1 Once I met an old lady when I was shopping, the old lady came over and took my hand excitedly and said, "Girl, you really look like my deceased 20-year-old daughter, can you call me Mom?"I looked at it, I felt that the old man was very pitiful, so I called: Mom, and then the old man said thank you, and left satisfied, I was also very happy to see the smile on her face, and I went to the cashier to settle the bill, and the cashier said: Your mother hasn't settled yet....I'll go,**
2 The first blind date, after arriving at the place, the introducer introduced the two of us to each other and went out, leaving the two of us to talk alone. The man said, "The introducer just now said that you are 23 years old this year, and I don't think you are so old." I secretly rejoiced in my heart, he was praising me for how young I looked. Unexpectedly, he continued: A girl of your age, who would dress so old-fashioned!
3. The daughter asked her father, "Isn't it cute and cute to add a 'what' word at the end of every sentence?"”
Dad thought for a moment and said, "Not necessarily. ”
When my daughter asked why, my father said, "Because your mother always asks me about money." ”
When I was 4 years old, I was ignorant, and I accidentally found 200 yuan in the corner of the cabinet at home, so I secretly took it out and spent it, and then I often looked for it in various corners, and I had more or less gains, which made my childhood relatively rich ......Now that I'm married, I remember that the money should have been hidden by my father!
5 The head teacher of high school is a college student who has not graduated for a few years, and we have a good time, exercise time between classes, because the playground is snow, the head teacher organized us to have a snowball fight, but the students worked together to only hit the head teacher, the head teacher suddenly changed his face and yelled at us: Stop playing, go back to read books for me!We turned around and prepared to go back to the classroom, when suddenly a few snowballs fell on us, and when we turned our heads, the head teacher actually said to us with a bad smile: "Fun for you!".Hahaha !
6. The name of the courier I wrote is Xia Yuhe on the shore of Daming Lake, and once a courier came to deliver it to me. Just in time for my mobile phone to shut down, the courier brother shouted downstairs: "Xia Yuhe, Xia Yuhe on the shore of Daming Lake, your express delivery has arrived!.""Finally, after a long cry, I heard it and took the courier. The courier guy walked up to the electric tricycle and said, "If you come a little later, I'll be ready to drive." ”
7 I have a colleague who is particularly sloppy, usually not very hygienic, I have never seen him wash his hands after going to the toilet, and everyone laughs at him. I happened to bump into him when I went to the toilet today, and I smiled and said, "Oops!."It's rare to see you wash your hands once?He smiled and replied, "I forgot to bring the paper just now!."”
8 Sitting on the hard seat of the train, a young mother is holding the child, it is late at night, the child just does not sleep, but does not cry. Mom hummed a lullaby: Sleep, sleep, my dear baby, Mommy loves you. You guessed it right, I don't know if the child is asleep or not, I am asleep anyway!
9There are three sheep on the subway, and a wolf came up at the first station, how many sheep are left at the second station?
A: It's still three, because you can't eat by subway.
10 The brother in my hometown suddenly called ** to borrow money from me, and I asked him what the reason was, and he said that his girlfriend was pregnant, and now he is short of money.
I was immediately angry, your girlfriend is pregnant, so she wants to borrow money to kill the child, if you are a man, you should be responsible!I don't borrow!
He said again: If you don't borrow money, then you promised me to marry your sister?!
I didn't have anything to do for 11 weeks, I went to my colleague Xiaoli and came to the community where she lived, but I didn't remember how many units and floors she lived in, and what made people crazy was that the mobile phone was out of battery ......At this time, a middle-aged woman in the building came over, and I asked her, do you know where Xiaoli's family lives in this building?She laughed, "Who are you!".I dared to say, "I'm her colleague, I'm looking for her!."She said unhurriedly: "You are her colleague, I don't know where she lives, how do I know!."”
12 Aren't you in a hurry when your family is gone?
The female classmate asked the students in the class: After the school used cockroach incense to kill cockroaches, how did they find that cockroaches infested more frequently, and why had they not seen them before. I only heard a great god reply: Your family is gone, aren't you in a hurry?