No two leaves are the same, and no two people are the same.
You have your wind, frost, rain and snow, and I have my joys, sorrows, and sorrows.
Everyone has a unique growth, experience, idea and cognition.
The greatest self-discipline for adults is not to compete with people who have different cognitions.
In the hit drama "He Came from the Fire", the heroine Nan Chu is a rookie actor.
Her debut was to record a variety show with her seniors and receive fire training.
Nan Chu also had the experience of being trapped in a fire when he was young.
Therefore, she admires the retrograde and bravery of the firefighters from the bottom of her heart, and understands their rules and actions very well.
During training, others were lazy and behaved, but she was also very hard working and cooperative.
Not only will we ask for specific operating rules in detail, but we will also practice Xi repeatedly until they are recognized.
It's just that such seriousness and piety have changed in the eyes of others.
These people not only mocked Nan Chu openly and secretly for being competitive, but also said that Nan Chu would do anything to grab the camera and get a position.
Nan Chu's assistant couldn't get angry, so he tried to explain to everyone.
It's just that without saying a word, he was accused of unruly.
At this time, Nan Chu grabbed the assistant and told her not to say more.
Because, Nan Chu understands that in the world of crows, swans are also guilty.
In the eyes of those who want to rely on shortcuts to get to the top, being down-to-earth has become a joke.
At any given time, we cannot wake up a person who is pretending to be asleep, nor can we convince a person who is cognitively biased.
After all, location determines the head, and experience determines the vision.
A person who has been in a fixed perspective for a long time will believe in something that becomes absolute.
Such a situation, in social psychology, is calledCognitive solidification
And people with fixed cognition will not only not admit their shallowness, but will also try to rationalize it.
Competing with such a person is destined to produce no results.
Just as a seabird can't understand what a fish feels, two parallel lines can never intersect.
It's hard to come together with people who know different things.
At this time, instead of competing, it is better to stay away, and than to persuade, it is better to let go.
Scholar Bao Pengshan once told such a story.
In an interview, he saw his friend and expressed an opinion that he did not agree with.
The other party said that children from single-parent families usually have violent tendencies.
He felt that this statement was too absolute, so he immediately dialed ** to his friend.
He pointed out that Confucius and Mencius were also single-parent families, but they were all gentle and polite people, and if you say this, it will be difficult for children from single-parent families to deal with themselves.
Unexpectedly, as soon as my friend heard it, he immediately started a rebuttal.
Bao Pengshan, who was set on fire, began to talk about sociology from psychology again, trying to convince his friends.
It's just that the other party still insists on his own opinion.
At this time, Bao Pengshan couldn't bear it, not only hung up **, but also pulled his friend into the blacklist.
For several days after that, he was emotionally unsettled, and he had no intention of doing anything else.
If a person devotes all his mental energy to fighting others and thinking about small things, then he will not have the strength to care about important things.
So, in the face of different points of view, different perceptions.
If you can't convince the other person in three or five sentences, stay away.
Many times, it is not honorable to defeat a dog, but it is unlucky to be bitten by a dog.
Because, a person's attitude towards trouble is attached to sunk costs.
When you are against others, you are also against your own heart.
Blindly arguing is not only a waste of tongue, but also a drain of energy.
Instead of being dragged into the emotional quagmire by a few words from others, it is better to keep your precious time for yourself to achieve growth and breakthroughs.
Oscar Wilde said it well: "For my own sake I must forgive something, for a man cannot get up night and night and plant thorns in the garden of the soul." ”
In this life, to forgive others is to forgive oneself and let go of the past in order to meet the future.
Not differing from cognition is not only the fulfillment of each other, but also the protection of oneself.
Zhou Guoping once said: "How a person treats people who hold different views is more reflective of his degree of civilization than what kind of views he holds." ”
Indeed, gentlemen are harmonious but different, and villains are the same but not harmonious.
A truly powerful person is one who allows himself to be himself and allows others to be others.
Lin Yutang is such a chic person.
Turn the clock back to 1932.
Lin Yutang founded the semi-monthly Analects, advocating the use of brisk words to comment on various social phenomena.
Lu Xun disagreed, he felt that Chinese people were not good at "humor", and the years at that time were not the time to be humorous.
He not only persuaded in private, but also expressed his opinions in public, and his words were very sharp.
But in the face of such criticism, Lin Yutang never got angry and never spoke much.
Because he knows that the world needs not only Lu Xun's sharpness to wake up, but also his own lightness to redeem.
Although the style of the two is not.
First, the ideas are different, but there is no difference in the general meaning of the family and the country.
He said, I always respect Lu Xun, Lu Xun cares about me, I like to know each other, Lu Xun abandoned me, I have no regrets, where I see the same thing, and for the traces of separation, there is no personal will.
Even, as always, he asked Lu Xun for a manuscript.
Seeing this, Lu Xun didn't say anything more, but sought common ground while reserving differences, and created a good story with Lin Yutang.
In this world, even the most intimate people will have times when they think differently;Even if people are similar, there will be times when they disagree.
A true master, even if he does not agree with the views of others, will swear to defend the right of the other person to speak.
After all, there are flowers in spring, moon in autumn, cool breeze in summer and snow in winter.
With different thoughts, there can be stars shining;With different landscapes, there can be a great world.
If you can't truly empathize, set boundaries and respect each other.
In this way, not only can you make your body and mind lighter, but also build long-term friendships with others, and even learn from each other's strengths.
In this life, people learn to give back to themselves and others to others.
Only then can flowers become flowers, trees become trees, and everyone can become the best version of themselves.
Master Hongyi once said:
Being alone is to not act with others. Don't fight, it's to let go of your own heart. To stay away is to despise the most harm.Many times, to compete with others is to compete with yourself.
People who understand you, no need to explain;People who don't understand you, it's useless to explain.
Instead of letting yourself sink into the quagmire of arguments, let time speak for itself and reason with facts.
After all, the world is not black and white.
Allowing others to have different morals and lifestyles than you own will eliminate most of your worries.
A truly high-level person can respect others while insisting on himself.
Light up at the end of the article[Follow]., I hope you can meet people of the same frequency, and you can also tolerate different thoughts.