Today, I would like to share with you a case study of family education of a fan friend, she told me:
I am the mother of my children. The daughter of the family is 16 years old this year, a sophomore art student, and attends an ordinary public high school. We live in a second-tier provincial capital in the south. We are not locals, and the couple started their own business here, opened a small shop, and financed enough to support their two children. I don't have my own house here, I rented another house.
My daughter took a year off school last year due to illness, but she returned to school this year and continued to study in her second year of high school. In the past month, I have been sick repeatedly, I got up in the morning with dizziness and vomiting, went to the hospital to see a Chinese doctor, took Western medicine, and also saw a psychiatric department, and the doctor said that I had chronic gastritis and moderate depression.
The doctor said that her illnesses were most likely related to emotions, and she had taken a month off intermittently. Now she is much better, but she still doesn't want to go to school, she said that she is anxious and depressed at school, and the atmosphere of learning Xi is not good, so she can't study.
She felt very tired and confused, and if she dropped out of school, she didn't know what she could doIf she continues to stay in school, she feels that every day is very painful.
In the past month, we as parents are also exhausted, I don't know what to do, inadvertently brushed your **, I think you have a thorough analysis of all aspects of the problem, please help guide her, whether to let her continue to go back to school, or drop out, and make another plan
After graduating from junior high school, my child began to learn Xi and painting during the summer vacation. The child does not currently live in school, but is a day student.
Her grades in primary school and junior high school have always been okay, the top ten in the class, and she can still enter the top ten in the class in the first year of high school.
This year, she returned to school and returned to the second year of high school, she said that the atmosphere of Xi school was very depressing, but there were a lot of sleeping people in class, and it was also very noisy when she Xi in the evening, and the teachers this semester were okay and not very strict.
She doesn't think she has much expertise other than art. But she said that she is interested in many things, such as making pastries, making plush toys, editing, carving, etc., and she wants to learn Xi when she has the opportunity.
I communicate more with my child, and my child's father communicates with her very little, because I understand and respect her ideas, and she is willing to tell me what she thinks.
But the two of us opened a store, from seven o'clock in the morning to more than twelve o'clock in the evening, 365 days a year, only the New Year's holiday, since she was a child, she has been with too little, and has never taken her out to travel.
I can feel that her heart is very inferior, although she is very good in all aspects, very good understanding, learn everything quickly, when she was a child, she played skateboarding, and the bicycle and electric car in the back were all learned by herself, in my heart, she is really a very good child. ”
List of high-quality authors Today, I will take the opportunity to reply to this friend and share with you some of my views and ideas for the reference of other friends in a similar situation. I'll start with the final verdict:
1. When you go to the school to apply to the leader, you first request to retain your student status and continue to suspend your studies.
2. Let your child continue to study high school courses on his own at home.
3. You must try your best to participate in the high school graduation examination and get a high school diploma. And try to register for the college entrance examination.
4. Try to let your child learn by himself for a year, and after one year, see how the self-learning effect isIf the effect is really not satisfactory, you can consider giving up the path of academic diploma and finding another way.
First of all, I can understand the feelings of children very well. In my previous works, I talked about the backwardness of the school education system and the family education strategy not once or twice.
The current problems of the child, objectively speaking, are mainly due to the factors of the times and the education system, and the secondary reason is the failure of the necessary family education to intervene in time.
Children's rejection of test-taking Xi and school environment is not an isolated case, it is a common phenomenon in today's era, so you don't have to be overly anxious and anxious, just look at it with a normal heart.
As for the principles and causes of such psychological problems in students, I will not elaborate on them for the time being. If you are interested in learning more, you can see my previous works.
Second, you should go to the school again, tell the leader that the child's current situation is very bad, continue to apply for suspension, and keep the school status.
Let children learn Xi independently at home with the help of teaching aids, Internet question banks and other resources. For large exams, such as mid-term and final semesters, try to go to school to take them. You must also take the high school graduation examination.
Then you parents, don't urge your child to Xi, let her arrange her own self-study rhythm at home, but encourage her to try to pass the graduation exam through self-study, or even through self-study, sign up for the college entrance examination after 2 years, don't give up easily.
