In fact, there are many mothers who feel inexplicable fear when they first start raising boys.
For most women, it may be easier to raise a girl, because they can use their own upbringing experience as a reference, what kind of psychological state will be at what age, what kind of emotions will there be under what circumstances, and what guidance and help will be needed at what stage......Mom has a little bit in her heart. But what is the growth process of a boy like, the experience of a woman is a layer apart. However, with love and careful observation of their children's personalities, mothers can still find their own way of education. At the high school level, the education of children enters a new stage. At this stage, there are some things that need special attention from mothers.
First, many mothers will view their sons with the original prejudice against men. From the moment the child is born, the mother's opinion of men, especially of her husband, affects the way she raises her son. We often hear mothers reprimanding their children by saying, "You're just like your father!"."My mom said this to me, and not once or twice, but from ** to big. As soon as I do something that upsets her, this sentence immediately blurts out. This is actually very wrong. We can't look at children with tinted glasses. Even if there are some problems with the child, the responsibility belongs to the whole family, especially to both parents. It would be unfair to blame either parent for the problem. This statement is a total negation of the child and the father, and at the same time hurts the dignity of two people, and the consequences are very serious and even very terrible. Therefore, mothers must first learn to respect their partners, and at the same time, they must also learn to respect their children, and make mistakes to their children on a case-by-case basis, and not escalate to personal attacks.
Second, the mother has a very important task to help her son learn how to get along with the opposite sex. After entering puberty, most boys begin to develop sexual consciousness and begin to want to attract the attention of girls, but do not know what to do. At this time, the mother can tell the child what kind of boy the girl generally likes, such as the talkative, humorous, considerate, assertive, responsible, self-motivated ......At the same time, it is also necessary to help the child discover his own strengths and help him magnify them, which will not only help the child learn to contact with the opposite sex, but also help the child build self-confidence and self-esteem. High school children are very sensitive, and boys are no exception. They often wonder if they are not good enough, if they are not attractive to others, and even small things such as "bad hairstyle" and "rustic dress" may have a big impact on them. If he can get the affirmation of his classmates of the opposite sex at this time, it will definitely help his self-confidence.
At the same time, parents should also tell their children not to imagine their favorite girl too perfectly. People have weaknesses, and the girl who shines in his heart, once she gets closer, may also expose her weaknesses. At that time, it is necessary to consider as appropriate, things involving essential issues are unacceptable, but we must learn to accept ordinary shortcomings, instead of turning around and leaving once we find that the other party has shortcomings, which is extremely disrespectful behavior.
Third, at this stage, the most common mistake mothers make is to try to make their children excellent by suppressing them. Don't do it!The mother of a high school student said on her lips: "If you continue like this, you won't even be able to get into college, and no one will be willing to marry you if you can't find a good job by then!"When most boys hear this, they just think that their mother is a tigress who only despises him and yells at him, and does not reflect on their own problems. As a mother of a high school student, it may be at a very special stage of life - menopause, when the huge changes in estrogen secretion in their body will affect their psychological feelings, making them more irritable and have a stronger desire to control - whether it is for the family or the children. Some mothers will try to control everything, which triggers fierce resistance from their children. High school children have heavy learning tasks, and if they waste their minds on the "war" with their mothers, it will definitely affect their grades.
I would like to give mothers a tip: when you feel that you are about to explode, you can use the "deep breathing method" I mentioned earlier to relax firstIf that doesn't work, you can leave the "battlefield" and go to another room, or simply go out for a while, wait for the anger to pass, and then come back to communicate with the child calmly. At this time, the father also has to brush up on his sense of existence and be a "peacemaker", comforting his wife and son on the other, and then sorting out and solving the problem when both parties are calm.