"The eldest brothers in the family are connected by affection, even if there are conflicts between brothers, but they also care for each other's children, which is the expression that family affection trumps everything. ”
Hello, I am Ye Jinyuan, and I am 30 years old this year.
In the countryside, this age is already considered a mature youth.
Many people get married and have children early, their children are now in primary school, and some are even starting to think about having a second child.
But for my own marriage, it always seemed to be a problem. Until the beginning of this year, I didn't fall in love with anyone, and I had no plans to get married.
This is a question that has plagued parents, and they have been worried about it for years.
For four months, from February to June this year, I walked up and down the country roads almost every weekend.
There are probably more than a dozen people who are blind dates with each other.
The father's request is very simple, don't be too picky, don't care about appearance and height, as long as you have a compatible personality and can get along, you can consider getting married.
By June, I had finally met the right person and we were both happy with each other.
Originally, I planned to date for half a year and then consider getting married to see if it was a good fit, but we could wait, and my parents were impatient. My father saw that we were getting along and insisted that the parents of both sides meet and get married in October this year.
Before the engagement, though, there was a little trouble. Regarding the issue of the bride price at his girlfriend's family, they insisted on 210,000 yuan.
For most rural families, it is quite difficult to come up with 210,000 yuan. Even allowing many families to take out 50,000 deposits at one time is a large number.
My family only built a new house in the town last year, and it was really difficult to use all the savings to come up with another 200,000.
However, you can't do it if you don't take it out. The other parent's parents seem to insist, and they want it at the time of the engagement. If you can't achieve it, maybe this family business will be ruined.
In order for me to get married as soon as possible, my father, who has always been tough, also began to compromise this time, and hurriedly promised to find a way.
But this so-called "method" can only be borrowed by relatives from door to door. There is no other way.
A month before the engagement, the parents almost broke their legs, and the relatives almost borrowed it, but together with these, it was only 80,000 yuan.
I borrowed 100,000 yuan in my personal name from a rural bank, and I only got 180,000 yuan in total. The remaining thousands of pieces are really hard to find.
All the relatives in the village have borrowed it, but there is only one that has not moved, and that is my own uncle.
My uncle's family is good, so I asked him to borrow a little and it was solved.
But no one dared to mention this request, and the mother said casually: "Maybe ask the Arwen family if you can borrow some." ”
As soon as the words came out, his father got angry: "Impossible, I have no intersection with him, isn't it just to let him see jokes when I borrow money at this time?" ”
I understood that it was impossible to ask my uncle to borrow money.
The feud between the two brothers did not happen overnight.
When I was a child, I used to go to my uncle's house, and he would always give me good food, fun and amusement me. His house has a TV, a Playstation, an air conditioner and a refrigerator, so I go almost every weekend.
I wondered why my father never went to my uncle's house, but when I asked, he was always silent.
Once, I said ignorantly: My uncle's family has a big house, a TV and a game console, why don't we have it? Why don't you buy it?
My father was furious and beat me with a belt, forbidding me to mention it again and not to go to my uncle's house.
I didn't understand it at the time, but I later learned that my father was jealous of my uncle. Because his uncle's family was rich, his grandfather gave him priority to a good homestead. The father was very dissatisfied, and the two brothers began to quarrel.
Later, his uncle's family became better and better, and his father didn't want to contact him even more.
On his deathbed, Grandpa hoped that the two brothers would be reconciled, so he called his father and uncle and asked them to grant one last wish.
For the sake of my grandfather, my father and my uncle were reconciled, and our two families began to get together often, visiting each other and having dinner together.
However, less than three years after my grandfather's death, my father and uncle broke off contact due to conflicts.
The reason is very simple, my father has a Xi of gambling, owes a lot of money, and once owes a large amount of money and is called for debts.
The uncle couldn't look past it and helped his father pay off his debts. Then he told the people in the town to stop playing cards with his father, because he couldn't pay the money.
The uncle is kind, but in the eyes of the father, it is an insult and a disgrace.
Later, my father wanted to go to the town to play cards, but the people ignored him and said, "Your brother said that he won't let us play cards with you." If you lose, you won't pay it back. ”
These words embarrassed his father, and he hurried to his uncle to reason, and the two quarreled again.
Since then, the two brothers have cut off contact.
When I was 22 years old, my father told me that I couldn't go to my uncle's house or talk to them, otherwise I would cut off the relationship between father and son.
I think my father is a bit narrow-minded, but it's actually his fault.
But I knew that if I didn't do what he asked, he would get angry.
Over the years, my uncle and I never said hello in public. But in private, we would secretly sit down for tea and chat.
My uncle has always been kind to me, and said to me privately: "No matter what happens to me and your father, you will always be my nephew, and I will always be your uncle." If there's anything, you have to come to me. ”
I remember when I was 22 years old, I went out to look for a job, and my uncle asked my cousin to give me 5,000 yuan, saying that I should be prepared when I went out.
Over the years, my cousin and I have maintained a good relationship while we are away.
This engagement, my uncle did me a big favor again.
When we were only two weeks away from the engagement, my father went shopping in town on his motorcycle, my uncle found me, and my cousin was watching around to see if my father would come back.
My uncle gave me a stack of envelopes: "Jin Yuan, this is 50,000 yuan, see if it is enough for the bride price, not enough for me to pick up some tomorrow." ”
I said, "Uncle, how can you do this, I can't ask for your money." ”
Uncle said, "Why not?" I'm your uncle, I know your family is in difficulty, and it's not easy to get together a 210,000 bride price. I heard about it last night after drinking. ”
I heard that you still have a little money, so I can count this as my uncle's support for you.
Me: No, I can't accept it, I really can't do it, so I won't end it.
Uncle: You, you're all 30 years old, look at your cousin's children are all in kindergarten, what are you still hesitating about, take this money, don't talk about it.
By the way, if your dad asks, don't say that I gave it, say that it was a borrowed classmate, otherwise he will be angry.
I nodded, and then said to my uncle: I will borrow this money, and I will definitely return it to you in the future.
Uncle: Let's not talk about this for a while, there is another thing, when you get married, it is estimated that your father will not invite me, and your cousin will be the same.
If you set a date, let me know in advance, and I will give you a big red envelope.
After my uncle finished speaking, I wanted to continue, but he interrupted me, saying that he had to go, so be it, and it will be wrong when your father comes back.
After my uncle left, I took the money home and told my father that I had borrowed it from a classmate.
Not long ago, my partner and I officially got married.
This time, my uncle's family came.
But it wasn't my father who invited them, it was me.
Ten days before the wedding, my parents and I were talking to friends and relatives, and I mentioned inviting my uncle's family to the wedding, but as soon as I finished speaking, my father cast angry eyes.
This time was different, for the past thirty years, I have always been afraid of my father and have never dared to contradict it.
I said to my father, "This time, no one can come, but my uncle's family must come." If they don't come, I won't get married, and the whole village will laugh at me. ”
My father saw me so resolute, even angry, he had never seen me like this. But soon he nodded, saying that I was in charge.
Maybe it was the attitude that changed that day, after the uncle's family came, my father was not so indifferent.
Maybe because the wedding was celebrated, my father and uncle laughed as if they had never quarreled.
It made me very happy. After all, they are brothers, and I really hope that my father and uncle will not have conflicts in the future.
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