Writer Su Qin once said: "Whoever is comfortable with you is with whomever you want, including friends, and when you are tired, stay away." Those who can enter my heart, I will treat them as kings, and those who do not enter my heart will disdain perfunctory. ”
Between people, too close is a disaster, too far away is easy to alienate.
A comfortable relationship doesn't have to be deliberately pleased, and a sincere friendship doesn't have to be intentionally accommodating.
Just the right distance, just the right amount of care, moisturizing things and silent thoughtfulness, in order to stay for a long time.
The most comfortable way for people to get along with each other: to be clear, reliable, and compatible.
Carry it clearly
There is a saying: "Getting along with people is a science, and no matter how intimate the relationship is, there are insurmountable boundaries." Only get along with the right amount of time, the most comfortable;People who know how to measure are the most charming. ”
Everyone is an independent existence with their own boundaries. In any relationship, being able to carry it clearly is the greatest kindness to others.
Hu Shi is Fu Sinian's teacher, and the two have a good relationship.
Hu Shi's wife, Jiang Dongxiu, likes to play mahjong, and when she lives in the dormitory of the research institute, she often invites friends and plays night cards in violation of the dormitory rules.
At that time, Fu Sinian was the director of the Institute of History and Language, and it was a rule he set not to play cards in the dormitory.
Hu Shi repeatedly persuaded his wife to no avail, so he had to take her out to rent a house.
Many people asked Hu Shi: "The director is your student, and playing mahjong is not a big deal, if you talk to him, are you polite to him?"”
Hu Shi said: "It is precisely because he is my student that I can't trouble him and put him in a dilemma." ”
Be a person and do things clearly, have a bottom line, do not embarrass others, and also fulfill yourself.
*: Visual China.
The same is true between friends, especially family conflicts and emotional disputes of friends, and it is the wisest choice not to intervene.
It's like the behavior of the heroine's best friend in Alice Monroe's ** "Escape".
The heroine Carla is fed up with her grumpy husband and hates her humility in her marriage and wants to leave.
She said that if she had money in her hand, she would run away immediately and would not be able to wait for a minute.
Her best friend, Sylvia, was kind enough to help her, and asked her to borrow money from her friend's house, and gave her some money.
Before escaping, she was worried that she would freeze on the bus, so she deliberately chose her own clothes to wear;Worried that she would be hungry on the road, she also prepared food with her own hands.
However, Kara's fear of the uncertainty of the future causes her to quickly give up the freedom she longed for.
She got off the bus halfway and asked her husband to pick her up and take her home.
Carla and her husband are as sweet as ever.
Sylvia is embarrassed and warned by Kara's husband not to interfere with their lives again.
In order to avoid the embarrassment of "looking up and not looking down" with her best friend's family, Sylvia had to move out of there.
Helping others with good intentions but becoming "wicked people" is the trouble that people who can't figure it out ask for themselves.
People who can't figure it out lack assertiveness when encountering things, can't distinguish priorities in doing things, can't figure out their own position and often cross the line, and are self-righteous and never know it.
"The good old man" has gone too far, it's really better not to do it.
On the contrary, people who can carry it clearly, know the current affairs, understand proportions, never get involved in other people's housework, and live a sober and comfortable life.
Sometimes, the calamity of others requires others to overcome themselves.
*: Visual China.
Reliable
Leo Tolstoy once said, "It is only in times of trouble that you can recognize who your true friends are." ”
In life, there are many uncertainties in the relationship between people.
Many people will come to compliment you when you are in good times and avoid you when you are in trouble.
A truly reliable friend is someone who is willing to help you out of the snow when you are down, and who will spare no effort to help you out of the predicament when you are at a low point.
The famous actor Wang Ting met his friend Ding Zhicheng when he was at the lowest point in his life.
That year was the most difficult time in Wang Ting's life, his father was sick, he divorced, and he had no money or a house in Beijing.
In order to make money, Wang Ting started filming.
However, because he is not a professional actor, he has no scenes to shoot for a long time.
He said: "It was a very hard time, and when winter came, I felt cold. ”
His friend Ding Zhicheng has always cared about him, asking him out from time to time to improve his life, and often taking him to meet the directors and actors in the circle.
