The most dignified refusal by an adult is called "not replying."
Perhaps, adult life is not so complicated, and the break of friendship may only require one reason.
The reason for this is simple, it is that I sent a message, and you chose not to respond.
It's like a person enthusiastically extending an olive branch and expecting a response from the other person. However, in the long wait, the enthusiasm gradually died out, and in the end there was only disappointment.
Since we haven't heard back, perhaps a better option is to calm down and not interfere with each other.
Not responding is tantamount to refusal.
Reply message, is it so difficult?"My colleague Xiao Wang started complaining when he saw me.
A few days ago, he submitted a brand new plan to customer B and politely asked for B's opinion through WeChat.
However, 24 hours passed, and B still did not respond.
Because this is related to the progress of the follow-up work, Xiao Wang contacted B through WeChat again, but still did not receive a reply.
Xiao Wang was a little anxious, and directly called B**, and finally got a response: "I'm still thinking about it."
Another day later, Xiao Wang learned from other sources that it turned out that when he was playing **, B was finalizing the project contract with another company.
Xiao Wang was very angry about his efforts for two weeks in a row.
Originally, customer A was very interested in Xiao Wang's plan, but because Xiao Wang had been waiting for A's response and ignored B, B eventually chose to leave.
Xiao Wang seemed to have hit a hollow basket, and then realized that two days ago, customer A had given him a clear answer. Not responding is actually the most straightforward answer.
If a person occasionally does not respond to messages, it may be because the information is drowning in a busy life, or it may be because he is busy with other things.
However, if you don't respond to messages many times, it's likely that you just don't want to respond.
When you keep moving forward, trying to catch up with the other person, and the other person never looks back, there is only one meaning:
Please don't bother".
Well, you don't need to be active all the time.
Because not replying is the most callous denial.
Not replying, means you're not that important.
There's a passage that says it well:
The contacts in your address book can be divided into three categories:
One is those who can share their lives and communicate frequently;
One is to maintain a superficial relationship, not too close;
The last category is dispensable and unwilling to socialize too much.
Some people tend to divide people into high and low, and even treat the messages they receive differently.
It reminds me of a junior high school classmate.
We haven't seen each other for many years, but by chance we reconnected and added WeChat to each other.
In the beginning, we talked almost nothing, reminiscing about the bits and pieces of middle school, until ......we talked about work, getting married, and having children
Gradually, I sent her messages, and she didn't reply very much. At first, I thought she might be busy and didn't pay much attention to it.
Later, I found out that she did not reply at all, but selectively.
For example, when I share with her ways to improve her child's grades, she responds almost quickly to a classmate's promotion or what kind of business is more profitable.
It turned out that she was not busy, but she was thinking about which information was more valuable and which was more worthy of response.
There is no information that cannot be received, only people who are unwilling to respond.
Love someone, he will respond to every message with his heart and will find time to reply no matter how busy he is.
For people who don't have you in their hearts, they often choose to ignore your messages, even if they have a lot of money, they don't bother to spend a little thought.
The reason for silence and avoidance is nothing more than that you are not that important in the other person's heart.
People who don't reply to messages may not be worthy of deep friendship.
There was once a host Cai Kangyong who said a sentence:
If a man misses you, he will look for you;If he wants you, he will express it;If he cares about you, he will show his true feelings;If none of this happens, then maybe he's not worth your trouble. "
When one day, the other person stops replying to your messages, it may mean that the relationship is starting to become distant.
I have a friend who cried to me for a long time on the day she and her ex broke up.
Half a year ago, she and her ex met on a blind date, and the two hit it off, added WeChat to each other, and started a relationship.
In the beginning, the two sides got along well, and the ex was wholeheartedly devoted to her, and no matter what trivial thing she came to him for, he would rush over as soon as possible.
But I don't know when it started, and the ex no longer replied to her messages in a timely manner as before.
Sometimes she sends a screen of text, but the dialog box is still blank.
She thought that her ex might not have seen the message, but she saw that he had been holding his mobile phone and liking others in the circle of friends from time to time.
She thought she had said the wrong thing and made him angry, so she went over and a cold voice came from the other side:
I saw the message, there is no need to reply. "
Don't you reply when you see it?Even if I reply 'received' or explicitly refuse, I won't wait there!"
She felt very aggrieved, but her ex was not emotional at all, and next time, the situation will remain the same.
One weekend, she was invited to play by a colleague.
As she approached her destination, she saw a familiar figure in the distance, it was her ex!Walking side by side with him was a girl with shawl hair.
She suddenly remembered what her ex had said earlier: the girl he had chased in college had now returned to the city to work.
She finally understands why her ex no longer picks her up from work every day, asks her for coffee on weekends, and cares about everything about her.
Last month, Xiaoyu suffered from a high fever and her body temperature soared to 39 degrees Celsius. Being in a different place, she dialed Haoran's ** for the first time, however, it was disappointing that Haoran did not show up for a long time.
I don't know how long it took for Haoran to appear casually by Xiaoyu's side, hurriedly cooked a bowl of noodles for her, and then put down the dishes and chopsticks, leaving a sentence to leave first.
Haoran's coldness made Xiaoyu feel disheartened, and that night, she hid in the quilt and cried silently for a while.
In retrospect, perhaps it was from then that the relationship between the two began to crack. Xiaoyu has been trying to pull the line of affection, she thinks that as long as she is more tolerant and pays more, Haoran will love her as deeply as before.
However, this is just wishful thinking on the part of Xiaoyu. She finally recognized that the relationship was not sincere and bravely proposed to break up.
Feelings are a matter of two people, and they should not be one-sided. If you ignore me, I don't need to force it.
I once saw a hot comment on NetEase Cloud: "There is a kind of respect, which is called please reply when you receive it." ”
WeChat sent by others, even if it is busy, it is worth replying, even if it is just a few simple words, even if it is a frank refusal, it is a hundred times more kind than ignoring.
Adult feelings require sincere communication. Even if you see through the indifference and ruthlessness of the world, you can't squander the enthusiasm of others.
People who obviously see a message and don't reply are not worthy of deep friendship.
See such a sentence:
The most decent goodbye for adults is that I didn't reply to your last message, and you were also very tacit and didn't send it again.
Sometimes, not answering is a rejection, so please don't bother.
Every WeChat message you send is conveying a kind of message, whether you reply or not, it is related to the exchange of hearts.
If you don't get a reply for a long time, then simply "block".
From then on, the mountains and the water look at each other, the sun and the moon no longer intersect, you are you, I am me.
In the future, please don't waste your life waiting.