Men should get married, women should get married!
From ancient times to the present day, people willGet married and have childrenRegarded as the number one priority in life, and oneThe importance of a good partnerIt goes without saying that people are therefore in the choice of their partnerBe cautious
The ancients also left many sayings about the criteria for choosing a mate"I'd rather marry a second flower than marry someone left behind".It is to warn men that when choosing a partner, they must not choose"The Leftovers"., otherwise there will be endless troubles.
So what are the two kinds of women referred to by "second flower" and "bereaved person"? Why is the "second flower" better than the "left behind"?
The ancientsPatriarchal, the status of women is extremely low, and the value of women's lives seems to beIt's about getting married, they either marry a man, be widowed, or remarry. Society has very strict requirements for women, and their fate is all up to themMale dominant
The so-called "second flower" is thoseThe widow whose husband had died remarriedThe widow was not at fault, but was lonely because of her husband's death. According to the concept of the ancients, women mustLoyalty, even if the husband has died, the widow remarries will be consideredNot loyal enough
The cruel concept of marriage shackles women, and they can only endure it in silenceSocial criticismBut let's think about it, a widow, if she no longer marries, she shouldHow to get by
In ancient times, there was no pension system, no male protection, widowsThere is no choice, can only rely on others for the rest of their lives. Whether or not they can marry again is related to the basic survival of women. Remarrying allows herGet out of povertyThis is the way to save yourself. Why should we be harsh on widows to remarry?
In contrast to widows, women who have been abandoned by their husbands seem to beThere is a "problem"., these beenAbandoned women,That is, the women who have been divorced are called "leftovers", but the truth does not seem to be so simple. Unfaithful and uncleanOf course, it is the fault of women, but in feudal society, ignorance and superstition and moral corruption, withThe upbringing of the husbandHow much does it matter?
The ancients believedIf the wife is not virtuous, the husband is not richBut is that really the case? The husband has the right to divorce his wife and abandon his concubine, but he has no obligationEducate the wife。If he abandoned his wife, was he not responsible?
Whether widows or widows, they bring their children with themStruggling to get byThey all need the help and support of society, how can we treat them differently and abuse them? The times are developing, and poverty alleviation isThe general trend,We should not only point the finger at women and ignore the progress of this era.
People often say that it is better to marry a second flower than to marry a bequeath, which may also imply a layerSuperficial psychologyMen like young and beautiful women
The second flower is young and beautiful, at the age of bloom, and easyPleasing men, and the people who left behind are not only older, but also have to take themA group of children, life is burdened. With the nature of men, the choice seems obvious.
Why don't we look at women?Hardships endured, tolerant of their misfortunes? Regardless of the second flower or the person left behind, they all need the tolerance and help of the society.
The cruel concept of marriage shackles women,Widows and outcastsWe all need sympathy, everyone is equal in the face of poverty and suffering, they all need support, and we should not despise women, but encourage themThey are self-reliant
The ancient marriage system in our country was deeply rooted in that timeEthical perceptions and social structureshas gone through a process from loose to tight and then loose. InitiallyClan era, there are more intermarriages within the clan, and the marriage relationship is more relaxed.
Later, it gradually formed a strict oneMonogamyand the rule of not marrying with the same surname, the marriage relationship was regulated. By the end of the Qing Dynasty, withSocial change and open-mindedness, and a more relaxed situation began to appear.
The political and economic system at that time was implemented in the Western Zhou DynastySplit envelope system, the feudal states are powerful and may pose a threat to the royal family, so they are upheld"Relatives and insiders".The idea of prevention, the formulation of the same surname non-marriage and monogamy, which is conducive to breaking the marriage of the powerful forces in various places, can also reduce the trouble of the royal harem. In addition, so is the strict law of marriageThe need to maintain patriarchal hierarchy
On this basis, Confucian culture further strengthened these normsThe AnalectsPresented"The life of the parents, the words of the matchmaker".The concept was used by successive dynasties to the Ming and Qing dynasties.
