The lowest cost of being a good dad is to do these 3 things right

I watched a movie some time ago: "Cat and Mouse Game", Douban 91。I cried a few times while watching it. The film is based on a true story and features Frank Abanel as the main character. He is the youngest wanted man in FBI history

Between the ages of 16 and 21, he impersonated pilots, doctors, lawyers, etc., and forged $2.5 million in checks in 26 countries, and was wanted by many countries.

A poor child who has been repeatedly misled astray by his father;

A helpless child who tries hard to save his father but is repeatedly frustrated.

After four or five times, I came up with three key points. What are the three specific points?Take a look at today's article.

Frank's father was a successful businessman. Later, because of the tax problems of the enterprise, he could not get a bank loan, and the capital turnover was not effective and he went bankrupt. Frank's mother, fed up with poverty and cheated on a powerful man, and then divorced her husband. On the day his parents signed the divorce agreement, 16-year-old Frank couldn't bear the blow and chose to run away from home to start his career as a criminal fraudster.

Ostensibly, it was the shock of family breakdown that led Frank astray;But looking back at his upbringing, it wasn't. In fact, what really led him astray was the home education he received, especially his father's education for him. The film has a scene: after his father goes bankrupt, Frank is forced to transfer to a regular high school. On the first day of school, he pretended to be a substitute French teacher, played the whole class around, and got angry with the real substitute teacher. When the principal found out, he asked Frank's parents to come and talk very seriously. At that time, my mother was smoking casually;After the meeting, the father smiled at his son and gave him an approving look. Later, Frank impersonated a pilot and forged checks to obtain a large amount of illegal wealth, and the father knew in his heart that his son was doing it illegally, but he never stopped it;Instead, he covered for his son in front of FBI agents while encouraging him to keep up his efforts. It seems that in the eyes of his father, earning illegal wealth through fraud is a glorious and proud thing. Why is this so?Because in real life,Frank's father was one such personIn order to achieve the goal, he often does not hesitate to manipulate others and break the rules. When the company's taxes went wrong, his father took Frank around asking for a loan from the bank. In order to get Frank a decent suit, his father weaves the lie that "grandmother died" and bribes the clerk with a necklace, and finally convinces the other party to make an exception and rent a new suit to them.

Later, in the process of cheating, Frank often followed his father's example - weaving tragic stories, bribing others with gifts, and quickly achieving his goal. He didn't know how to make money through legitimate means, and he didn't know that his fraud would bring great harm to society. Because his parents never taught him, and even continued to indulge him in words and mislead him in behavior. This is a pair of bad parents misleading a child's growth.

At first, Frank forged checks to cash out and pretended to be pilots, just to solve the problem of food and clothing, and tried to be quick for a while. When he quickly gained wealth in this way, he had an idea:

Make enough money to get back all the things my father has lost;

And help the father to chase the mother back and achieve family reunion.

That night, Frank was homeless. He took the initiative to call FBI agent Carl to inform him of his whereabouts and let the other party arrest him. But Carl didn't believe Frank and didn't go to arrest him. Later, Frank got tired of running from the air, so he faked his identity to impersonate a doctor and became a night shift supervisor at a hospital. There, he fell in love with a ** and planned to marry her. The second Christmas after running away from home- Frank finds his father again with his engagement invitation:"I invite my mom to the wedding, I have a luxury car, I have a luxury house, I have everything;I'll order you a set of fancy clothes and buy you and your mother two first-class tickets......"But my father looked blank"Your mom is married to someone else, and she already has her own house. "Frank was stunned for a moment"Well, it's all over, and I'm ready to wash my hands and not dry them. "At that time, my father already knew that Frank was engaged in illegal and criminal fraud. Instead of stopping him, he instigated Frank to continue"Don't stop, the FBI will never catch you. "

That night, Frank was overwhelmed. He once again took the initiative to call FBI agent Carl and begged the other party to let him go. But Karl politely refused. Later, Carl did chase the engagement scene, but Frank managed to escape first. The third Christmas after running away from home- Carl pursues Frank all the way to Mansa, France, and successfully captures him. That's where Frank's parents met and fell in love. Frank's attempt to save his parents fails, and his career as a scammer comes to an end.

Later, why was Frank able to abandon the darkness and turn to the light, and change the evil to the right?Is it just because he has been punished by the law, punished by imprisonment?Not really. It was more about Carl's spiritual teachings, support, and trust. In the process of Frank's improvement, Carl made three very important points:Set the rules. During the years of Frank's deception, Carl pursued him relentlessly. On Christmas Eve the following year, Frank begged Carl to let him go: "I'm getting married, I want to settle down, I want to end this." Carl responded"You've stolen millions of dollars, and it's not something you can dodge;You're going to be caught in jail and I can't let you go, it's my job. "

If you do something wrong, you will be responsible for your mistakes;If you break the law, you will be punished by the law. This is Carl's responsibility for his work and his insistence on justice. After hanging up** – Frank finally understands the importance of following the law, which is the missing part of his homeschooling. Provide support. On Christmas Eve of the third year, Carl found Frank in an abandoned warehouse in Mansa, France. At that time, there were quite a few European police officers in ambush outside the warehouse. Carl swears in the name of his own daughter and convinces Frank to voluntarily accept the arrest. Subsequently, it took him two years to apply for Frank's extradition back to the United States;He then spent another four years bailing Frank out of prison and working as a guardian for Frank at the FBI.

You are guilty, and I will persist in arresting you;You are in trouble, and I will do everything I can to help you. This is Karl's insistence on justice, tolerance for humanity. After entering the FBI, Frank finally found a legitimate way to use his ingenuity, make meritorious deeds, and regain his dignity. Authorize departure. One Friday, Frank asks to spend the weekend with Carl. But Carl refuses Frank on the grounds that he wants to spend the weekend with his daughter. This inadvertent refusal provokes the trauma of Frank's abandonment. In pain, he once again forged his pilot credentials in an attempt to escape. Carl chased Frank to the airport: "If you go back to Europe, you will die in a European prison;."If you try to escape from the United States, you will be imprisoned for another 50 years. I'll let you go, Frank, and I'm sure you'll be back next Monday;Look, there's no one chasing you at all. ”

If you are ready to make a mistake, I will tell you the consequences in advanceBut I'm not going to stand in the way, and I'll put the decision back to you. This is Carl's trust in humanity, his empowerment of Frank. After receiving authorization from Carl, Frank learned to take responsibility for his actions and returned to the FBI on time for Monday. From the perspective of the family of origin, Frank is unlucky- He has extraordinary intelligence, but he has been misled by his father again and again;He wanted to save his downcast father, but his father rejected him again and againIt wasn't until later that his mother remarried and his father died in an accident. He lost his real parents and became an "orphan". Judging from his later experience, Frank was lucky- In the midst of the criminal journey, Carl forcibly set the rules for him;At the trough of his incarceration, Carl started a second life for him;At the crossroads, Carl gives him trust and authority to leave. He gained a spiritual father and moved towards growth and maturity. This is the story of a smart child who goes astray, and it is also a story of a bad teenager who has lost his way and returned.

Looking at family education through the video, the key to a child's healthy growth is not how much money the family has, or how smart the parents are, but in:whether he was properly guided when he made a mistake;whether he can get sincere support when he is frustrated;Whether he can be authorized to leave when he grows up. So, as a parent, don't try to ** your child, but give your child full respect and freedom;When a child, don't try to save your parents, respect the fate and life choices of your parents. Respecting each other, being independent of each other, and being well with each other is the most refreshing and healthy parent-child relationship. 100 help plan