As the only son of Confucius, Kong Carp can be called the most concerned "second generation of stars" during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. In the eyes of most people, a super education expert like Confucius should be able to train his son very well, at least, not lower than the level of the "Ten Sages of Confucius".
But in fact, Kong Li's life is very ordinary, there are only a few words about him in the history books, and his popularity is not as good as even the most ordinary student of Confucius. Why is it that Kong Li, who has such a powerful father, has not been able to become a successful person in the secular sense?
Portrait of Kong carp In 532 BC, with the loud cry of a baby croaking to the ground, 19-year-old Confucius of Lu became a father.
19 years old, at the age of a college student who is not familiar with the world, but Confucius, who was smart and studious since childhood, has already held an important position in the Lu nobleman Ji Sun at this time, and is a proper young talent.
Even Lu Zhaogong, the king of Lu State, after hearing the good news of Confucius's happy son, sent someone to send a big red carp to congratulate him. Confucius was very moved and decided to "use local materials" and named his baby son "Kong Carp", the word Boyu.
In the process of growing up with Kong Carp, Confucius also put a lot of thought into it. The most noteworthy thing is that Kong Carp is equipped with "three mothers": one mother as a teacher, one mother as an adoptive mother, and one mother as a nanny. The three mothers were gentle and respectful, and gave Kong Carp good values and living habits guidance.
Confucius himself did not accompany Kong carp in his childhood, because since he was 23 years old, he began to accept apprentices in the countryside to teach and busy with his career, and students such as Yan Lu, Zeng Dian, and Ran Geng were recruited at this stage.
It was not until Kong Li was about 10 years old that Confucius officially participated in it, taking Kong Li into the "Chinese Studies" to cultivate his reading habits and group life ability.
As for the scene we imagine to personally teach Kong carp word by word, there is no such thing. Because after the age of 30, Confucius began to recruit disciples and became a pioneer and representative of private lectures, his time and energy were seriously squeezed, and he did not have much time to accompany Kong Li.
Kong Carp, like a left-behind child, grew up day by day.
When he grew up, Kong Carp, in the eyes of Confucius, who was accustomed to seeing excellent students, was really not outstanding. The few conversations between father and son are also more reprimanding than encouraging, more blaming than appreciative, and the air pressure is terrifyingly low.
Once, Confucius met Kong Lili in the courtyard and asked him, "Do you know "Zhou Nan" and "Zhao Nan"?”
Kong Li replied honestly: "I know a little about one or two chapters, but I don't remember the details." ”
Confucius immediately turned his face and scolded: "Why don't you even understand this?".Then how can you have insight and a way out?”
Another time, Confucius asked Confucius if he had studied the Book of Songs, and Kong Carp replied, "No." Confucius was furious again: "If you don't read the Book of Songs, how can you improve your language skills and express your thoughts?"”
The trembling Kong carp had just studied the "Book of Songs" for a few days, and was asked by Confucius: "Have you learned the "Book of Rites"?Kong Carp replied, "No." Confucius is another output: "If you don't study the Book of Rites well, how can you know the truth of being a person and doing things?"”
Because of frequent training, Kong Carp is very afraid of his father, as long as he sees his father in **, he will basically find a way to avoid it. After being reprimanded by his father, Kong Lili never dared to fight back, always lowered his head and ran back to the room to read a book with small steps.
In the eyes of Confucius's students, the scene of Confucius training his children is simply a textbook-like model of education. Some people even summarized this incident as an allusion to "Kong Li's passing through the court", and called the teacher's education of students "passing the court training". I don't know how the person concerned, Kong Li, felt after hearing this.
The portrait of Confucius could not satisfy his father in terms of learning, and Kong Lili was also anxious and confused. But fortunately, he quickly realized that everyone's talents are different, although his father is such a powerful person, but his qualifications are really ordinary. Instead of doing something that you are not good at in order to make others look up to you, it is better to live a low-key life and take on your own responsibilities.
After "reconciling" with himself, Kong Lili gradually found the value of life:
Before my father goes to class, he will clean the venue in advance and prepare the corresponding teaching aids
When my father was in class, he would serve tea and water to the students and do a good job of service
When his father's anniversary was insufficient, he would try his best to raise funds and be a good steward of his father's logistics
When his father is away from home all the year round and cannot take care of the family, he will take the initiative to take care of the housework, serve the elders, raise the children, and reduce the ...... of his father's worries
In those years of scarcity of materials and chaos, it was not as simple as we imagined that the whole family would have clothes to wear, food to eat, and medical treatment. It is said that Kong carp often needs to be busy until midnight to finish the day's affairs.
Everyone admires Confucius's great contribution to traveling around the world for more than ten years, but it is unknown whether Confucius can travel smoothly without his son Kong Li. From this point of view, Kong Carp's contribution is actually very large, but because what he does is too low-key and inconspicuous, it is selectively ignored by people.
In addition to being a strong backing for Confucius, Kong Carp also cultivated a very good son, Kong Ling.
Kong Ling not only behaved like his grandfather Confucius, but also inherited and carried forward the doctrine of Confucius, wrote the Confucian classic "The Mean", and formed his own academic ideological systemKong Ling was respected as a sage by Lu Miaogong, Fei Huigong and other monarchs, and his reputation was far and wideAfter Kong Ling passed on what he had learned in his life to his apprentices, the apprentices cultivated Mencius ......
It can be said that although Kong Li himself failed to carry forward his father's academic thoughts, he really managed to let Confucius have successors, so that Confucianism can be passed on from generation to generation.
Kong Ling's portrait: Why didn't Kong carp become a talent?In addition to the reasons for his qualifications, it is closely related to his indisputable personality and the fact that Confucius was not by his side for a long time and did not give him systematic education and companionship.
If Confucius can educate Kong Carp like he did with Yan Hui, even if Kong Carp's knowledge is not as good as Yan Hui, it will not be as good as Confucius's some ordinary **, right?
may be because Kong Li's life is too hard and exhaustive, and his life span is not long.
In 483 BC, Kong Li died of illness at the age of 51. His early death forced Confucius to send white-haired people to black-haired people.
After Kong Li's death, everything went as usual, even his wife quickly remarried, it seems that he did not leave any traces in this world, but I still want to pay high respect to Kong Li.
Kong Li's life seems to have no achievements, but he can keep his heart, not use his father's dazzling halo to compete for fame and fortune, not complain because his father rarely accompanies him, not jealous because his father is more dedicated to ** than to himself, and not sad and anxious because of ordinary life experience, which is a great realm in itself.
We should not use the secular value system of success to evaluate Kong Li, a person who is caring, educated, virtuous, and willing to dedicate his life to himself and achieve others.
While we praise Confucius as the master of all ages, we should also give Confucius a round of applause. Because of Confucius's "military merit medal", there is half of his own and half of his son Kong Li.
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Portrait of Kong carp.