Once, Ding Zhicheng was filming in Beidaihe, and after finishing work at night, he asked Wang to come over and take him to a dinner to make contacts.
The next day, when Wang Ting left, Ding Zhicheng took out 50,000 yuan and said, "Ting, I just sent a manuscript salary, you can use it, let me here, I will eat and drink, and it will be gone." ”
Wang Ting, who has a stubborn personality, didn't ask for it, but he was deeply moved in his heart.
On the way back by car, Wang Ting's tears kept flowing.
Later, Wang Ting's father recovered well after the operation, and Wang Ting knew that Ding Zhicheng was concerned, so he took the initiative to call ** to share it with Ding Zhicheng.
Ding Zhicheng said for the first time: "Yes, you give me the card number, and I will give you 100,000 yuan." ”
Wang Ting was very moved, but still refused.
Wang Ting said: "During those difficult days, I have always had a pillar, if one day I can't bear it, Ding Zhicheng is one of my homes." ”
The trough knows people's hearts, and the truth is seen in the fall.
There are not many people who really want you to be good, and it is even rarer to be willing to send charcoal in the snow.
In a person's life, being able to meet a truly reliable friend is a valuable asset in life.
I like a quote: "Slowly you will find that you are really happy to have a reliable friend by your side." ”
For the rest of your life, please walk with reliable friends and turn the page as soon as possible with unreliable people.
*: Visual China.
It fits
* There is a quote in "Firefly Alley": "Life is a lonely journey, but I met you, you are not me, but you are like another me in the world." ”
The fit of the three views, the resonance of the soul, the like-mindedness, and the consistency of cognition are probably the interpretation of the friends who are compatible.
Two people who are compatible can understand with just one look and one gesture.
In a person's life, if you have a compatible friend, you will have sustenance in your soul.
Lin Huiyin and Fei Weimei met at the Beiping Art Club.
Lin Huiyin is a very good talker, and her knowledge of literature, art, architecture, and philosophy has fascinated Fei Weimei.
She and Lin Huiyin hit it off at first sight.
Fei Weimei praised Lin Huiyin: "Her conversations are as creative as her writings. Topics range from witty anecdotes to astute analysis, from wise counsel to bursts of anger, from frenzied enthusiasm to profound contempt. ”
When the two met, the two families lived relatively close, and Fei Weimei often rode a bicycle to Liang's house to chat with Lin Huiyin.
They talked about the world, learned about art, Chinese and Western architecture, and went to Shanxi to inspect ancient buildings together.
Later, after the fall of Beiping, Fei Weimei returned to the United States, and Lin Huiyin's family also fled south.
Although he was displaced all the way, Lin Huiyin's communication with Fei Weimei has not been interrupted.
After Lin Hui suffered from lung disease**, his originally poor life was even more stretched.
Despite this, Lin Huiyin still spends frugally every month and exchanges letters with Fei Weimei, who is thousands of miles away.
In the most difficult years, Fei Weimei's letters always brought happiness to Lin Huiyin and served as her spiritual "medicine".
On the road of life, there are passers-by, and friends who are compatible with you will always appreciate you, encourage you, and remember your preferences and taboos.
Rejoice in you in your highlights;In your time of sorrow, empathize;When you're lonely, be there for you.
They can be intimate and heart-to-heart, or they can be independent of each other and cherish each other.
There is a good saying: "It is rare to have a confidant in life, and it is the most difficult to find a soulmate through the ages." ”
Meeting a compatible confidant is a very happy thing in life.
*: Visual China.
There is a saying: "The best relationship between adults is to be comfortable with each other." ”
The most comfortable relationship between people begins with sincerity for true affection, and finally acts and cherishes.
Sincerely help others, pay with sincerity, be able to clear the boundary, and be familiar with it, so that everyone can be happy.
When others are in trouble, they send charcoal in the snow, and people who are reliable give people peace of mind and make people feel free of suspicion.
People who are like-minded, compatible, and compatible with each other can go both ways.
May you harvest three or two confidants, affectionate and not disappointed, pay worthy of the gains, and finally be treated gently by the years.
Author: Qingxin;**WeChat***富书 (ID: kolfrc).