Have you ever been in such a situation in your life:
I have a lot of work to do, but I'm embarrassed to refuse when faced with a colleague's requestMy mortgage is about to arrive, but a friend called ** to borrow money, but I unknowingly agreed;Faced with a blind date that was not wrong, I didn't like it that much, but I couldn't bear to hurt him, and finally settled down together ......
This kind of person does not refuse to think that he has won the favor of those around him, but in fact, many times, they overestimate themselves.
I once read a survey: if a person learns to reject others reasonably, he can reduce his troubles by 90% and save a lot of time and energy.
will not refuse others, sacrifice their own time, energy and financial resources, often wronged themselves, thankless. In fact, life is oneself, and it is a high-quality lifestyle to calmly refuse unreasonable requirements and not to be oneself in the eyes of others.
Guan Juer, played by Qiao Xin in "Ode to Joy", was born in a family with a strict father and a loving mother. He is diligent and down-to-earth, has no opinions, and does not know how to refuse.
Michele, a colleague in the play, was reluctant to work overtime, so she gave her the rest of the report to complete, and she worked late into the work.
The raw data reported was wrong because the previous part was not reconciled, causing a certain loss to the company. Although Michelle was the person in charge of the case, she was the last person to sign it, so Guan Juer was severely criticized by the leadership, who not only wrote a written review, but also influenced Guan Juer's regularization.
In life, people who don't know how to reject others not only add time burden to themselves, but also limit their actions. Because he didn't know how to refuse, he wronged himself to please and cater to others, and was forced to live the life of a "good old man".
We are always worried about being rejected, disappointing others, and others no longer liking us, but people should be for their own lives, and the people who really like you, and the way they like you should not be impressed by you.
Tao Yuanming, a famous landscape poet and pastoral poet, was determined to be an official when he was young, but after seeing the complexity of officialdom, he resolutely resigned and returned to China.
Later, the town army summoned Liu Yu to the state prefect and personally sent people to his house to persuade him to stay in office.
During this time, the Governor came down to inspect, and the other ** reminded him to put on his splendid official uniform and greet him respectfully. Tao Yuanming frowned, thinking about the depression in his heart after becoming an official, and refused: "I don't want to grovel to see him for the sake of five buckets of rice." With that, he gave up his official position, resigned and went home.
It is precisely because he learned to refuse that Tao Yuanming gained spiritual freedom and lived an ideal pastoral life of "picking chrysanthemums under the east fence and watching in the south mountain".
As the saying goes, he who pleases others is a king who pleases himself. No one has to live to please others;The only person we really need to please is ourselves. Learning to say no and living for yourself is the highest state of life.
In the spring of 1962, John F. Kennedy of the United States held a dinner of famous writers at the White House and invited Salinger, who was famous for "The Catcher in the Rye" at that time, to attend, but Salinger did not answer.
Later, Mrs. Jacqueline personally invited, and Salinger resolutely refused after receiving it.
Dad, I've never been to the White House. Why would you want to give up this good opportunity?Her disappointed daughter, Piki, asked.
It is precisely because he knows how to refuse that Salinger will concentrate on writing and become the most famous ** writer in contemporary America.
Not rejecting others means that you have to spend a certain amount of time with others, a person who is responsible for his own life, does not spend too much meaningless time on other things, you know, an open life, often starts with knowing how to refuse.
In life, for some unreasonable demands, boldly and courageously say: "No!".”．
Start by allowing yourself to say no to simple things, and then slowly try to break free from the "good guy" shackles and realize that you are the one who really needs to please others.
A truly upward life is the pursuit of one's own unique value.
When it's time to give yourself more energy to grow, say no.