Since my uncle, who has not moved for more than 30 years, has come to the door, we have also found time for a family to visit.
The mood of the first visit was different, although only the uncle and aunt were at home to take care of the children, but the uncle still brought a little aunt who lived nearby to be lively.
My aunt was cooking alone, my uncle, my mother-in-law and my aunt were talking about household chores, and my husband and children couldn't talk to me or help much, so we all went out to the street to spend time.
My aunt was busy for a while, and the meal was finally ready and served on the table.
The dining table on our side is a square table, and the square table is based on the customs of the old ancient class in the past, and the east side is called one seat, the second seat is in the west, opposite the east, and the three seats and four seats are the north and south.
Usually, your family doesn't care about eating at home, but when you have a banquet or a guest comes to eat, you have to pay attention to the importance of the identity seat.
As soon as the food was served, my husband said, "How do you sit?".There are no seats. ”
My uncle had been sitting in that position the whole time, with a bunch of his knick-knacks (razors, two cell phones, cigarettes, a lighter, and a pipe like a brush) on his desk, and when he heard his husband ask, he said, "No, no, this is my seat, just sit casually." ”
I'm also optimistic, 8 people, just two on one side are not crowded.
We were about to start eating, and my aunt was still in the kitchen and didn't know what to do, so I shouted, "Auntie, what are you doing?"Come over and eat together, and then clean up after eating. ”
My husband and mother-in-law also echoed me and called my aunt to come over for dinner.
But the uncle said, "Leave her alone, let her eat in the kitchen, women can't eat at the table." ”
I, a Mandarin speaker, was not happy, and immediately retorted to my uncle, "My aunt cooks so hard, how can she eat in the kitchen."
My aunt came to sit and sat next to my uncle. ”
My aunt and aunt all said, "No one will sit in his position, and the pile of things (gadgets) in front of him can't be accepted." ”
I didn't care what my uncle said about the position of the head of the family, so I refuted my uncle, "You are the head of the family, and my aunt is the head of the house, why can't you sit?"My aunt is the housewife and is your equal. ”
My uncle was speechless by me, and my husband and mother-in-law echoed me, so I reluctantly removed a bunch of gadgets that occupied a place, and my aunt carefully sat next to my uncle, and only sat in a small corner of half of my buttocks, because my uncle occupied most of the position.
My aunt is also too good in character, and when my uncle said this in front of us, I also have no temper, and when I see my aunt like this, I also think of my father-in-law, and my father-in-law is also bullied by his mother-in-law, and he has no temper at all.
In fact, my uncle also gave me face, so he gave it to my aunt.
According to the local custom here, the first time I came to eat as a guest's nephew and daughter-in-law, I was the one who should sit in the main seat.
Uncle thought that he was the head of the family, and his exclusive position sat in the main seat, which was not right for this uncle, so he bowed his head to give us face.
Alas, I was also trembling when I had a meal.
I still feel that the ideas of the older generation are too solidified, and the customs can be exquisite, but sometimes they also need to be flexible, and they don't have to show it all the time.