Master Hongyi said: Kindness has a ruler, tolerance is moderate, the person who hurts you will only hurt you repeatedly, never try to touch a person who can't bear to hurt you, in his world, hurting you will have almost no price for him.
In the complex interpersonal interactions, we are often faced with the choice of how to balance kindness and forbearance. A proverb from Venerable Hongyi provides us with valuable inspiration: "Kindness has a ruler, tolerance is moderate, the person who hurts you will only hurt you repeatedly, never try to touch a person who can't bear to hurt you, in his world, hurting you will cost him almost nothing." This is both a kind of wisdom in life and an armor to protect the heart from harm.
First of all, "kindness has a ruler" means that our kindness should not be unprincipled. Kindness is a beautiful quality that makes us willing to help others and willing to give our love and care. However, if kindness has no scale, no boundaries, then it can be used by others as a tool to harm us. Therefore, we should learn to be vigilant while being kind and make sure that our goodness is not abused. This is not to make us callous, but to protect ourselves while giving kindness.
Second, "tolerance and moderation" emphasizes that in the face of conflicts and contradictions, we should do something and leave something undone. Forbearance is a virtue that resolves disputes and promotes harmony. However, if tolerance has no limits, then it can become a form of weakness and compromise. We should learn to stand up for our positions and rights when appropriate, rather than making unprincipled concessions. Only in this way can we maintain peace and tranquility while safeguarding our own interests.
Gen-la Hongyi reminds us not to try to move those who have the heart to hurt us. This is because in their world, there is almost no cost to hurting us. They may deliberately hurt us for a variety of reasons, and if we try to move them and change them, we will only end up hurting ourselves. We should understand that we can't know what's going on in the hearts of others, but we can control our reactions and attitudes. For those who can't bear to hurt us, we should learn to keep our distance and protect ourselves;Instead of trying to move them and change them.
So how to achieve "kindness and tolerance"?First, we need to establish clear and unambiguous personal boundaries. In the process of interacting with others, we should clearly know our bottom line, which is acceptable and which is absolutely intolerableSecondly, we need to learn to communicate effectivelyIn the face of conflicts and contradictions, we should express our opinions and feelings in a calm and rational mannerInstead of attacking or running away from problems in an emotional way;Finally, we should also cultivate our inner strength;Improve your self-confidence and resilience through continuous learning and growthSo as to better cope with the challenges and difficulties in life.
In real life, we may encounter all kinds of people and things, and some of them will be grateful for our kindness;Some people will be given in by our forbearance. In the face of these different situations, we should keep a clear head and a firm stand;It is necessary to use kindness to influence those who are worthy of being touched;We must also have courage to face those who try to harm us. Only in this way can we protect our hearts from being swayed by the outside world in this complex world.
In short, "kindness has a ruler and forbearance" is a kind of wisdom in life, but also a philosophy of life, which tells us how to balance inner kindness and external protection;How to maintain your independence and integrity in complex interpersonal interactions;How to protect the purest and most beautiful part of the heart from being defiled or destroyed by the outside worldMay we all be able to uphold this wisdom and walk more calmly and firmly on the road of life!At the same time, we should also pass on this wisdom to more people, so that they can also benefit from it and jointly create a more harmonious and beautiful social environment!