1. What kind of people are offended, and the consequences are not serious?
There is a paragraph on the Internet that lists five types of people who should not be offended:
1. Idlers, because they have a lot of time to you;
2. Poor people, because they are barefoot, are not afraid to wear shoes;
3. Rich people, because they can stone people to death with money;
4. Villains, because their means are despicable;
5. Sycophants, because they may have unknown backers.
According to this logic, only offending the so-called good people will not have serious consequences.
2. Are you a good person in the eyes of others?
Good people are sensible and abide by the rules: be careful for fear of causing trouble, and others have to guess what they mean with a word or a look. If you feel that the other party accepts you, you will be happy;If you don't answer it, you will be sad;If you don't have neither, you feel like it must be your own problem.
Good people are afraid of causing trouble to others: they are afraid of asking for help, they are afraid of owing favors, and they are always thinking about others;
Good people Xi the habit of paying: they can't wipe their face, they don't care about the return of helping others, and they would rather suffer losses themselves;
Good people don't dare to express their true selves: they don't dare to refuse, they don't dare to point out the mistakes of others, and when they have conflicts and contradictions with others, they always can't help but apologize first.
3. Good old people actually have personality disorders
Freud said: A person's sense of self-worth is based on how his parents took care of him in childhood.
When I was a child, if my parents lacked emotional response to their children, they always ignored, separated, blamed, negatively commented and even scolded.
The child will feel that he is causing trouble for anyone to make any request, that I am terrible, that I am not liked, that my needs are not important. You must be well-behaved, obedient, sensible, and don't let your parents worry about it, so you can be a good child.
In adulthood, Xi habitually suppresses his real needs, unable to release negative emotions in time, and the people-pleasing personality becomes a deep-rooted mode of communication and is constantly repeated in interpersonal relationships.
Fourth, stick to the good people, but let your kindness take a little edge
People who love to take advantage of themselves are all good people who love face.
The bad guy did a good deed, and people say that he found out of conscience. A good man did a bad thing, but people scolded him. However, most people will still choose to be good people without hesitation.
Kind and good people should set a bottom line for themselves and do everything with an attitude of being responsible for themselves.
If someone offends you, be brave enough to express your feelings and tell him that you don't like the treatment. If you've always told yourself to put up with it, try to say to yourself today: sometimes we can get into trouble in order to let others know how we really feel.
Don't care about relationships, the essence of all relationships is profit, unless you can bring benefits to others, otherwise, you don't even have the value of being used. Laborious flattery, maintenance, and courtesy exchanges are actually not worth mentioning in the eyes of others.
The great man said: Ten years of peace are fought in one war
Only with principles and bottom lines can we gain respect. True security is not about not offending people, but about knowing how to deal with those you have offended.
My dear, there is a saying to yourself that I deserve all the good in this world, and I deserve all the good in this world!If you think it's reasonable, please like and follow, I am Wu Xiaomei, a psychological counselor, your anxiety companion.