This is mainly due to:Indoctrination and ethical considerationsIt is hoped that the sanctity of marriage will be ensured through strict management of young people's marriages. Xue Baochai complained in "Dream of Red Mansions"."My life is hard, and this family is forcing me".It's a vivid portrayal.
Of course, of the ancientsThe age of marriage is also relatively youngIn the Qing Dynasty, for example, the minimum age for a man to marry a wife was16 years old, the minimum for a woman to marry14 years old
Relative to modern times, they are even less possessedThe ability to make independent judgments and choicesTherefore, it makes sense for parents to make decisions on their behalf. This kind"** system" marriageIt was also feasible at the time.
It was practiced in ancient ChinaA highly regulated marriage system, which was based on the timeThe political and economic situation and ethical principles, also taking into account the physical and mental characteristics of young people who are not yet mature.
It played an important role in maintaining the feudal order, but at the same time it buried many familiesThe remote cause of the tragedy。This system has continued until modern times, and has been gradually adopted in the process of social transformationIt was replaced by a new concept of marriage
In a traditional feudal society,Men are inferior to womenThe ideology is deeply ingrained and causes the majority of women to sufferDiscrimination and exploitation。They are legally treated as slaves.
"Zhou Yi".provisionsWomen are on the inside and men are on the outside, that is, women should only be in charge of the house, should not be involved in political affairs, in the Spring and Autumn Period Qi Huan Gong had made a covenant with the princes"Let not the woman nor the country".Women are not allowed to participate in politics.
Since then, successive dynasties have ruled that women cannot participateImperial examinations and official examinations, not even allowed to be a soldier, it's MulanDressed as a ** in the army, which is also a violation of national law.
Internal Rules for Women:There can be no private property, can not control the family wealth, after the death of the husband,The inheritance goes to the son, the wife can only be used to support the elderly. The Juntian system of the Tang Dynasty only gave land to adult men and womenNothing.
When the household registration statistics of the Song Dynasty were counted, it was onlyStatistics of males,Excluding the female population, the population of each household is therefore onlyTwo people。The Qing Dynasty made up a more direct requirement"Except for the men, women will cease to do so.", women simply do not exist in the hukou.
Women have no status in the law, according to the laws of the Ming and Qing dynastiesA wife who beats her husband is punished severely, the husband beats the wifeJust apologize,The wife kills the husbandLing Chi was put to death, the husband kills his wife, and he only needs toHanging。If the husband accidentally kills his wife, too"Don't talk about it".to forgive. There are only male privileges in the law, and there is no status for women.
"Three from the four virtues" will restrain women more tightly, Eastern Han DynastyThe Female CommandmentWomen are required to be unconditionally submissive and tolerant of their husbands. The Song Dynasty appeared in large numbersWoman who committed suicide in chastity
The Ming and Qing dynasties stipulated that women mustWidowhood or chastity for life, otherwise they will be severely punished, and their families will also be affected. Just because a woman is careless, she will be criticized for her loss of chastity, and she will also be kicked out of the house, or sufferedTorture such as burning at the stake
PatriarchyIt also takes away the dignity of women as human beings"Internal Rules".It is stipulated that boys at the age of 10 can go out to school, and girls can only learn needlework at home.
Boys can when they grow upTake a wife and take a concubineGirls are subject to a man for life, and women are born in the eyes of patriarchal societyLose money, and when I grew up, I became a consumable for someone else's house.
It can be said that in feudal society, women not only lostPersonal freedomThey have also lost all their rights such as property rights and the right to education, and have truly become an accessory to men, and this extreme idea of male superiority and inferiority has brought to the majority of womenA catastrophe of great calamity
These differing perspectives reflect our understanding of marriageConstantly evolving。However, what exactly is the essence of marriage? Whether it should meet certain expectations, or should we take moreOpen-mindedness？These doubts deserve our continuation**. Perhaps, the ultimate answer is slowly revealed in the passage of time.