In this life, if you can handle the following three relationships, you will win
In the course of life, we will meet many people, face various affairs, and have to spend a considerable amount of money.
Life is always complicated and overwhelming. However, no matter how complex, we must move on.
As a result, streamlining life has become a compulsory life lesson.
Liang Shuming, a social activist, once put forward such a point of view: life must first deal with the relationship with things, then solve the interpersonal relationship, and finally deal with the relationship with oneself, and the last point is the most difficult.
Obviously, if we can properly manage the following three relationships, then life is a win.
The first is the relationship between people and things: not to be happy with things, to be content and happy.
Feng Menglong, a writer of the Ming Dynasty, once wrote a story about Tang Bohu.
The young Tang Bohu was appreciated by the Taishou Cao Feng and was specially recommended to take the exam.
The examiner saw that Tang Bohu's test paper was written in ancient Chinese, but out of personal preference and impression of Tang Bohu, he decided not to pass.
Cao Feng tried every possible way, and the examiner was unwilling to finally give Tang Bohu the title of "Xie Yuan".
After the local exam, Tang Bohu went to the capital to take the big exam, full of confidence. However, the people in the capital told him that in order to be admitted to high school, he had to spend some money to buy exam questions.
Without hesitation, he took out some silver and gave it to the man who sold the exam questions. However, the matter was revealed, and he ended up in prison.
After going around in a big circle, Tang Bohu completely let go of fame and fortune. There is a poem as evidence: "If you look for stability in the meantime, a pot of turbid wine and a meal." ”
When we envy the "uninhibited" life of ancient geniuses, we must also see that their pursuit of material things has been extremely simplified.
Many literati and writers spent their entire lives in poverty.
Cao Xueqin once said: "Everyone in the world knows that the gods are good, only gold and silver can't forget." ”
We all understand that a life without desires is the best, but the dream of wealth always springs up in our hearts, and it is better to wake up with gold around us.
When we were young, we tried to get good jobs and read more books, not for the benefit of the masses, but to increase our wealth;When he was middle-aged, for a few taels of silver, he tried his best to calculate others, secretly engage in sabotage, seek ill-gotten gains and other evil deeds became commonplace;After retirement, people are leisurely, but they are always worried that their children will not live well and that they will not live long enough.
When the water is full, it overflows, and when the moon is full, it loses. Dealing with the relationship between people and things is to let yourself always have the space to obtain material things, and life is never a fulfilling process. When you feel that material things have become a burden, you should give up some of them at the right time. Relying on material life, but not seeing it as the ultimate goal, can you easily go into battle and live a leisurely life.
The second is the interaction between people: go with the flow, and ask for nothing.
Someone once said, "Ants and flies love to gather in groups, while tigers and lions prefer to walk alone." ”
Some have countered that tigers and lions can also work together and have their own groups.
Zhuangzi also said: "To be alone is to be unique." The only one is the most noble. ”
It can be seen that walking alone is a spiritual choice, rather than blindly rejecting the group and treating everyone as an enemy.
Spiritually independent people will not lose themselves and control themselves because of interpersonal relationships.
American celebrity Warren Christopher shared an experience when he drove at a speed of 100 kilometers per hour. Suddenly, a car came on, and the speed was also very fast. When the two cars met, he saw the eyes of the other driver.
Although it was a chance encounter, he kept thinking about it, if the other party was distracted, or freed up his hands to hit **, wanted to doze off, and crossed the yellow line ......Then the danger comes. It's not a question of responsibility, it's a question of both sides being hurt.
So it's clear that trust between people is crucial, whether it's a drive, a long-term partnership, or a simple transaction.
No matter how good you are, once you meet someone who is not trustworthy, you can get into trouble. Your "brilliant" is worthless at this point.
The ancients said: "But if you do good deeds, don't ask about the future." "If you think about it deeply, you will find that as long as everyone does their best, does not interfere too much with others, and maintains a good conscience, the world will become a better place.
Relying on the supervision of others can make a person better, but to be truly a good person, what is needed is "prudence".
Dealing with the relationship between people is basically to do more good deeds, believe that the other person is a good person, and firmly believe that the world is full of hope.
In any group, as long as you don't lose yourself and are able to get rid of external distractions, you are a great social master.
Third, manage the relationship with yourself: don't be trapped because of yourself, and live your true self.
Writer Lin Qingxuan was in distress and uneasy when he was young.
He sought advice from a Zen master in the hope of enlightenment.
The Zen master said to him, "Eat when you are hungry, and sleep when you are sleepy." ”
Lin Qingxuan was puzzled for a while.
The Zen master went on to explain: "To eat is to eat, to sleep is to sleep, don't think too much." ”
A sentence made him suddenly enlightened. Be simple, don't worry too much, don't worry about nothing. Those sad and sad thoughts are actually embarrassing themselves.
There are often such situations in life: others don't pay attention to it when they post it on Moments, or they don't care if they do;When you are angry with others, they may only stay away and ignore you at all;You're sad, but others are laughing.
Everyone is unique, and no matter what age you are, rely on yourself to know your own well-being.
We all want to live our true selves, but we are often entangled in trivial matters, thinking that changing our circumstances can change everything. In fact, no matter where you are or where you stand, you will encounter annoyance.
Only by "not expecting others" can your heart become open, and your life can truly be out of the control of others.
Being true to yourself is actually a state of mind, a kind of self-cultivation.
There's a famous saying that says, "The best relationship is one that doesn't." ”
When facing a variety of situations, remember two crucial words: everything you encounter, and a smile and a grudge.
Ordinary and indifferent is real, don't take any relationship too seriously.
In this life, the person who has been with you the longest is actually "you" yourself;Spending time with anyone is with yourself;What you get, you work hard for.
The real winner in life is not achieved overnight, but surpasses yesterday's self step by step every day.
The more complex the relationship, the more important it is to face it with a simple mindset.