As a mother-in-law, Aunt Chen chose not to help her son and daughter-in-law take care of the children, and this decision caused a series of follow-up questions. Although Aunt Chen had her own reasons, she ignored her daughter-in-law's work pressure and financial pressure in Beijing. She thinks it is her mother's responsibility to take care of the child, but ignores the fact that her daughter-in-law has quit her job to take care of the child. Aunt Chen has a kind of hold for the childConventional wisdom, thinking that the mother should be the one who takes care of the child, and the mother-in-law just needs to enjoyRetirementlife。But this notion is inModern societyIt is no longer applicable. It is unfair and disappointed that daughters-in-law have taken on the responsibility of raising children but do not receive the support and understanding they deserve.
Aunt Chen chose to enjoy her retirementlife, lived a life full of fun and freedom, while the daughter-in-law temporarily quit her job in order to take care of the children. Not only do they have to take care of their children's education and day-to-day care, but they also have to deal with the financial pressures of their families. In the past three years, the son has to give Aunt Chen 1,000 yuan every monthlifefee, and her ownPensionIt is also increasing. However, daughters-in-law and childrenlifeExpenses, mortgages, car loans and other expenses have made the already tight financial burden even heavier.
When Aunt Chen returned to her son's house, she found that she had lost a place in the family. The son and daughter-in-law are very polite to her, not even as close as the mother-son relationship. The daughter-in-law told her that there were only two rooms in the house, one for her son and daughter-in-law, and one for the child. So she had to sleep on a simple bed in the living room. Aunt Chen wants to live in the same room with her grandson, but her daughter-in-law thinks that the child is already in primary school.
It should be noted that there is a difference between men and women, and the child and Aunt Chen do not have a sense of intimacy. Every morning, the son, daughter-in-law, and children went out and did not return until the evening. Aunt Chen solved the lunch by herself, and when she came back in the evening, her daughter-in-law was busy with the children's homework and paid little attention to Aunt Chen. The son is also busy with work and has no time to spend with Aunt Chen. This made Aunt Chen feel that she had lost her sense of existence at home.
Aunt Chen's daughter-in-law made it clear that they did not have time to spend with Aunt Chen and hoped that she would return to her hometown to live a free lifelife, the son will give it to her on timelifeFee. Although this was a clear statement by her daughter-in-law, the message behind it made Aunt Chen angry and sad. She heard her daughter-in-law's dissatisfaction and resentment, and felt that she was not qualified to live in her son's house if she didn't help with the childRetirement。The daughter-in-law's attitude also made Aunt Chen feel marginalized and excluded in the family.
This story provoked me to think about the relationship between my mother-in-law, my son and my daughter-in-law. InConventional wisdomThe mother-in-law is the elder of the family and should enjoy the filial piety and care of her children and grandchildren. However, inModern societyWith the enhancement of women's sense of independence and the improvement of economic ability, more and more daughters-in-law no longer value the status and majesty of their mother-in-law.
InBig citiesWorking women not only have to juggle the financial burden of their families and the education of their children, but also take on the responsibility of caring for the elderly. The reason why the daughters-in-law's attitude towards Aunt Chen has changed is because of their work pressure and family burden, and they need more time and energy to take care of their children and their own careersOn the other hand, it is also because they want more freedom and space to pursue their careers and personal development.
In such a situation, mothers-in-law are no longer able to have absolute majesty and authority in the family as in the past, and they need to adapt to the new eraFamily relationshipsto establish a more equal and respectful relationship with the daughter-in-law. Daughters-in-law also need to understand their mother-in-law's situation and feelings, and give them more support and respect.
As members of a family, we should respect each other, help each other, and understand each other's situations and feelings. If my children need me to help take care of them in the future, I will do my best to support them, because the happiness and harmony of the family is based on mutual care and support. We need to get rid of itConventional wisdomThe stereotype of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, rethinking and establishing a new typeFamily relationshipsMode.