved his hand.
Although you are used to Xi, we are not relieved and hope that you will spend more time with your children. I tried to persuade, "Besides, how about you use the money you used to spend on yourself?"”
Well, if you think so much about me, I will be content, and I will not have to embarrass you anymore. My father-in-law seemed relieved.
Despite the twists and turns of the conversation, we eventually found a relatively compromise solution. We decided to help my father-in-law find a suitable place to live, and to spend more time with him and honor him more. Conflicts in the family are difficult to avoid completely, but as long as we listen, tolerate and understand, we believe that the problem will eventually be resolved. Next, we need to seriously consider how to help my father-in-law find a suitable living environment for him. It's not easy, but it's up to us to do it. Because home is our common harbor. 100 help plan