The marriage of a man and a woman is full of paradoxes in itself, not simply living together, but having some relationship that is difficult to detect.
In ancient times, men and women mated, but did not marry. After giving birth, you can live with the crowd. After having a tribe, marriage is not formal, but a natural union of men and women, cohabitation, and even the existence of men and women in the morning and twilight, which is also considered normal. If you don't get married, even if you live in a group, you don't have a fixed spouse, and you don't have a fixed relationship between men and women, which allows people to achieve a certain degree of freedom, but the low level of productivity makes it easy for people to shorten their life expectancy and even die of starvation. However, social life itself can only be regarded as an incomplete social life, and human beings still have animal attributes, and it seems that they cannot get rid of the state of ignorance by living according to animal attributes. This is illustrated by the emergence of matrilineal clan societies and patrilineal clan societies, where marriage could only be applied to the slave-owning class, not to the slave class. Marriage in feudal society is more formal, with "the order of the parents, the words of the matchmaker." "There is a marriage contract, and even a woman cannot be autonomous, and she cannot see her man before marriage. In a patriarchal society, men and women cannot meet each other before marriage, so as not to be immoral, which in itself is a disregard for human nature. Although a child is born to a parent, a child is not the private property of the parents. However, in the ancient marriage system, children became the private property of their parents, which made marriage a transaction, a form of mating, a form of inheritance, rather than something that produced love.
Since love cannot be generated, but focus on inheritance, then as long as the economic conditions allow, a man must marry a wife and concubine, and it is best to get three wives and four concubines, and he will be satisfied. Marriage means passing on the family lineage, and not getting married when you reach the age is considered "unfilial". The ancients said: "There are three unfilial pieties, and no queen is great." "If you don't get married, you don't have children, it's unfilial;If you are married and have no children, you are still unfilial. In other words, most ancient marriages were evaluated on the basis of having children and having more boys, not on the basis of love. Men and women who are in love generally cause tragedy, rather than entering the palace of marriage together. Look at Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai, and then look at the Cowherd and Weaver Girl, they are all tragedies, and the stories of the four beauties are also tragedies. Women do not seem to be objects to be respected, but have become men's playthings, tools for giving birth. In this way, the so-called marriage paradox arises. Since it is possible to get married for love, why do so many people who marry not have love?Even if some sparks of love emerge after marriage, there will still be no long-term love. Many times, marriage is done just to have a boy. If the husband and wife love each other but do not have children, the woman will be disliked by her husband's family anyway, and even be forced to divorce.
A philosopher once said, "Children are a by-product of marriage." "When a man and a woman get married, they feel happy, and while they are happy, they have children. But if you are happy directly for the sake of giving birth to a child, it will make women become a tool for giving birth to children, and the attribute of animal mating will be produced, and too much human touch and human beauty will be missing. By now, love seems to have disappeared, replaced by cohabitation and marriage under the dictates of money and power. Money and power can buy love, and love can be forced. And the love that is bought and forced is not love. Powerful people can have a lot of lovers and can support **, while ordinary people don't have that money, so they won't support it. Of course, there are also those who cheat in marriage, those who get married and divorced, those who divorce and get married, and over and over again, and it becomes a kind of worldly appearance. Now the society is more open and tolerant, and unmarried men and women can live together, which is considered a kind of trial marriage, even if they have children, they can also give their children a household registration, and they will not make the children have no household registration because they do not have a marriage certificate. As a result, many young men and women want to live together before marriage in order to combat the paradox of marriage. Only when you live together can you know whether it is suitable or not, and if you don't live together, just by virtue of verbal words, holding hands and hugging, you can't feel whether it is suitable or not.
At the moral level, premarital cohabitation itself is immoral and criticized. People get married in order to live together and live together, not just to have more marriage certificates, but to have a property foundation and a long-term plan for life, not to be a dewy couple, let alone simply live together. Many young men and women simulate marriage and live together before marriage, which can be regarded as an experiment and an interpretation of love. Of course, there are also loveless cohabitation, which is just a kind of cohabitation. Many girls are more open, when they are in love, they have to live with a man, eat, drink and have fun all by men, and when they feel inappropriate, they break up directly and find another one. In this way, the girl has a lot of experience, and the man also gains a certain amount of premarital experience, and also learns to see one and love the other. It's like "riding a horse to find a horse", and you won't get married until you find what you think is the most suitable. And after this Xi is formed, even if you get married, it will not change much. There are many marital cheating phenomena, because after having a premarital cohabitation experience, they have developed the Xi of seeing one and loving another. Of course, there has been a metamorphosis in human nature.
What Qian Zhongshu means is that marriage is a besieged city, people outside the city want to enter, and people inside the city want to come out. From an economist's point of view, marriage is a cohabitation relationship between a man and a woman based on property, and it is protected by law, and it does not receive any special treatment. However, now both men and women have become smarter, since they can't find true love, then find a rich or powerful person to marry, at least you can live a comfortable life, as for how to develop in the future, who can get it?As for whether it is suitable or not, you will know when you get married. If it's suitable, go on, and divorce if it's not suitable. If you are not at ease, you can live together before marriage and see that the bottom is not suitable.
In this way, society will collapse and be happy, and capital will not be idle, but actively create a market for cohabitation and marriage, and it seems that a lot of money will be made in it, and there is a possibility ...... further expansion