However, the content, progress, and method of Xi learning at home are completely arranged by herself, and parents can communicate with her mainly with encouragement, understanding, and understanding, and don't put too much pressure on the child.
In fact, to tell you the truth, I am a high school teacher, and I can tell you responsibly that with the development of the times, schools (especially public schools) do not play much role in educating people, and the efficiency of learning Xi in schools is not very high.
Under the premise that a person has enough internal motivation and sufficient knowledge base, in fact, the efficiency of self-study with the help of various ready-made test-taking auxiliary resources is indeed higher than the rhythm of school-based teachers, which is an objective fact.
If the child is good at self-study, he can also learn the courses of high school Xi by arranging his own learning, which is completely feasible. After all, she is 16 years old and has basic self-learning skills.
Third, let your child try to teach himself for at least a year to see the results before making the next decision.
The principle on my side is that if you can rely on self-study to pass the high school graduation exam, or even sign up for the college entrance examination, try to take it as much as possibleBut parents should not be obsessed with these two things. Because if you don't take this path, there is another way out.
I have said many times before that in the future society, academic diplomas are not of great significance to the long-term career development of a person's life, and can even be ignored, this is not a joke, it is the general trend.
This is actually determined by the stage of social and economic development of our country, and the era when you can get a lifetime of iron rice bowl by relying on academic diplomas has long passed. So, don't put pressure on your child with old ideas from the past.
But I also want to emphasize that just because you don't care about your academic qualifications doesn't mean you don't have to study Xi. On the contrary, I have been emphasizing the notion that all people need lifelong learning Xi in the future. It's just that the scope of learning Xi is very wide, and it is not just learned in school, nor can it be learned only by reading paper books.
If you learn to make use of the Internet, which is a treasure trove of resources, you can also learn a lot of practical knowledge. It's just that this knowledge is scattered, and it needs to be collected and sorted out by people with a heart in order to become their own knowledge system and transform into their own ability.
Nowadays, the test-oriented education system has lagged behind and is obviously unable to keep up with the economic rhythm of the new era.
However, there are no absolutes, and those who are very few who are suitable for scientific research and willing to engage in research for life can still learn what they should learn from the test-taking system. This type of person accounts for about 1 in 10 million, and it is not the majority of people.
Fourth, if after a year, the child's self-education has little effect, my opinion is that you can consider not going to university, but you must plan your first career in advance.
If a year has passed, the child's self-study of high school courses at home is not good. My advice is to decisively abandon this path and re-actively plan for other ways out in the future.
For example, I suggest that children must drill deep into the technology of editing, learn to skillfully use simple editing software (editing and pr are a must), and start from shooting daily life and editing pan-life.
In addition, in addition to practicing her editing skills, she must pick another thing that she is interested in and study and study on her own. I recommend baking first, and other hobbies later.
As long as she is willing to study, whether it's editing or baking, she will definitely learn. Now there are a lot of these tutorials on the Internet, while watching, imitating, and constantly trying, reviewing and reflecting, and improving the details, you will definitely be able to make an example.
And, encourage her to take pictures of the baking process, make it, post it on her own self-** account, insist on doing it, and insist on sending it.
Even if in the next 3 or 5 years, she will not go out to find any regular work and no income, but she must not be idle at home.
If she can persist in doing what I have said above for more than 5 years, I can responsibly say that by the time she is 22 years old, she will already be able to earn a little money to support herself, and she will be able to achieve initial economic independence.
If she can persist in doing these things for more than 10 years, then by the time she is 27, she will have material wealth and social achievements that can basically surpass her other peers, especially those who can easily surpass those who take the route of academic diplomas.
So, in the end, I would like to emphasize once again that the traditional route of high school and college is no longer the only way out for everyone in the future, and naturally you don't have to be overly anxious about the fact that your children can't continue to go to school.
Xi must not be stopped, but exam-taking Xi and academic diplomas are not so important. In the future, the way of learning Xi and the channels of learning Xi will gradually and completely change with the changes of the times, which is the trend of the times.
Well, that's all for today's content. If you have any other questions, please feel free to contact me. If you want to learn Xi with me for a long time, welcome to join my community. I'm Mr. Wei, see you next time.