We have been living next door to a family of three, two years ago we added a baby, and now we are a family of four. Our relationship is mediocre, but their eldest daughter is at the same school as Qing'er, and her mother and I occasionally talk about some children's topics.
When Qing'er was in the first grade, the girl next door was already in the fifth grade, and she often saw an old man picking her up from school, and that old man was her grandmother. I found out that she had a good relationship with her grandmother, and her grandmother also doted on her a little and took good care of her until she died suddenly. The news of her grandmother's death was learned from her mother.
The girl's voice is loud and like a boy's character, and her mother says that her daughter is disobedient and difficult to educate. But I've always felt that girls are normal, she's just expressing her feelings normally.
We occasionally met in the elevator and she behaved naturally when I took the initiative to talk to her. By the time she was in sixth grade, she was already much taller than her mother, a big tall person. I often complimented her mother on her height, but she said that she was sick and had joint pain, which seemed to be caused by growing too fast or something. This is the first time I've heard of this phenomenon, so I'm shocked.
The girl is often with another boy, who is also our neighbor and another big tall one. They often go to and from school together, and they fight and fight, which is what an adolescent child should be. The mother of the two children also comes and goes a lot, and it seems that they have a good relationship.
When they are admitted to junior high school, they are rarely seen, especially the girl next door. One day, when I went to pick up my child from school, I met the boy's mother, and I asked casually: Your child and the girl next door to my house go to school together, I see that they usually have a good relationship. The boy's mother said: The child has not gone to school for several years and has been playing with his mobile phone at home.
I was taken aback, "Huh?Didn't you go to school, I haven't seen her for a long time, I thought it was because of the school. ”
Yes, I was admitted to a good school, but I don't know why I'm depressed, and I don't know what's wrong with my current children, is it depression and I don't have anything to eat?She said to herself.
A brief exchange brought my mind back to an incident that happened a few months ago. On this day, the next door neighbor came knocking on my door, it was the girl's mother, she asked me if I had seen a cat, it was newly bought that day, and wanted me to see if it would slip to my house from their balcony, and I said no.
After she left, I tried to look in the room, I followed the route that stretched from her balcony, and sure enough, I found a tanuki cat behind the cabinet in the room. I immediately called her ** and she said she was out and came later to take the cat away. But I waited for a long time and didn't come, my father and I were worried that the cat had run away, so I called ** to urge her, she said let me knock on her door, her daughter was at home, let her come and take it back.
I knocked and knocked, but no one opened the door, so I had to continue to urge her. She finally arrived, carrying her little daughter on her back, and in a panic she and her husband brought tools to chase the cat. The cats were frightened and scurryed around and got our room covered in cat hair. They were a little helpless, but we couldn't help, and my father and I started to get a little impatient. She handed the baby over to me, then closed the door and caught the cat in our room with her husband, and finally broke my broomstick as well.
The cat was rough with them, jumping up and down the room, and finally slipped to the balcony, where it came down to a few centimeters under the window, and they were once again at a stalemate. I suggest they find a large net to catch the cat, as the cat can fall at any time. They tried to find a way in another room, but her husband seemed to lose patience and kept using a broom to chase the cat, and finally the cat fell downstairs and died.
Qing's father was very angry and loudly scolded her husband for being too rude, and she was also so angry that she couldn't speak because of her husband's actions and left with the child. But his husband seemed to be calm, he said that the cat was bought for his daughter, who had psychological problems, and had been crying at home since the cat was lost. That was the first time I had heard that the girl next door had a psychological problem.
But to the extreme, they made a mess of my room, neither apologized, nor did they come to clean up, threw the broken broom aside, patted my ass and walked away as if nothing had happened. Qing's father was so angry that I comforted: Maybe they have to comfort their daughter first, wait and see, maybe come back later to clean up.
But there was no movement next door, so I had to clean the room myself, and since then, I have been a stranger to their house. Until I heard about the girl from someone else again. I suddenly felt sympathy for them.
*。I observed that her father was not often at home and seemed to be working in the field, perhaps the child had come back after an accident, and for a while I met him often. Her mom often asks someone to play mahjong, and we will hear the sound of mahjong next door. After the birth of her second child, she still played mahjong while taking the child, which means that when the child came home sick, there was no quiet and comfortable environment for her to recuperate. Such a family environment can't help but make people sigh.
Whenever the children were noisy or laughing, I thought of the girl next door, and on the other side of the wall was another family, another scene. The child of this family is sick, and I don't know what kind of inner struggle her parents have gone through, and how many difficult days and nights they will have to go through.
The latest report of adolescent depression index is increasing exponentially, and I have always been glad that there are no children around me who are depressed, and I never thought that they were actually quietly getting sick. Outsiders don't know what's wrong with them, why are they sick. Parents don't understand them either, they eat and drink well, why are they depressed?
Human beings are constantly evolving, but the spiritual level seems to have been lacking, maybe the child's inner needs are suddenly awakened, and the symptoms are used to tell the parents: material, honor, track, are not our real needs, don't let us bear the pressure beyond our power alone, and then you wait and see.
If this is the cry of a sick child, then we, as ordinary parents, can only take warning. Don't create anxiety, and never take it lightly, just like suddenly hearing that a child has been trafficked, we can only hug the child in our arms tighter.
No one is born to be a good parent, and being a parent requires practice. We are also sighing, why did we not get sick when we were young with material scarcity, but now our children who are materially rich are sickIf you are still in such confusion, maybe your parents have not grown up enough, and they have not seen the needs of the spiritual world. As it is said: if parents do not raise awareness, education will not keep up with the needs of this generation of children.