When I was young, because my parents were busy with work and hated my friends, I couldn't become a person, so I invisibly began to want to monopolize all the attention and space of the other party, but because of this, I inexplicably started a conflict. The teacher told us a story of "Hedgehog Heating": On a cold winter night, in order not to freeze to death, the hedgehogs get together to keep each other warm. But if they get too close, each hedgehog will be pricked by the long thorns on the other hedgehogs, and the distance between them will spread out again. But when they felt the need for warmth again, they couldn't help but get together. In this way, they gathered for a while, dispersed for a while, until at last they found a suitable distance from each other, so that they could keep warm without being stung by the long thorns on each other's bodies.
When I grew up, I had all kinds of experiences such as changing schools, moving houses, studying in other places, working in a foreign land, and having to be separated from those close to me, which not only felt the ruthlessness of life, but also had the opportunity to reflect on the appropriate distance between people. Yes, young friendships always carry a passion that does not care about it, and give each other the warmth that they need most, but these pets will eventually change their concentration due to different life experiences, and eventually be sculpted beyond recognition by life. Even we ourselves will be stimulated to different types of personalities, and become ourselves in another life relationship that we can't see through.
This book roughly divides all people in intimate relationships into 9 personality types, and uses 9 hedgehogs with their own characteristics to correspond to these 9 personality types, carefully dissects the main crux of their problems in intimate relationships, and gives suggestions to solve them. In view of the fact that "drunk people never admit that they are drunk", the author also intimately uses some representative film and television works or drama works as a blueprint to explain the problems of 9 personality types in intimate relationships, so that readers who are "shot" but embarrassed to admit have the opportunity to successfully complete a self-diagnosis from the perspective of "bystander clearing", happily with the blessing of the artwork, but do not have to feel that the reason why they have problems is a big mistake is that they can't bear to give up the sunk cost - After all, the problem of love cannot be solved for thousands of years, and if you look at your life from a macro perspective, the problem in front of you will not distance you from the real world in front of you.
At the same time, we may find that in that relationship, we may initially be "performative personality" hedgehogs, trying our best to make a good first impression on each other, slyly trying to pull each other into the script we envisioned, and at the same time, according to the other party's response, we gradually understand what we want and want, and appropriately modify the details of the script, so as not to let the other party be stabbed and stabbed all at once;If the other party is not very cooperative, he will become a "compulsive personality" hedgehog who is a bit domineering president, or a "dependent personality" hedgehog who can't live without the other party, and test whether the other party cherishes this relationship and is willing to sacrifice and dedicate himself to this relationshipIf the other party really gives in, he may become a hedgehog with a "narcissistic personality", pampered and arrogant, and become increasingly obsessed with what the other party gives him, or continue to transform into a hedgehog ...... other personality types
The language is vivid, the analysis is detailed, and the little hedgehog drawn in the illustrations is vivid and cute, and it is worth reading.