**"The Water of the Waves", a large-scale description of spiritual dialogue, and meticulous psychological portrayal, comprehensively shows the protagonist Chi Dawei's mental journey struggling between ideals and reality, as if the soul is fighting.
Chi Dawei took his father and the saints in his "Sketches of Cultural Celebrities of the Chinese Dynasties" as an example, and he had a strong sense of self-esteem, and his intellectual integrity, character and integrity. The mountains look up, the scenery stops, although it can't be reached, the heart yearns for it.
When Chi Dawei first entered the Department of Health, he was blessed with a graduate degree, and it stands to reason that he should have a bright future. He wanted to become a useful person in his work with his own efforts, and go on step by step, but later he found that even though he had the ability and pride, he still seemed to be standing still. And because he was too idealistic, he offended Director Ma by making suggestions at the meeting, and since then he has been transferred to a marginal department such as the Chinese Medicine Association, where he has stayed for eight years. In the past eight years, many other colleagues have been promoted, and he is still a little clerk, experiencing all kinds of sadness, and his inner values are slowly collapsing.
What kind of person you are, you have to position yourself and grasp yourself. If you want to be high, then clear to the end, no desire or desire, but also mix up a realm, others dare not underestimate you. If you want to join the WTO, then put down your shelves and join the WTO. I'm afraid, I'm afraid, it's not like a four!It is not clear, it is turbid, it loses the advantages of good people, and learns the shortcomings of bad people".
Chi Dawei's persistence, as well as the arrogance of looking up to the sky and bowing to the ground, made him more and more marginalized. After realizing that loftiness, arrogance and kindness would not work, he decided to start changing, and the process of change was very painful and painful in his heart. In the end, the contradiction between reality and ideals, and the confusion and difficulties of life, made Chi Dawei sigh that "survival is the only truth, and people cannot become spiritual wanderers". In the real world, people can't just have spirit, and in the face of reality, people are so small and powerless. One can only pay attention to the little thing under the nose, and the truth is obtained. The reality made him realize that personal dignity is not only mentioned in the face of cruel survival, and sometimes it is only by letting go of self-esteem that tangible benefits can be obtained. He finally succeeded, and he went from a marginal person to the director of the Department of Health.
At the end of **, Chi Dawei sincerely repented in front of his father's grave: "And I, your son, have taken another path with the tide in the reality that the general trend has no choice, where there are flowers, applause, virtual dignity and real interests, so I became a forced nihilist." This heartfelt text truly and delicately shows his pain, struggle, suffering, and even self-distorted inner monologue.
Judging from Chi Dawei's mental journey and behavior, he is both a loser of victory and a winner of defeat. He is not like Yan Zhihe, Yan Zhihe chose to insist on himself from the beginning, and was left out of the reality all his life, he was unwilling to get vested power, nor did he want to be entangled in personal belief and career development for a lifetime, in terms of career prospects, he chose to give up, in terms of personal belief and principles, he chose to stick to it, seek a trace of freedom in the cracks, indifferent to fame and fortune, see through life, and have a thorough understanding of life.
The process of Chi Dawei's initial belief to giving up and succumbing to reality is the process of wrestling with his soul.
What does a person have to live a good life?Knowing that he can do but is unwilling to give up his principles, and knowing that the current affairs are handsome, but insisting on his heart and refusing to give up, he has become Yan ZhiheOr give up the perseverance in your heart and become a pool Dawei who knows the current affairs?In the course of life, who has not experienced inner tearing and struggle?No matter what kind of self you want to become, no matter what kind of self you become, you must retain your kind nature and original intention, be poor and be good to yourself, and help the world if you are good, and stick to the feelings and mission of a scholar.